With the World Cup coming up it's important you read this...

[First Wazzock 706]

Dear Wife/Sweetheart/Girlfriend/Partner/Whomever it may concern

 

 

1	Between the 11th of June and the 11th of July 2010 you should read the Sports Section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the world of soccer, and in that way you will be able to join in the conversations.  If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored.  DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
2	During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions.  If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).
3	If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don’t mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me.
4	During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat.  You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell on the floor … it won’t happen.
5	It would be a good idea for you to keep at least two six-packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on (excluding your body parts), and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games.  In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12.00 am and 6.00 am unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
6	Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say “get over it, it’s only a game”, or “don’t worry, they’ll win next time”.  If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less.  Remember, you will never, ever know more about football than me and your so-called ‘words of encouragement’ will only lead to a break-up or divorce.
7	You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during half time, but only when the commercials are on, and only if the half time score is pleasing me.  In addition, please note I am saying “one game”; hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to ‘spend time together’.
8	The replays of the goals are very important.  I don’t care if I have seen them or I haven’t seen them, I want to see them again, many times.
9	Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child-related parties or gatherings that require my attendance because: a)     I will not go, b)     I will not go, and c)      I will not go.
10	But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
11	The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves.  Do not even think about saying, “but you have already seen this … why don’t you change the channel to something we can all watch?” because the reply will be, “refer to rule number two of this list”.
12	And finally, please save your expressions such as “thank God the World Cup is only every four years”.  I am immune to these words, because before and after this comes the Champions League, the Premier League, the Italian League, the Spanish League and the FA Cup etc.

 

PS By the way, if you get stuck on the road, call the Police or the AA.

 

Thank you for your co-operation.

[city-till-i-die 7]

Brilliant lmfao....i hope this doesnt get removed for being too offensive[;)]

These should and must be made LAW!!!

[First Wazzock 706]

Sorry the numbers don''t quite line up (don''t know what happened there), but with a bit of careful reading...[;)]

[Methane 0]

And the top two shelves in the fridge are NOT fpr food . If you must eat salad buy it as you need it and leave room for the beer

[Wembley_Canary 0]

31 days until male ecstasy, it''s gonne be good! [:P]

http://www.earthtv.com/en/program/world-cup-countdown

[Woman in the Stands (WITS) 0]

I like ''whomever it may concern'' as I don''t have a wife or a girlfriend [;)]You need a bigger fridge Methane!Alternatively, just get a fridge for your beer [B]

[Wembley_Canary 0]

That''s what my Stella Husky fridge is for. [:)]

[Methane 0]

You know what they say WITS

Small fridge... big freezer.

The beer may be warm but the ice box is always full.

Now get back to your baking

[Woman in the Stands (WITS) 0]

Funnily enough Methane I baked brownies, mini muffins and cookies earlier! You been talking to citd as he has a habit of telling me to do something I''ve already done? lolMy beer is always in the fridge [Y]

[Methane 0]

I won''t follow the obvious line about brownies and mini muffins, but Andy Williams and the bear are on their way to your house.

[Woman in the Stands (WITS) 0]

That''s fine as I have plenty to share [:P]Besides my brownies are damned good - ask anyone who''s eaten them

[Inch High aka Inchy.. 309]

 

I prefer a muffin.[;)]

[First Wazzock 706]

[quote user="IncH_HigH 2"]

 

I prefer a muffin.[;)]

[/quote]

Did you know that Muffin the mule is highly illegal. [:O]

[Inch High aka Inchy.. 309]

[quote user="First Wazzock"][quote user="IncH_HigH 2"]

 

I prefer a muffin.[;)]

[/quote]

Did you know that Muffin the mule is highly illegal. [:O]

[/quote]

I tried once but kept gagging on the strings.[+o(]

[Woman in the Stands (WITS) 0]

[quote user="IncH_HigH 2"]

 

I prefer a muffin.[;)]

[/quote]And my muffins are yummy too [;)]

[First Wazzock 706]

[quote user="IncH_HigH 2"][quote user="First Wazzock"][quote user="IncH_HigH 2"]

 

I prefer a muffin.[;)]

[/quote]

Did you know that Muffin the mule is highly illegal. [:O]

[/quote]

I tried once but kept gagging on the strings.[+o(]

[/quote]

LMAO, this will go right over the head of many. [:D]

[Inch High aka Inchy.. 309]

[quote user="First Wazzock"][quote user="IncH_HigH 2"][quote user="First Wazzock"][quote user="IncH_HigH 2"]

