Ricardo's report v Parma

[ricardo 8,034]

Ricardo made a last minute decision at lunchtime to stroll down and run the rule over the new boys. So forsaking an extra Peroni it was off to CR at 2pm.The stadium looked a picture on a warm afternoon as Ricardo took up an unaccustomed position just behind the River End goal. The early play was cagey and fully five minutes were on the clock before City made any sort of foray into the Parma box. A couple of swinging crosses were well dealt with by their keeper as City slowly gained the upper hand. Naughton caught the eye early with some assured play and also Bennett whose crossing was of the highest class. Holt was looking lively and nearly got Jackson away after a surging run and then moments later almost turned in another dangerous cross from Bennett. Jackson really should have opened the scoring after 16 minutes when a bad bounce caught out the Parma defence and left him clear on the edge of the box. A shimmy round the keeper seemed the best option but instead it was a side foot that was blocked by the advancing keeper.City were now on top and Parma only had a couple of snap shots that Ruddy dealt with comfortably. The goal finally came on 33 minutes when after a spell of pressure, Bennett found Holt six yards out and the City talisman netted easily despite the keeper getting something on it. One almost became two as Holt headed narrowly over a few minutes later. The big man was a real handfull for the Parma defence and I reckon he will get his share in the Prem this season. I made him my MOM this afternoon.It was the same team that started the second half but within five minutes Bennett, Jackson and Whitbread departed to be replaced by Pilkington, Barnett and Bradley Johnson. This signalled a lull in City''s attacking intentions and Parma began to come into it a bit more. The little number 10, Giovinco looked real class and he brought a good save out of Ruddy with a fine run and 20 yard strike. City soon regained the ascendancy however and a sweet move involving Wes, Holty and Surman ended with the latter tucking in number two. Chris Martin, Drury and Morrison appeared with 20 minutes left as Holt Wes and Tierney left. City still looked well in command and Martin impressed me with several nice linkups with Fox who was also having a fine game. With five minutes left a third goal rounded things off nicely as Surman deflected Pilkingtons low cross into the net. The defence had been seldom bothered and apart from the impressive Naughton, De Laet also looked very assured and confident on and off the ball.All things considered it was a pleasing work out that gives me confidence that we won''t be found wanting when the big league kicks off.

[Unhinged Canary 375]

An exquisite report as per usual Ricardo!Your Saturday evening reads have been sorely missed.At least now we have the Premier League to match the Premier reports.Cheers! [D]

[Largey 0]

Cannot disagree with that Ricardo. I thought Bennetts crossing was super and Tierney looked as fit as a fiddle. Fox was composed and sent some lovely balls over the defence, where Jackson was as sharp as ever although should have scored twice, and Holt looked stronger than before and controlled the ball better. The new players gelled in well and the flow from last season was still apparent, My MOTM would go to Hoolahan, he was excellent on the ball.

[Yobocop 1,444]

did Michael Oliver get any stick today Ricardo?

[ricardo 8,034]

[quote user="Give Peas a Chance "]did Michael Oliver get any stick today Ricardo?[/quote]I thought the game was handled quite well GPC. It flowed nicely at times despite one or two wild tackles from both teams. There was a bit of a blow up late on when Bradley caught a Parma player in the chest with his studs but it was nothing more than handbags at five places. All in all I think the game was handled in a very sensible way.

[Gingerpele 0]

Didn''t realise he was the ref, it said someone else in the programme. Didn''t really have much to do, its hard to officiate a friendly really, you can''t be too harsh, but need to keep the game in order.

Great report Ricardo, don''t think you''ve said anything i can disagree with.

Hoolahan was very sharp today, the moment when the ball fell down, and he turned with it instantly, taking two players out of the game was simply amazing.

Fox showed again his huge range of passing skill, keeps the game flowing with quick accurate close range passing, but also has an eye for some great long balls.

