Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Shaun Tilly Lace

Was Delia well refreshed on Tuesday?

Recommended Posts

If anyone still  doesn''t understand that outside our little Norwich bubble[8-|][;)][8-|] Delia is regarded as an absolute laughing stock they should read this savage piece in the Daily Telegraph, which shreds what ever was left of her reputation. Unfortunately to get past the Telegraph libel lawyers some changes had to be made, but I have obtained a copy of the original damning piece. I have added what this brave journalist wanted to write in red, just to show what his real feelings are:

 

Very few opinions qualify as automatic relationship deal-breakers in a godless, post-ideological era, but I could never stay on speaking terms with anyone who claimed not to worship/despise with every fibre of their being Delia Smith.

 

Adoration/incandescent hatred surged anew this week when our unlikeliest football oligarch reprised her most celebrated moment outside, and possibly including, the kitchen. Six years after she stormed the Norwich City pitch at half time to rouse "the best supporters in the world", Delia was at it again.

 

The general mood may have been merrier this time, with the latest keynote address to fellow fans coming in celebration of promotion rather than despair at yielding a first-half lead. But Delia herself appeared precisely as merry. As merry, that is, as a newt.

 

She would no doubt deny the involvement of drink, as she did in 2005 after serenading the faithful with the immortal "Cahm on, let''s be ''aving you!". Yet in Tuesday''s triumphal peroration/incoherent embarrassment  from the town hall balcony, there were a few vague hints that the club chairman had said "Let''s be ''aving you" to seconds, thirds, fourths and quite possibly fifths of the sherry trifle.

 

Apart from the giggling, chanting, and use of the euphemistic adjective "frigging", for example, she referred to Norwich staying up rather than going up, and to manager Paul Lambert as Paul Langbert (but hats off for nailing the "Paul" bit). Eventually, the compère foreshortened the rhetorical tour de force early with exquisite politesse. "I think this is as good a place as any to leave it," he said, gently reclaiming the microphone, "don''t you?"

 

Well, no, actually, I don''t. Me, I could listen to/cheerfully throw large rocks at Delia in lubricious mode for hours on end. Forgive the sexism, but where in drink the middle-aged male is a repugnant beast – bossy, loud, didactic and know-all; even given, in some cases, to stultifying the table with blue jokes – the female d''un certain age tends to be a delight. Jenni Murray''s Sony-award acceptance speech earlier this week, although hardly the full Delia, was charming, as she confessed to having had a few because she was certain she wouldn''t win.

 

Delia''s reticence about liking a drop when the situation demands, in defiance of overwhelming prima facie evidence, is incredibly engaging/unspeakably nauseating. A devout Catholic and the author of four spiritual tomes, none of which quite matched the 20 million hardback sales for one cookery book alone, perhaps she suffers entirely misplaced guilt pang/a total lack of shame whenever she mutates – and it is a rarity; she didn''t build a stellar career without iron discipline – into our finest comic drunk since Jennifer Saunders''s Edina, or even the great Arthur Lowe.

 

As unaffected and unstarry/tediously smug and twee off screen as on it, still living in the same comparatively modest cottage with neither an air nor a grace, she has our love/undying animosity and always will.

 

All that remains by way of showing due appreciation/a belated public humiliation is a peerage/a week in the stocks. As exuberant as a lord, a lady is what she richly deserves to become. The Baroness Smith of Letsby Avenue… now doesn''t that have a pleasing/terminally sick-making ring?

