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The Butler

Another Friday

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Have a good day all[:D]

 

WRONG E-MAIL ADDRESS


A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!!!!

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a
particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where
they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel
schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on
Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so
he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left
out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error,
sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from
her husband''s funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory
following a heart attack.

The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives
and friends. After reading the first message, she gasped and fainted.

The widow''s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and
saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I''ve Arrived
Date: October 16, 2008

I know you'' re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now
and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I''ve just arrived
and have been checked in.

I''ve seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you then! !!! Hope your journey is as
uneventful as mine was.

P. S. Sure is freaking hot down here!!!!

 

The Bathtub Test
 During a visit to the mental asylum, Beau asked the director how do you
 determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
 "Well," said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a
teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to
Empty the bathtub."
 "Oh, I understand," Beau said. "A normal person would use the bucket
because it''s bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
 "No." said the director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you
want a bed near the window?"

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What did the slug say to the snail?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Big issue"

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A guy dies and goes to heaven where he meets St Peter at the gate.  He notices that either side of the gates is a wall which goes on into infinity and on the wall are millions of clocks.  What are those he asks.  Every one in the world has a clock, says St Peter, it starts at 12 O''clock and moves on one minute for every lie that is told.   Oh says the man so who does that belong to, pointing to a clock at 12O''clock.  That was mother Teresa, she never told a lie in her life.  Pointing to a clock at 2 minutes past he said that belongs to Abraham Lincoln, he only told two lies.   That one over there, pointing to a clock at five minutes past, belongs to President Obama, as you can see he has been a honest politician.  In that case said the man where is Gordon Brown''s clock.  Oh thats in Gods office he uses it as a ceiling fan!!!!

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It appears that there has been some objection to the Friday joke thread that I have started for the cheering up of and amusement of my fellow posters.

You may (or may not)have noticed that this weeks has been removed this evening.

On another website one frequenter of this site has raised this as objectionable and a reason why the Pinkun site has "gone down hill".

It has never been my intention to offend anybody but obviously I will not be starting this thread in the future as some persons of the PC variety(in this instance Jetstream) have found it "against the rules of the forum" and have used it as a form of critisism of this forum.

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[quote user="Norwich"]Owww! I looked forward to them every week! Do you have a web to get them from?[/quote]

No just arrive from a lot of friends world wide.

That''s why I liked to share them.

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Oh well, I guess we can''t be having fun or anything like that on here.If some of the genuinely offensive and idiotic posts (and posters, come to that) were removed rather than harmless jokes which give the majority on here much amusement then the Pink ''un would be a better place.

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[quote user="The Butler"]

It appears that there has been some objection to the Friday joke thread that I have started for the cheering up of and amusement of my fellow posters.

You may (or may not)have noticed that this weeks has been removed this evening.

On another website one frequenter of this site has raised this as objectionable and a reason why the Pinkun site has "gone down hill".

It has never been my intention to offend anybody but obviously I will not be starting this thread in the future as some persons of the PC variety(in this instance Jetstream) have found it "against the rules of the forum" and have used it as a form of critisism of this forum.

[/quote]I also look forward for this thread every Friday. Why dont you post it in the Its not just football forum.Maybe some of you can join in the longest ever thread in the pinkun website...... Last one to reply wins...http://www.pinkun.com/cs_pinkun/cs/forums/998745/ShowPost.aspx

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Apologies, only meant to remove the first one after a few complaints, not the whole thing. Let''s see if I can join the dots...

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Great shame that.I was one of many i''m sure, that looked forward to the jokes from Butler, Wazzock... etc. on Fridays.Thought they were superb, and to be honest there isn''t much written on this forum i value more while reading.[:(]

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Butler

I have read and watched this for a while. Great shame that humour is no longer allowed. Personally I blame the EU with their "Dictats Against Joviality aAct," proposed by the honorable member for Hamburg, Herr Glum and supported by the Belgium Seriousfraud.

Never mind, acording to EU legislation the joke quota and range is to be reviewed under EU reg 19877652345 in 2010 with the intent of allowing free and fair exchage of humour between the borders of member Nations of the EU

Just Friday will be able to resume unapposed at this point

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ok heres my cont, and the person who complained can do so again as i dont care !!!!

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn''t find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!" 

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."
 

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Heres another ;)

Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman." 

"Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?"

"When it was over," Mike replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees.

"Really," said Charles, "Now that''s a switch! What did she say?" 

She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken."

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A man goes to the doctor''s with a banana up his nose and a bunch of grapes in each ear.The Doctor looks at him and says "are you sure you''re eating properly?"

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[quote user="The Butler"]

It appears that there has been some objection to the Friday joke thread that I have started for the cheering up of and amusement of my fellow posters.

You may (or may not)have noticed that this weeks has been removed this evening.

On another website one frequenter of this site has raised this as objectionable and a reason why the Pinkun site has "gone down hill".

It has never been my intention to offend anybody but obviously I will not be starting this thread in the future as some persons of the PC variety(in this instance Jetstream) have found it "against the rules of the forum" and have used it as a form of critisism of this forum.

[/quote]Why don''t you start the thread in the ''It''s not just football'' section Butler? There have been plenty of joke threads over there in the past which have contained topics that you might describe as ''un-PC'' without any fuss being made. Personally I find jokes about thick Irishmen very old fashioned and not at all funny but it''s pushing it to describe them as racist IMO.And don''t worry about what users of that other website think about us. I''ve visited it a couple of times and although it seems a little more civilized than this place it also seems incredibly dull and sanitised. The constant carping about the Pink ''Un (or the Oink ''Un as one user who used to post here has referred to us as last time I was browsing) is also pretty undignified for a group of people who seem to want to claim the moral high ground.Keep posting Butler and I''ll try and think of an amusing joke by next week [:D]

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Thanks Guys and Pete for the restore.

It seems the joke in question was the call center one as this was highlighted by another poster as offensive. (though not intended as such).

I think that to keep the Friday tradition to jokes that have race creed colour type sexual orientation and blondes all removed may leave a lot of blanks.

As an example did you hear the one about the ******* who **** and *****

Oh sorry that could be deemed offensive to the French as Asterix came from Gaul!![;)]

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[quote user="The Butler"]

Thanks Guys and Pete for the restore.

It seems the joke in question was the call center one as this was highlighted by another poster as offensive. (though not intended as such).

I think that to keep the Friday tradition to jokes that have race creed colour type sexual orientation and blondes all removed may leave a lot of blanks.

As an example did you hear the one about the ******* who **** and *****

Oh sorry that could be deemed offensive to the French as Asterix came from Gaul!![;)]

[/quote]

I have only just realised what has happened to this thread, and I am rather saddened by it.

At the recent PUP''s meet I had a chat with The Butler and Beau about the institution that is, the Friday Joke thread.

I think we all agreed that it should there every week, solely for the purpose of having a laugh and sharing a few funny stories.

Anything we say on the thread is free of racism, ageism and any other form of ism you can name. It''s just humour intended to be laughed at.

Some people don''t like Irish joke because they make Irish people out to be stupid. Well that is not the case, it was an Irishman that invented the toilet seat. An Englishman decided to put a hole in it 20 seconds later, but that is not the point. Other notable Irish inventions include, the ejector seat for the helicoptor and the parachute that opens on impact.

Some people dont like jokes about Scotsmen because they are made out to be mean.

This is also not the case, only last week a judge in Glasgow let this man off from the charge of having sex with a cat, saying, ''it is a well known fact that Scotsmen NEVER put anything into the kitty''.

So there you have it, we are not trying to be racist or offend, but to make you smile.

Web team Pete recognises this and that is why this post is allowed every Friday - even though is is not football related.

If you feel there is a slight chance you will be offended (even though I can assure you that we are not trying to offend), or you have had a sense-of-humour bypass, please do not open this thread on a Friday.

Carry on Butler, you are doing a fine job. [;)]

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[quote user="Shack Attack"][quote user="The Butler"]

It appears that there has been some objection to the Friday joke thread that I have started for the cheering up of and amusement of my fellow posters.

You may (or may not)have noticed that this weeks has been removed this evening.

On another website one frequenter of this site has raised this as objectionable and a reason why the Pinkun site has "gone down hill".

It has never been my intention to offend anybody but obviously I will not be starting this thread in the future as some persons of the PC variety(in this instance Jetstream) have found it "against the rules of the forum" and have used it as a form of critisism of this forum.

