OT - I need some help with banta

[Yella Foreva 0]

Hi all

My old man was copied into this e-mail from an Ipswich fan. We are obviously going to reply back but we want to make sure he gets knocked down with no chance of getting back up so i thought i would ask everyone to chip in with their bit.

The e-mail was rather leamely emailed to : paul.lambert@canarytossers.com

Paul,

Well done sir, the plan is all going nicely, but let us first recap to ensure our schedule remains on track :

1 – Get all the canary faithful off to a good start, raise spirits, and win more than your fair share of games. Done

2 – Spend very little money, making everybody believe you are a managerial genius, and the man to watch in the Championship. Done

3 – Delia to introduce a new pancake skillet, just to put some more coffers in the pot, which she will keep, and fail to invest. Done

4 – Avoid the usual Boxing day crash in form, raising the question if this really will be the year. Done

5 – Continue your run of good form until it really matters, and then start having some wobbles. In Progress

6 – Drop out of the top two places just when it counts the most, and fall into a bitter play off battle. To Be Confirmed

7 – Fail miserably in the play offs, getting knocked out by Leeds, to add insult to injury, destroying the dreams of the canary faithful for yet another year. Oh how we wait……..

Finally, well done yesterday for allowing brother Tamas Priskin ( On Loan From Town ) to penetrate your feeble defense for the third, nice touch Paul, that was the icing on the cake for us, on what was a glorious day all around.

Come on guys lets get a good reply back.

[The Butler 0]

15 The number of points we have more than you

17 the better goal difference.

15 the number of players better than yours

4 The number of goals we put past your keeper.

Leeds followed us last year and will again this!

Brother Tamas Priskin. Brother/Father/Cousin/Sister can you tell the difference?

 

[Hard Cell 0]

Best thing is not to reply.  Its done for a reaction so the best way to get back at an attention seeker/p**s taker is to rise above it and move on and let our hopefully continued success be the answer.  However, if we go up then go attention seeking big time yourself enclosing the email for reference with picture of a face with egg on it?!

[Captain Fantastic 0]

Put, my necks been getting sore looking so far down that table to see where you are.

[Pinks 0]

I am sorry to have to burst your bubble and drag you back in to the real world but putting your fantasies to one side and dealing with facts allows me to reply thus:

743 - The percentage rise in your rent payable to Ipswich Borough Council. Don''t you own your ground?

111,000 - Your annual rent. Council tennants!

21 - Players out of contract at the end of the season. Would you really want to play for Ipswich Town?

15 - Points behind Norwich City

11 - Places behind Norwich City

4 - Goals conceded to Norwich City in the last Derby match.

21,063 - Season tickets sold by Norwich City

14,000 - Season tickets sold by Ipswich Town.

25,267 Norwich City''s average 2010/11 attendances.

19,308 Ipswich Town''s average 2010/11 attendances.

21 - Goals scored by Grant Holt.

3 - Goals scored by Grant Holt in the last derby match. He''s scored two hatricks this year you know.

1 - There''s only one Grant Holt.

[Jem 0]

[quote user="Hard Cell"]Best thing is not to reply.  Its done for a reaction so the best way to get back at an attention seeker/p**s taker is to rise above it and move on and let our hopefully continued success be the answer.  However, if we go up then go attention seeking big time yourself enclosing the email for reference with picture of a face with egg on it?![/quote]

Agree with this wholeheartedly - don''t rise to the bait nd quietly go about our business

[mikewalker 0]

Simply send this link:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/fe/Fingers_and_thumb_in_circle_downward_motion.jpg

[mikewalker 0]

PS the word ''banter''; its a proper twat of a word and only upstaged by the even bigger twat of a word ''banta''. Stop using it and/or associating with people who use it, eh?

 

[Yella Foreva 0]

Thanks everyone for your input, much appreciated.

PS - Mikewalker, thanks for the spelling advice, i will be sure to remember it next time. Am i right in thinking that you feel people who use the word "banter" are below you? Hope i read it wrong.

[mikewalker 0]

[quote user="Yella Foreva"]Thanks everyone for your input, much appreciated. PS - Mikewalker, thanks for the spelling advice, i will be sure to remember it next time. Am i right in thinking that you feel people who use the word "banter" are below you? Hope i read it wrong.[/quote]

 

Not beneath me, they just remind me of Tim ''Ramones T-shirt'' Lovejoy and his ill-fated "Banter-Pit"

A dreadful human being.