 

 




Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Delia, oh, Delia, Delia all my life / If I

hadn''t have shot poor Delia, I''d have had her for my wife / Delia''s

gone, one more round, Delia''s gone ...Thanks Johnny Cash.I  read the same piece over my warmed Sainsbury''s croissant and coffee. I read it slightly differently.You missed out the AWThompson comments.I find a woman of a certain age who likes a full glass totally engaging.Dame Helen my telephone number is 01234...I like Delia all the more for her enthusiasm.. ''Fraid I don''t know anything about the footie.And I had to give up on the Rioja a few years ago!.A lifetime ago Arthur Lowe (mentioned in the article) suffered from narcolepsy and had to have his wife on stage who never spoke during pantomimes.She was there to give him a poke everytime he was due to say a line. It was quite unsettling to find him nodding off mid speech!Anyway I find Delia''s rants more fun than no rantsce

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

[quote user="ChristopherE"]Delia, oh, Delia, Delia all my life / If I hadn''t have shot poor Delia, I''d have had her for my wife / Delia''s gone, one more round, Delia''s gone ...
Thanks Johnny Cash.


I  read the same piece over my warmed Sainsbury''s croissant and coffee. I read it slightly differently.
You missed out the AWThompson comments.
I find a woman of a certain age who likes a full glass totally engaging.
Dame Helen my telephone number is 01234...
I like Delia all the more for her enthusiasm.. ''Fraid I don''t know anything about the footie.
And I had to give up on the Rioja a few years ago!.

A lifetime ago Arthur Lowe (mentioned in the article) suffered from narcolepsy and had to have his wife on stage who never spoke during pantomimes.
She was there to give him a poke everytime he was due to say a line. It was quite unsettling to find him nodding off mid speech!

Anyway I find Delia''s rants more fun than no rants
ce
[/quote]

 

---

 

Only because even the most vehement anti-Deliarite might find themselves nodding in agreement with her view on that subject!

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Pass the bucket.....  [+o(]Sycophantic bollox.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Cluck mate get a life.  You and others like you are really a pain in the ass.I live in Sheffield and boy do I know who the Blunts and Wendy''s would prefer to have in charge of their club.  Indeed the Blunt''s Chair models a lot of what the Blunts do on what Delia has created at Carra Rudd but cos he ain''t in residence, doesn''t get down with the fans and act as a real fan, his tinkering is not responded to by the Blunts own fans.  The media are sh*ts so don''t worry what they print.  Footie fans outside of Norwich look at what has happened here with a great deal of respect.  Agreed they have a laugh at some of the things but then we all laugh at each other down the pub when we remember each other''s drunken antics and statements but it doesn''t need to lead to disrespect unless you are a tea-total asshole (which potentially Cluck luv you are and that is your real issue?) - just makes Delia''s attitude more real - more real than some Yank or Asian billionaire''s pontifications on how far they are going to take the club and how much they understand the fans perspective - b*ll8cks - they only like their bank account.  Sure Delia had a bit of luck in poaching McNasty, and thus grabbing Lambo, but the fact was the Club was in a position it could respond to that.  In most city''s the club could have had the same piece of luck but McNasty and Lambo would have walked within three months because the clubs were not allowing them the freedom to do what they wanted.  Norwich is a family club, has appointed some great marketing people in the past who have created a brand that is properly inclusive and carries all comers with them.  Yes they may be happy clappy at times and may not have the Barclay background that you and I know of from the 70''s & 80''s, but really who wants to go through that shit every week again.  Our fans currently really are a credit to everyone assoicated with the club (apart from a few keyboard warriors on here).I appreciate that 2005-2009 was a crap period.  The fact is this period was shorter than the Blunts, Wendys, Dirty''s and Soton''s period in the desert so something must be right in Carra Rudd towers.  I for one appreciate Delia sticking with it.  The publicity from the media will potentially focus on her, but now it is time for McNasty and Lambo and the players next season to finally move the focus off her nationally.  I am sure she will be truly pleased with that, but if it means there are more stories of her being drunk in the press next year at civic celebrations to mark further success for Norwich - I for one will be drinking with her!Right feel better for that - now for the farce of the FA Cup Final.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Great post Shef[Y]

 

And anyone who speaks to other club''s fans on their days out or is exiled like you will have had similar conversations.