[/quote]Why don''t you start the thread in the ''It''s not just football'' section Butler? There have been plenty of joke threads over there in the past which have contained topics that you might describe as ''un-PC'' without any fuss being made. Personally I find jokes about thick Irishmen very old fashioned and not at all funny but it''s pushing it to describe them as racist IMO.And don''t worry about what users of that other website think about us. I''ve visited it a couple of times and although it seems a little more civilized than this place it also seems incredibly dull and sanitised. The constant carping about the Pink ''Un (or the Oink ''Un as one user who used to post here has referred to us as last time I was browsing) is also pretty undignified for a group of people who seem to want to claim the moral high ground.Keep posting Butler and I''ll try and think of an amusing joke by next week [:D][/quote]

Call me stupid, but what''s this other board you talk of? Never realised there was more than one.

(Oh unless you''re talking about Wrath of the Barclay, but surely they''re not more civilised than us?)

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Sorry about that post above, forgot that IE seems unable to handle HTML anymore.

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Haven''t really spent much time on here this weekend so this had bypassed me. While I find it sadly unsurprising given the trend towards making everything deep and meaningful and then objecting to it (and I say that as a Guardian reader of 30 years standing), it really depresses me that it''s come to this. The Friday joke thread is a bit of fun which you are  welcome to dip into or ignore if you chose. It doesn''t claim to be eradicating hunger in Africa or finding a cure for Aids or even reversing global warming. It''s just a bunch of people trying to lighten the day. As Wazzy says, just ignore it if you are easily offended.

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Now I am sorry I missed the jokes, deemed by some to be offensive. Knowing the Butler, I can only imagine what I have missed....lol

Speaking as a woman (and with more than a few drops of Irish blood in me) I can take or leave a joke, in fact as I receive so many at work I will have to circulate them on here as it seems to be the thing to do.

Believe me, posters, we do have to keep all these men of a certain age happy in their retirement!

Beau - fellow Guardian reader, I salute you!

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"Sorry about that post above, forgot that IE seems unable to handle HTML anymore."

It''s not IE''s fault - it''s the forums - can''t handle latest IE or Chrome - Firefox I''m not sure of... despite the bug being present for months, the web team can''t be bothered to fix it. It''s very annoying.

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[quote user="Jez"]Sorry about that post above, forgot that IE seems unable to handle HTML anymore.[/quote]

Hit the compatibility button at the top of the screen (inbetween the web address bar and the refresh button).

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"Hit the compatibility button at the top of the screen (inbetween the web address bar and the refresh button)."

What about users of Chrome?

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[quote user="Sports Desk - Pete"]

[quote user="Jez"]Sorry about that post above, forgot that IE seems unable to handle HTML anymore.[/quote]

Hit the compatibility button at the top of the screen (inbetween the web address bar and the refresh button).

[/quote]If you get one of the technical guys to add the following meta tag to the forum <head> tag, it should force IE7 mode for IE8 browsers:
<meta http-equiv="X-UA-Compatible" content="IE=7">
Depending on whether the forum code is valid or not, you may need to use:
<meta http-equiv="X-UA-Compatible" content="IE=EmulateIE7"/>

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[quote user="First Jedi"]Or they could just fix it for all browsers, rather than patching for one...?[/quote]Well, obviously that goes without saying, but it is not trivial to write a decent cross-browser HTML WYSIWYG editor. Of course, Archant could integrate one of the two decent open source ones, but I was just suggesting a quick 2-minute fix, as opposed to a recode of various parts of the forum.Besides which, you must know the score, Chrome probably has around 2-3% market share (if that), whereas IE and Firefox probably take 80%. I would imagine that there are problems with Safari too, if Chrome doesn''t work, but I''m not sure Archant would really bother spending the money to fix it for a couple of browsers, when the forum is a totally free service. Whether that''s right or wrong doesn''t really come into it I expect...

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They''ll be problems going forward, whatever, and it''s obviously a parsing issue, so the editor could remain untouched, if they got their server side code working...

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[quote user="First Jedi"]They''ll be problems going forward, whatever, and it''s obviously a parsing issue, so the editor could remain untouched, if they got their server side code working...[/quote]Looks to me, that as the Javascript editor isn''t loading, the text is being treated as raw and not parsed at all by the server-side forum. Should really be a simple fix, but it still wouldn''t be pleasant to use under Chrome/IE 8 without a new editor integration.

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