Morrison looked promising when he came on, he didn''t do much, but i came away feeling he could be quite a useful player this season.

Was slightly disappointed Jackson didn''t put away one of those two chances he had, second one was at a stretch though.

Was a great game, and i think we can be happy with the players and options we have this season.

[im spartacus canary 0]

to be honest the lino on the jarrold side was such a bruiser i think he was michael olivers bodyguard [:D]

[Kingston Yellow 259]

Great match report as usual Ricardo - the 3rd party references and general characterisations make my toes curl, otherwise they''re excellent.

Sorry to be harsh but thought I should balance out the season long sunshine that will undoubtedly be blown up your arse.

OTBC

[TIL 1010 5,246]

[quote user="Gingerpele"]. Was slightly disappointed Jackson didn''t put away one of those two chances he had.[/quote]

For the attention of Smudger.[:P]

[Yobocop 1,444]

[quote user="Kingston Yellow"]Great match report as usual Ricardo - the 3rd party references and general characterisations make my toes curl, otherwise they''re excellent.

Sorry to be harsh but thought I should balance out the season long sunshine that will undoubtedly be blown up your arse.

OTBC[/quote]

This made me laugh a lot....even if it was ever so slightly harsh lol

[TIL 1010 5,246]

[quote user="ricardo"] Jackson really should have opened the scoring after 16 minutes when a bad bounce caught out the Parma defence and left him clear on the edge of the box. A shimmy round the keeper seemed the best option but instead it was a side foot that was blocked by the advancing keeper.

City were now on top and Parma only had a couple of snap shots that Ruddy dealt with comfortably. 
[/quote]

For the attention of Smudger.[;)]

[AJ 1,359]

I do fear for Jackson''s conversion rate. He won''t be able to miss too many chances like that in the league.

[Cantiaci Canary 610]

[quote user="Kingston Yellow"]Great match report as usual Ricardo - the 3rd party references and general characterisations make my toes curl, otherwise they''re excellent. Sorry to be harsh but thought I should balance out the season long sunshine that will undoubtedly be blown up your arse. OTBC[/quote]

 

It''s nothing more than charm.

[ricardo 8,034]

[quote user="Cantiaci Canary"]

[quote user="Kingston Yellow"]Great match report as usual Ricardo - the 3rd party references and general characterisations make my toes curl, otherwise they''re excellent. Sorry to be harsh but thought I should balance out the season long sunshine that will undoubtedly be blown up your arse. OTBC[/quote]

 

It''s nothing more than charm.

[/quote]Just wait until Snowy the cat makes his debut prediction, LOL.

[Bury Yellow 2]

Brilliant report as usual Ricardo. Third party references are all part of the enjoyment. I can understand where Kingston is coming from but your ''tongue in cheek'' approach allows you to getaway with it - with or without your Snowy.

The first Ricardo report of the new season - Yep I''m ready now for the Premier League!!

[Bovril 264]

Agreement with Kingston.

Always good match reports but put off reading sometimes due to the 3rd person reference and film-script blurbs in between.

[Houston Canary 0]

3rd person references are fine in this kind of report because it re-enforces your neutral style which is what makes your reports so well worth reading.

[Account Closed 0]

