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Montgomery Bumpkin

David Nielsen - the man, the legend

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Another post about City''s best ever Jonny Foriegner got me thinking.

He might have been useless as soon as we signed him up permanently BUT....

From "Flown the Nest"

...In May 2004, David was embroiled in a gambling scandal along with AB''s keeper Jimmy Nielson. David''s name was splashed across the front pages of Denmark''s national newspapers after his new club admitted at a press conference that their star striker and long-serving goalkeeper had accumulated debts of 1.6 million Danish krona (£160,000) with a local betting shop. So big was the pair''s level of credit with the Aalborg bookies, the shop was forced to close for three weeks until the outstanding debts were cleared.

It was claimed the two players'' interest in betting on football doubles (predicting the full-time scores of two games) were behind the shop''s closure, and the board of directors at Aalborg decided to name and shame the pair, as well as setting up counselling sessions on gambling problems. The club stressed that they had not done anything illegal but that counselling sessions would be provided to help identify any gambling addictions. At the time, David Nielsen was Aalborg''s second top scorer this season with six goals from his 22 appearances and with the club fifth in the table, their Director of Sport Lynge Jacobsen is more than happy with the pair''s efforts on the pitch. "Both of them have performed well and I do not believe that their playing has been detrimentally affected," said Jacobsen.

David was sacked by Aalborg in mid-February 2005 after assaulting a team-mate during training. Midfielder Allan Gaarde was left with concussion after reportedly being punched in the face by Nielsen in an ugly bust-up on Monday 14th February. The attack left Aalborg with little option but to effectively sack their star striker who was their top scorer with eight goals from his 21 Aalborg outings this season. Aalborg announced Nielsen''s sacking in an official statement on their web-site with Gaarde claiming he has no recollection of the incident at all after being knocked out by Nielsen''s flying fist.

In November 2008, Nielsen admitted match-fixing, throwing a game on purpose when his side AaB played FC Copenhagen in May 2004. Nielsen''s motivation to cheat came from massive gambling debts...

They just don''t make ''em like that anymore!

I hate these squeaky clean anodyne modern footballers. DN was a last hurrah for proper old school gambling, fugting, womanising, boozing players.

David Neilsen, we salute you!

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I loved DN when he played for us. Very rarely has a player scrapped for absolutely everything. Pretty quick as well from what I recall, and had an excellent relationship with the fans.

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I liked him in the ''Airplane'' and ''The Naked Gun'' movies....His daughter is that leggy peroxide Brigitte, that was once married to Sly Stone.

He must be getting on a bit now, as he was in that old Sci-Fi classic ''The Forbidden Planet'' and that was made in the Fifties....

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[quote user="Mello Yello"]

I liked him in the ''Airplane'' and ''The Naked Gun'' movies....His daughter is that leggy peroxide Brigitte, that was once married to Sly Stone.

He must be getting on a bit now, as he was in that old Sci-Fi classic ''The Forbidden Planet'' and that was made in the Fifties....

[/quote]

May I add, that it wasn''t Sly Stone that was in ''The Forbidden Planet'' but Mr Nielsen.....Sly Stone is the ageing actor that now has his chin on his forehead after extensive cosmetic surgery - and is currently filming ''Rocky 29'' followed by a remake of ''Jurassic Rambo''...

(I also understand that Brigitte''s boobs contain more plastic than the guttering on my large detached house and twin garage). 

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[quote user="Montgomery Bumpkin"]Yeah, me too. I went off him slightly when he became a gay serial killer though.[/quote]

Yeah, he battered his victims to death with his pair of Kellogs (not my favourite cereal).....Strange, I always thought Nielsen was Danish not Dutch....Wonder why he wore Kellogs? I think they''re uncomfortable footwear, maybe he pretended he was Dutch so Detective Van Der Valk thought it was a Dutchman wearing pink wooden Kellogs - who was the actual gay cereal killer?

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He really was a bizarre player.

Excellent when on loan, but shockingly poor after we signed him on a permanent.

Also, utterly useless at heading the ball. He jumped far too early, every time!

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[quote user="Mello Yello"]

I liked him in the ''Airplane'' and ''The Naked Gun'' movies....His daughter is that leggy peroxide Brigitte, that was once married to Sly Stone.

He must be getting on a bit now, as he was in that old Sci-Fi classic ''The Forbidden Planet'' and that was made in the Fifties....

[/quote]

Lol!

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More gold on the man, the legend....

By April 2004, David Nielsen and fellow AaB teammate Jimmy Nielsen had raked up a debt of €201,000 with bookmakers in Aalborg.[9] AaB director Lynge Jacobsen decided to help out financially and arranged for gambling addiction counselling.

In his 2008 autobiography, Nielsen admitted playing to deliberately lose a Superliga match between AaB and his former club F.C. Copenhagen in May 2004. As AaB had lost the Danish Cup final to F.C. Copenhagen earlier that year, winning the Superliga would propel F.C. Copenhagen into the UEFA Champions League and hand their UEFA Cup-berth as the Danish Cup winners on to the losing finalists from AaB. Nielsen was also motivated by his gambling debts,[10] as UEFA Cup qualification would wield him a personnal DKK300,000 bonus.[11] AaB and F.C. Copenhagen drew the match, and F.C. Copenhagen eventually won the 2003-04 Superliga championship by one point.

In February 2005, Nielsen was sacked by AaB when he physically attacked team-mate Allan Gaarde during a training session, leaving him with a concussion.[9] Nielsen later explained in his autobiography that Gaarde was "pretentious... talking loudly about wine in Italian. "I told him: ''The next time you speak Italian I will break you in half. You''re not f***ing Italian - you spent eight months there.'' So when he did it again I decided to break his shitting legs like sticks. I jumped at him and bang. Jackpot. Felt good."

As young people woul dsay - respect, innit!

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His autobiography is entitled "Sorte Svin" (or Black Pig!) and it''s publisher blurb states:

 Soccer player David Nielsen (b. 1976) recounts his SOCCER play with scandal, brawl and excesses of nightlife and a host of other things from the professional football world back stage

Sounds a fascinating read!

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It must be a Danish thing.

Steeno used to organise underground bare-knuckle boxing fights near where I live and on one occasion he urinated on my lawn in broad daylight. As he walked off he said "Jackpot. Felt good."

I didn''t make a fuss cos he was a legend.

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Henrik Mortensen was actually made of lego...but he had more bricks in his right leg than his left...which gave him his characteristic gait and the nickname ''Pisa'' in the dressing room.

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