 

The thing that strikes me is how much jealousy there was on this board when the scummers "were saved" by their knight in invisible armour. How they supposedly had so much more ambition than us. Yet the truth is we have now been in the prem twice since they have. On both occasions we won automatic promotion whilst they had to struggle through the play-offs for their one promotion. Even the scummers are jealous of what we have if they are truly honest with themselves.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
As I regularly remind you... I don''t expect any thanks for playing my not inconsiderable part in changing things round at Carrow Road.That''s just the way it is.....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
[quote user="itstheruddyfuture"]Thanks?? For trying to damage the club?

No, you are despised for that.[/quote]Despised?  My my.... that''s a strong word isn''t it?  If your limited mentaility can''t work out fantasy from reality you''ve got serious problems if you ever pluck up the nerve to leave your bedroom.By the way... if you do....don''t stare at the round shiney thing in the sky or you''ll go blind.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ho Ho Ho - That''s all you''ve got isn''t it?

Bile poured upon bile.

Go off and get hit by a bus, I''ll send flowers.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
[quote user="itstheruddyfuture"]Go off and get hit by a bus, I''ll send flowers.[/quote]

With respect, that''s not very cool, Ruddy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Appreciate that Alex but with respect Clucky only wants to damage our club, he''s a waste of space and do you see a lot of respect coming from him? No.

He''ll get like for like until he reins himself in.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

[quote user="Paul Cluckbert "]As I regularly remind you... I don''t expect any thanks for playing my not inconsiderable part in changing things round at Carrow Road.That''s just the way it is..... [/quote]Eh ? When was that then ?The last time I checked the majority shareholders were still your despised Delia/MWJ amply surrounded by their drooling luvvies and tens of thousands of happy-clappy zombie season ticket holders........

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
[quote user="......and Smith must score."][quote user="Paul Cluckbert "]As I regularly remind you... I don''t expect any thanks for playing my not inconsiderable part in changing things round at Carrow Road.That''s just the way it is..... [/quote]Eh ? When was that then ?The last time I checked the majority shareholders were still your despised Delia/MWJ amply surrounded by their drooling luvvies and tens of thousands of happy-clappy zombie season ticket holders........[/quote]As the PURISTS are a secret organisation you can hardly expect me to reveal events which have taken place....All will be revealed in the fullness of time... and we will still not expect any thanks for it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
[quote user="itstheruddyfuture"]

Go off and get hit by a bus, I''ll send flowers.[/quote]I wouldn''t.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Cluck luv, your response was priceless. Gotta hand it to ya, taking sole responsibility for the turnaround, what a retort but thanks for accepting my words of reality.

Europe next goal.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
[quote user="shefcanary"]Cluck luv, your response was priceless. Gotta hand it to ya, taking sole responsibility for the turnaround, what a retort but thanks for accepting my words of reality.

Europe next goal.[/quote]While the hands of a clock may tell the time... it''s the cogs in the machine that move them.Scepticism is expected... thanks isn''t.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

[quote user="Harry"][quote user="itstheruddyfuture"] Go off and get hit by a bus, I''ll send flowers.[/quote]

I wouldn''t.
[/quote]

Me neither Harry. All we need is a full bladder[;)]

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
[quote user="nutty nigel"]

[quote user="Harry"][quote user="itstheruddyfuture"] Go off and get hit by a bus, I''ll send flowers.[/quote]

I wouldn''t.
[/quote]

Me neither Harry. All we need is a full bladder[;)]

 

[/quote]

 

Bit of a habit of yours that, eh nigel.

 

Remember Gorleston yacht pond?

 

[;)]

 

Come on you yellows!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
[quote user="itstheruddyfuture"]Ho Ho Ho - That''s all you''ve got isn''t it?

Bile poured upon bile.

Go off and get hit by a bus, I''ll send flowers.[/quote]Are you actually really that thick?Mmmm?  Mmmm?  Mmmm?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...