Getalife is frequently drawn to read Ricardo''s posts and consequently compelled  him to enquire into Ricardo''s quaint style of expression and here follows a brief synopsis of what he found. Getalife insists the findings do not necessarily reflect his own views on the subject of Illeism particularly as the findings are not at all complimentary.Getalife Suspects however that Snowy and Ricardo are one and the same being.Ricardo please come clean and end your followers bewilderment.P.S I Love YouIlleism is the act of referring to oneself in the third person instead of the more appropriate first person.Possibly an attempt to get attention. Possibly they want someone to be concerned that they aren''t well. If this is the case, I would talk to them at least in passing and ask why they say that. Another one could be that they have self-acknowledgement issues. Possibly guilt/shame/embarassment. Possibly low self-esteem. They may feel like an outsider as this would be a symbolic way to represent the self in a disasociated manner. People who do this may be coping with some issues that need to be brought into light. I would look at other aspects of their behavior. If it is deliberated towards some and not others, those who they direct this impersonal self-reference towards may be people who they feel neglected by. They may be sanely trying to say, in an oblique manner, "You don''t acknowledge me, and so now neither do I." Possible Passive-aggressive tendacies? I would say these are most likely only because I have personally done this in my youth for reasons stated herein.In everyday speechIlleism in everyday speech can have a variety of intentions depending on context. One common usage is to impart humility, a common practice in feudal societies and other societies where honorifics are important to observe ("Your servant awaits your orders"), as well as in master-slave relationships ("This slave needs to be punished"). Recruits in the military are also often made to refer to themselves in the third-person, such as "This soldier" or "This recruit," in order to reduce the sense of individuality and enforce the idea of the group being more important than the self. The use of illeism in this context imparts a sense of lack of self, implying a diminished importance of the speaker in relation to the addressee or to a larger whole.Conversely, in different contexts, illeism can be used to reinforce self-promotion, as used to sometimes comic effect by Bob Dole throughout his political career.[2] This was particularly made notable during the United States presidential election, 1996 and lampooned broadly in popular media for years afterwards.Similarly illeism is used with an air of grandeur, to give the speaker lofty airs. Idiosyncratic and conceited people are known to either use or are lampooned as using illeism to puff themselves up or illustrate their egoism. The artist Salvador Dalí used illeism throughout his interview with 60 Minutes''s Mike Wallace, punctuating it with "Dalí is immortal and will not die," although this may have been a reference to the legacy of his art rather than his actual self. The wrestler The Rock was notorious for this, mainly to enhance his persona to a superhuman level.An increasingly common use of illeism in common speech is as sarcasm, used when a person is being spoken about by other people present as if they weren''t there. For example, Alice and Bob having a conversation about Carol: "Did you hear about Carol?" to which Carol interrupts with "Carol can hear you, you know."Young children in Japan commonly refer to themselves by their own name (a habit probably picked from their elders who would normally refer to them by name, this is due to the normal Japanese way of speaking where referring to another in the third person is considered more polite rather than using the Japanese words for "you", like Omae[3]) though as the children grow older they normally switch over to using first person references. Japanese Idols also may refer to themselves as so to give of the feeling of childlike cuteness.In literatureEarly literature such as Julius Caesar''s Commentarii de Bello Gallico or Xenophon''s Anabasis, both ostensibly non-fictional accounts of wars led by their authors, used illeism to impart an air of objective impartiality to the account, which included justifications of the author''s actions. In this way personal bias is presented, albeit dishonestly, as objectivity.Illeism can also be used in literature to provide a twist, wherein the identity of the narrator as also being the main character is hidden from the reader until later in the story; the use of third person implies external observation. A similar use is when the author injects themselves into their own third-person-narrative story as a character, such as Charlie Kaufman in Adaptation, Douglas Coupland in JPod, and commonly done by Clive Cussler in his novels, beginning with Dragon. (There are also novels in which illeism may have been committed, but are not explicit, such the Traveller in H. G. Wells'' The Time Machine, the identity of whom is often presumed to be Wells himself, as portrayed in the 1979 film Time After Time.)It can also be used as a device to illustrate the feeling of "being outside one''s body and watching things happen", a psychological disconnect resulting from dissonance either from trauma such as childhood physical or sexual abuse, or from psychotic episodes of actions that can''t be reconciled with the individual''s own self-image.The same kind of objective distance can be employed for other purposes. Theologian Richard B. Hays writes an essay where he challenges earlier findings that he disagrees with. These were the findings of one Richard B. Hays, and the newer essay treats the earlier work and earlier author at arms'' length.[1]A common device in science fiction is for robots, computers, and other artificial life to refer to themselves in the third person, e.g. "This unit is malfunctioning" or "Number Five is alive" (famously said by Johnny Five in Short Circuit), to suggest that these creatures are not truly self-aware, or else that they separate their consciousness from their physical form.Illeism is also a device used to show idiocy, such as the character Mongo in Blazing Saddles, e.g. "Mongo like candy" and "Mongo only pawn in game of life."Third-Person Person"Are you ready to lose to Johnny Steps?""Referring to myself in the third-person makes me a bad guy!""Oh, no, Johnny Steps is losing! And that''s me!"— Johnny Steps, Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged SeriesA Third-Person Person is a character who always refers to himself or herself in the third person.In anime, girls who are childish or cutesy may refer to themselves in this manner. In older characters, however, it may be a sign of psychological issues, such as a very traumatic event in their past. It also may be a sign of extreme humbleness, samurai and noblewomen usually refer to themselves in the third person when talking to their lords. If a character transitions into a Third Person Person over the course of the series, watch out for signs of Yandere, and keep tabs on all pointy objects. Split Personality"There''s just one problem... you''re talking to the wrong Ricardo."— Harvey Dent, Batman: The Animated Series Hollywood Psych    Q: How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?    A: Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.

