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ontheballcity.com Norwich City v Real Zaragoza

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Here is the letter, for those wondering:

Mr. Aguirre, I must first express my sympathy for the task you’ve taken on. The terrible twos are a difficult age for anyone to manage! Let’s begin with your goalkeeper Toni D, he did seem to tantrum over tiny things, may I suggest a naughty step system? This involves Toni being placed on a step when he throws a tantrum. This would be benefical for the keeper as in the process he may grow up to be a calm, well mannered young man. Your goalscorer Braulio, despite scoring he seemed to feel the need to tap our full-back Russell Martin on the head. Now sir, is this really mature? It seems to be a petty act and could do with addressing. It indicates possible anger management issues in later life, this problem could also affect your captain, whose name has slipped my tongue. So I shall address him as the one who wants to be Gatusso. He was far more erratic than Braulio, ‘flipping out’ at many different moments. Perhaps an educational video with Barney may be benefical, ‘Don’t get angry kids…’ Finally, Mr. Aguirre the toddlers in your care may learn their behaviour from you. So perhaps watch the way you act, you’re an elderly man, perhaps set in your ways, though do your utmost to set a decent example – don’t march down the touchline wagging your finger!

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