 

I prefer a muffin.[;)]

[/quote]

Did you know that Muffin the mule is highly illegal. [:O]

[/quote]

I tried once but kept gagging on the strings.[+o(]

[/quote]

LMAO, this will go right over the head of many. [:D]

[/quote]

Nana will be along soon to ask what it means.[:D]

[city-till-i-die 7]

[quote user="Woman in the Stands WITS"]Funnily enough Methane I baked brownies, mini muffins and cookies earlier! You been talking to citd as he has a habit of telling me to do something I''ve already done? lol

My beer is always in the fridge [Y]
[/quote]Please do stop babbling woman...there must be some hoovering or dusting that you could be getting on with[;)]  

P.S  i have PMd you my address for a doggy bag of those Brownies,muffins and Cookies to be sent[Y] lol

[city-till-i-die 7]

[quote user="Woman in the Stands WITS"][quote user="IncH_HigH 2"]

 

I prefer a muffin.[;)]

[/quote]

And my muffins are yummy too [;)]
[/quote]is this a accurate report from anyone that has eatin it???? i mean them[;)]

[First Wazzock 706]

[quote user="city-till-i-die"][quote user="Woman in the Stands WITS"][quote user="IncH_HigH 2"]

 

I prefer a muffin.[;)]

[/quote]

And my muffins are yummy too [;)]
[/quote]is this a accurate report from anyone that has eatin it???? i mean them[;)][/quote]

I say....[:O]

[Woman in the Stands (WITS) 0]

[quote user="First Wazzock"][quote user="citytillidie"][quote user="Woman in the Stands WITS"][quote user="IncH_HigH 2"]

 

I prefer a muffin.[;)]

[/quote]And my muffins are yummy too [;)][/quote]is this a accurate report from anyone that has eatin it???? i mean them[;)][/quote]

I say....[:O]

[/quote]Sorry for encouraging ctid to be incorrigable. I''m really an [A] honest lolctid - didn''t get the PM - you sure you sent it to the right person. You could end up with the wrong kind of brownies [;)]

[city-till-i-die 7]

[quote user="Woman in the Stands WITS"][quote user="First Wazzock"][quote user="citytillidie"][quote user="Woman in the Stands WITS"][quote user="IncH_HigH 2"]

 

I prefer a muffin.[;)]

[/quote]

And my muffins are yummy too [;)]
[/quote]is this a accurate report from anyone that has eatin it???? i mean them[;)][/quote]

I say....[:O]

[/quote]

Sorry for encouraging ctid to be incorrigable. I''m really an [A] honest lol

ctid - didn''t get the PM - you sure you sent it to the right person. You could end up with the wrong kind of brownies [;)]
[/quote]ewwww [+o(] lol     [A]ummmmmm  more like....[6]

[Woman in the Stands (WITS) 0]

[quote user="city-till-i-die"][quote user="Woman in the Stands WITS"][quote user="First Wazzock"][quote user="citytillidie"][quote user="Woman in the Stands WITS"][quote user="IncH_HigH 2"]

 

I prefer a muffin.[;)]

[/quote]And my muffins are yummy too [;)][/quote]is this a accurate report from anyone that has eatin it???? i mean them[;)][/quote]

I say....[:O]

[/quote]Sorry for encouraging ctid to be incorrigable. I''m really an [A] honest lolctid - didn''t get the PM - you sure you sent it to the right person. You could end up with the wrong kind of brownies [;)][/quote]ewwww [+o(] lol     [A]ummmmmm  more like....[6][/quote]Ok, how about an [A] with a slightly dislodged halo?

[First Wazzock 706]

[quote user="city-till-i-die"][quote user="Woman in the Stands WITS"][quote user="First Wazzock"][quote user="citytillidie"][quote user="Woman in the Stands WITS"][quote user="IncH_HigH 2"]

 

I prefer a muffin.[;)]

[/quote]

And my muffins are yummy too [;)]
[/quote]is this a accurate report from anyone that has eatin it???? i mean them[;)][/quote]

I say....[:O]

[/quote]

Sorry for encouraging ctid to be incorrigable. I''m really an [A] honest lol

ctid - didn''t get the PM - you sure you sent it to the right person. You could end up with the wrong kind of brownies [;)]
[/quote]ewwww [+o(] lol     [A]ummmmmm  more like....[6][/quote]

NURSE !!!

The screens for CITD

[First Wazzock 706]

...or CTID even !!!