[chicken 0]

Good report as usual Ricardo.

I will just add and comment on a couple of things I saw as well. It was a brilliant game in many ways.

First off, I am not sure the result came because we were so good or because they were so poor. I never felt that the lads in yellow and green really pushed into anywhere near top gear until the second half.

Parma seemed to lack any sort of bite in midfield until it was too late and then they went in heavy in a lot of challenges. What please me was the way our players reacted and just got on with it.

They had some weird squad numbers. Standout players for them for me were numbers 99 and 10.

Right back to us.

As Ricardo has said, there were two changes in personnel. I would also say that there were three tactical changes.

First off when Bennett, Jackson and Whitbread were replaced by Pilkington, Barnett and Bradley it looked like we swapped to a 4-4-2 with Bradley sitting alongside Fox and Pilkington and Surman as the wide men.

This really seemed to work well, the extra muscle in the centre of the pitch worked well. Johnson, on this performance, is not the best ball player but he will threaten and scare some players and he is a good ball winner, strong and not slow either.

Hoolahan was left to play a role up front with Holt. For some reason it looked to me that Holt played better in the second half, making better runs and out-running some of their defenders on a couple of occasions. Wesley grew into the game as it went on and to me the second half was much higher tempo.

The moment of the match for him was a deft control of the ball out of the air with two Parma players bearing down on him expecting the ball to be a little bit loose to challenge for due to it coming out of the sky. But no, Wes not only catches the ball on the top of his foot, he some how manages to ground it and drag it back all in one silky movement leaving both of the Parma players for dead.

Then came the next round of substitutions with C. Martin, Drury and Morrison.

Drury was as solid as ever - Mr. Dependable indeed. Martin and Morrison really impressed. There isn''t as much bustle about Morrison as there is about Holt but what he lacks in that department he has in pace.

Martin and Morrison were very much up front and Martin was heavily involved in a lot of moves. One thing that I liked to see which should put some to bed on here with is his attitude. He ran hard, fought hard and was absolutely hammering their defence.

A lot of the kerfuffle that happened was mainly due to the fact that Martin had turned their defence inside out which appeared to frustrate one Parmer defender so much he thought, and then argued that it is perfectly legal (in football) to hold a player back with your hand in his face even when you don''t have the ball. Despite this Martin managed to get past him only to be brought crashing to the ground.

Ref had strong words with a group of their players that were complaining.

It looked like the initial change was to 4-4-2 and then the last change appeared to emphasise a more counter-attacking outlook with more pace up front available for balls over the top.

What was pleasing was that for each round of changes we scored a goal.

MOM as announced at the stadium was Naughton. It must have been incredibly hard to decide because I think every player was in with a shout.

