Just for a laugh please comment!

[NCFC for life 1993- 0]

Your task! (unrealistic but I can dream)

How would you sell yourself to Paul Lambert , who is looking for new players for next season and is too busy to see you in a trial at Colney, but will do telephone interviews for the vacant squad postions for next season?

 

I would probably say the following: Hi PAul! You should sign me because, I have the balance and speed of Mcnamee but can use both feet (!), I more than match hoolahan for height, standing a massive 5ft 7 but I can play that defence splitting through ball every time. I have the looks of Lappin and will always give 110% all game every game. My downside is unlike your players I have a fitness issue but I am working on it as I am currently training for the 2 mile Community fun run we have in two weeks and have cut down my visits to the local mcdonalds. Please sign me!

OTBC!!!

[blahblahblah 2]

I''d ask him if he had any filing he needed doing.  Not really a sporty bloke, y''see, and my knees are gorn.

[G 0]

Hello my name is Lionel Messi you might have heard of me. Should be enough.

[morty 0]

Hello Mr Lambert,I''m 42, have done my cruciate twice in my left knee, am developing a nice little wine belly and I would exercise more but I just can''t be arsed any more. But I''m fairly sure I could contribute more than Tudor Jones does or score more than Cureton did.RegardsMorty(Happy to play left side midfield or up front)

[lappinitup 629]

Hi Mr Lambert. Smudger thinks I''m plop just like he did with Hoolahan, Nelson, The Doc, Rose and R. Martin. I think this merits a contract!

[CharlieFarlie 0]

[quote user="morty"]Hello Mr Lambert,

I''m 42, have done my cruciate twice in my left knee, am developing a nice little wine belly and I would exercise more but I just can''t be arsed any more. But I''m fairly sure I could contribute more than Tudor Jones does or score more than Cureton did.

Regards

Morty

(Happy to play left side midfield or up front)
[/quote]

 

Morty are you and I related ?, same injury but right knee , and my wine belly is coming on a treat ! [:)]

[morty 0]

[quote user="CharlieFarlie"]

[quote user="morty"]Hello Mr Lambert,I''m 42, have done my cruciate twice in my left knee, am developing a nice little wine belly and I would exercise more but I just can''t be arsed any more. But I''m fairly sure I could contribute more than Tudor Jones does or score more than Cureton did.RegardsMorty(Happy to play left side midfield or up front)[/quote]

 

Morty are you and I related ?, same injury but right knee , and my wine belly is coming on a treat ! [:)]

[/quote]Perhaps a clever scientist can use a good leg from each of us and create some kind of super footballer?

[CharlieFarlie 0]

[quote user="morty"][quote user="CharlieFarlie"]

[quote user="morty"]Hello Mr Lambert,

I''m 42, have done my cruciate twice in my left knee, am developing a nice little wine belly and I would exercise more but I just can''t be arsed any more. But I''m fairly sure I could contribute more than Tudor Jones does or score more than Cureton did.

Regards

Morty

(Happy to play left side midfield or up front)
[/quote]

 

Morty are you and I related ?, same injury but right knee , and my wine belly is coming on a treat ! [:)]

[/quote]

Perhaps a clever scientist can use a good leg from each of us and create some kind of super footballer?
[/quote]

 

Not unless he can get rid of our wine bumps as well [;)]

[The gut 0]

I can sit on a bench, I''m prepared to sit on the bench, I''ll do it for a lot less than any of the current squad, I can prat about at half time on the pitch, I can also help him with team selection and give them pep talks. I''d also expect to score more than Laps this season.

[KCASN 0]

Id say Paul...I love you! Let me show you what I got (show him a few videos of me smashing in some goals from 35 yeards on Frinton Greensward)

He''d sign me up no problem...I''ve always loved the Scots!

[The gut 0]

[quote user="The Shack Is Back"]Id say Paul...I love you! Let me show you what I got (show him a few videos of me smashing in some goals from 35 yeards on Frinton Greensward) He''d sign me up no problem...I''ve always loved the Scots![/quote]

Are you gay? There were plenty of rumours about Shacks as well.

[freddyf105 0]

Hi Paul,

I''m a slighty less fit version of Steve Fletcher down at Bournemouth- say''s it all really [:''(]