Friday Time!!

[The Butler 0]

Appropriate :-

Q:  How many internet mail list subscribers does it take
    to change a light bulb?

A:  1,331:

1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light
bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light
bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.

53 to flame the spell checkers

156 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb
discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list.

41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.

109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take
this email exchange to alt.light.bulb

203 to demand that cross posting to alt.grammar, alt.spelling and
alt.punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped.

111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs
and therefore the posts **are** relevant to this mail list.

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to
buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this
technique, and what brands are faulty.

27 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly, and to post corrected URLs.

3 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this
list which makes light bulbs relevant to this list.

33 to concatenate all posts to date, then quote them including all headers
and footers, and then add "Me Too."

12 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot
handle the light bulb controversey.

19 to quote the "Me Too''s" to say, "Me Three."

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.

1 to propose new alt.change.light.bulb newsgroup.

47 to say this is just what alt.physic.cold_fusion was meant for, leave
it here.

143 votes for alt.lite.bulb.

[Pabs 0]

Long. Painful.

[Lord Flashheart 0]

A girl once told me she was looking for a "friend with benefits". I sent her to the DSS.http://instantrimshot.com/

[The Butler 0]

[quote user="Pabs"]Long. Painful.[/quote]

I take it that linked with your letter you are having a bad day!!

There there never mind[:D]

[dhickl 0]

[quote user="The Butler"]

Appropriate :-

Q:  How many internet mail list subscribers does it take
    to change a light bulb?

A:  1,331:

1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light
bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light
bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.

53 to flame the spell checkers

156 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb
discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list.

41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.

109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take
this email exchange to alt.light.bulb

203 to demand that cross posting to alt.grammar, alt.spelling and
alt.punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped.

111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs
and therefore the posts **are** relevant to this mail list.

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to
buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this
technique, and what brands are faulty.

27 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly, and to post corrected URLs.

3 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this
list which makes light bulbs relevant to this list.

33 to concatenate all posts to date, then quote them including all headers
and footers, and then add "Me Too."

12 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot
handle the light bulb controversey.

19 to quote the "Me Too''s" to say, "Me Three."

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.

1 to propose new alt.change.light.bulb newsgroup.

47 to say this is just what alt.physic.cold_fusion was meant for, leave
it here.

143 votes for alt.lite.bulb.

[/quote]That''s wrong it''s 1,332.  You forgot

1 Banana to say ''[Y]''

[Joanna Grey 0]

Someone wake up the two old guys in the box...

[Pabs 0]

Maybe I am having a bad day, our fridge-freezer broke this morning. 1 month out of 2 year guarantee.

Still, your joke was pretty painful.

[Wings of a Sparrow 1,708]

A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds. The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more.

Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before, she took a tissue and wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before.

Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, "I couldn''t help but notice that you''ve sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you OK?"

"I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm."

The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious.

"I''ve never heard of that condition before" he said. "Are you taking anything for it?"

The woman nodded, "Pepper."

[YankeeCanary 0]

A doctor from Israel says: "In Israel the medicine
is so advanced that we cut off a man''s testicles,
we put it into another man and in 6 weeks he is
looking for work"

The German doctor comments:"That''s nothing, in
Germany we take part of the brain out from a
person, we put it into another person''s head and
in 4 weeks he is looking for work"

A Russian doctor says: That''s nothing either. In
Russia we take out half of the heart out from a
person, we put it into another person''s chest and
in 2 weeks he is looking for work.

The US doctor answers immediately: That''s nothing
colleagues, you are way behind us....in the USA
(just over a year ago) we grabbed a person with no
brains, no heart and no balls....we put him in as
President and now....the whole country is looking
for work!!!!!

[Lord Flashheart 0]

At work today I found myself wondering whether a customer was pregnant or not. Turns out he was just fat.http://instantrimshot.com/

[I am a Banana 0]

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall

So the ref booked him [:P]

[Woman in the Stands (WITS) 0]

 A white-haired

man walked into a jewellery store one Friday evening

with a beautiful young blonde at his side.

He told the jeweller he was looking for a special ring for his

girlfriend.

The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000

ring. The old man said, "No, I''d like to see something more special."

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought

another ring over. "Here''s a stunning ring at only $40,000," he said.

The young lady''s eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with

excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We''ll take it."

The jeweler asked how payment would

be made and the old man stated, "By check. I know

you need to make sure my check clears so I''ll write

it now, and you can call the bank on Monday morning

to verify the funds and I''ll pick the ring up on

Monday afternoon," he said.. 

On Monday morning, the jeweller ''phoned the old man and

said "Sir, there''s no money in that account." 

"I know," said the old man, "but let me tell you about my

weekend!"