It''s harsh on Surman who scored two and was very classy. As Ricardo says Holt was just a bucket of problems for Parma who ''didn''t like it up em sir!'' I would also say that Pilkington was very impressive, lots of tricks, two very good feet and is prepared to get stuck in and battle.

I am not sure how you would hazard a guess at the starting line-up against Wigan on that.

Two things worth mentioning in my mind. C.Martin was far more influential than Jackson. I have said in the past that Jackson can be a bit one dimensional as a striker relying a lot of the time purely on his pace. I saw enough of him today to accept that I was wrong on that front and he displayed a good use of skill and at times hold up play. However he had two really good chances to score. As Ricardo says, the first all he had to do was beat a keeper who had pretty much committed one way, a shimmy to the left would have had the entire goal beckoning but instead he tried to pass it past the keeper and failed. The second was a much more difficult chance and he had the decision whether to put his laces through it or to try and lift it over the keepers head, he tried the latter and the keeper got a hand to it. Quite unlucky, but for me didn''t offer as much as C.Martin who just seems to have that bit more ''presence'' and is able to really contest for headers.

Ward. Ward sat behind me in one of the boxes at the back of the Barclay stand. A couple of the players waved at him as they warmed up along the touchline. In the second half he was replaced by what appeared to be the players wives, kids and maybe a relative or two.

At times we looked a bit lacking when defending set pieces. Part of it was height but I also think that Ward is such a physical presence, it was almost like we lacked that muscle in there to shepherd some of the bigger and tougher players Parma had.

It was better when Barnet came on but is something to consider when we play the more rugged teams. I know Ward has his detractors but to me he is one of our strongest ''stoppers'' and he could really be missed for the beginning of the season.

[ricardo 8,034]

Thanks for those very interesting theories "Getalife".My take on it is as follows. Those of us born under the sign of the twins are cursed with two different personalities and in my case I''m never quite sure which one is in charge. I therefore respectively refer to my alter ego in the third person and I hope he does the same to me. All very confusing but you would understand if you were a Gemini.Mrs Ricardo often remarks that its like being married to two different people. One of her favourite sayings is "and which one are we today dear".I hope that makes things clear.As for Snowy the cat, he does indeed exsist and is at this moment resting in front of the TV  after watching the first half of West Ham v Cardiff. He hasn''t shown much interest so I guess he''s saving himself for the big kick off next week.

[Account Closed 0]

[quote user="ricardo"]Thanks for those very interesting theories "Getalife".My take on it is as follows. Those of us born under the sign of the twins are cursed with two different personalities and in my case I''m never quite sure which one is in charge. I therefore respectively refer to my alter ego in the third person and I hope he does the same to me. All very confusing but you would understand if you were a Gemini.Mrs Ricardo often remarks that its like being married to two different people. One of her favourite sayings is "and which one are we today dear".I hope that makes things clear.As for Snowy the cat, he does indeed exsist and is at this moment resting in front of the TV  after watching the first half of West Ham v Cardiff. He hasn''t shown much interest so I guess he''s saving himself for the big kick off next week.

[/quote]Well Ricardo I see youu as a  rather stable and contented man who displays the early symptoms of  '' Dissociative identity disorder'' like many of us. It would necessarily follow that you are an ideal candidate for a jolly fine football supporter and we are fortunate to have you as a contributer  to our forum and the football club itself.I for one will continue to read your reports until you finally go over the edge.Please give my best  regards to Snowy  and Snowy  and Ricardo & Ricardo.

[calriv 0]

Jackson should have scored a hat-trick, missing two sitters as well. Let''s hope he hasn''t gone back to his form at the start of last season :S

[Lewie - Holt Our Saviour 0]

It''s one match, don''t complain at Jacko!West Brom are losing to Parma at the moment...

[ricardo 8,034]

[quote user="Getalife"][quote user="ricardo"]Thanks for those very interesting theories "Getalife".My take on it is as follows. Those of us born under the sign of the twins are cursed with two different personalities and in my case I''m never quite sure which one is in charge. I therefore respectively refer to my alter ego in the third person and I hope he does the same to me. All very confusing but you would understand if you were a Gemini.Mrs Ricardo often remarks that its like being married to two different people. One of her favourite sayings is "and which one are we today dear".I hope that makes things clear.As for Snowy the cat, he does indeed exsist and is at this moment resting in front of the TV  after watching the first half of West Ham v Cardiff. He hasn''t shown much interest so I guess he''s saving himself for the big kick off next week.

[/quote]Well Ricardo I see youu as a  rather stable and contented man who displays the early symptoms of  '' Dissociative identity disorder'' like many of us. It would necessarily follow that you are an ideal candidate for a jolly fine football supporter and we are fortunate to have you as a contributer  to our forum and the football club itself.I for one will continue to read your reports until you finally go over the edge.Please give my best  regards to Snowy  and Snowy  and Ricardo & Ricardo.[/quote]Many thanks for those kind words from all four of us.

[Gingerpele 0]

[quote user="Lewie - Holt Our Saviour"]It''s one match, don''t complain at Jacko!West Brom are losing to Parma at the moment...[/quote]

Of course you can complain Lewie. Jackson missed two one on ones, a professional football striker should be scoring those chances, and if he misses two one on ones next week, and we lose/draw thats a big big mistake.

Now of course in a friendly, it doesn''t really matter, but those kinds of misses are exactly the thing that will bring his confidence down and make him more likely to start of like he did last season, and its a big worry. When he took 6/7 months to really start playing well, you have to worry about that happening again this season, as we really can''t afford to have that happen.

[hogesar 10,763]

[quote user="Gingerpele"][quote user="Lewie - Holt Our Saviour"]It''s one match, don''t complain at Jacko!West Brom are losing to Parma at the moment...[/quote]

Of course you can complain Lewie. Jackson missed two one on ones, a professional football striker should be scoring those chances, and if he misses two one on ones next week, and we lose/draw thats a big big mistake.

Now of course in a friendly, it doesn''t really matter, but those kinds of misses are exactly the thing that will bring his confidence down and make him more likely to start of like he did last season, and its a big worry. When he took 6/7 months to really start playing well, you have to worry about that happening again this season, as we really can''t afford to have that happen.[/quote]Interesting to see Smudgers response...He was happy to criticise Ruddy''s pre-season performances but i wonder if he''ll do the same for Jackson''s misses...My personal opinion is it''s ridiculous to criticise either. Yes it seems jackson should have scored one or two, and yes Ruddy should have dealt better with a corner. But Jackson''s also looked dangerous, and Ruddy''s also made good saves i.e the double save against Zaragoza. If they''re gonna make mistakes i''d rather it would be pre-season...

[Gingerpele 0]

Its not fair to criticise, but i think its fair to mention it and say that he perhaps should have put one or the other away. And him not doing that, can lead to worrying about how he will start the season. I hope he plays well, but because of the first 1/2-2/3rds of last season, its easy to think he could do the same, especially since were now in the premiership.

[hogesar 10,763]

[quote user="Gingerpele"]Its not fair to criticise, but i think its fair to mention it and say that he perhaps should have put one or the other away. And him not doing that, can lead to worrying about how he will start the season. I hope he plays well, but because of the first 1/2-2/3rds of last season, its easy to think he could do the same, especially since were now in the premiership.[/quote]He wasn''t really given a fair chance until Martin''s form dropped and got injured though..

[Gerry Harrison 2]

West Brom V Parma finished 1-1. Injury time equalizer. The attendance was 6,068, less than half the crowd at Carrow Road yesterday.

[a1canary 0]

I''ve been saying it for months and i''ll say it again - Martin C is going to make the step up with ease. He feels it''s where he belongs, which is arrogant, but I fully expect him to prove it.