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just a thought

piece of cake.....

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(no, not how to get a fat girl into bed)

September 5th Norwich 0 Walsall 0

My first match of the season, because for me July and August are not for football. For me those are the months of cricket, village fetes and long days pottering about in my small boat in the Norwegian fjords. Football in my village was never played until be bigger boys had gathered the harvest in and put the goal posts up on the village green. So early last week I took my last beers in that bar in Tromso where I first saw Midnight Choir some 20 years ago and set sail for the coast of Norfolk and the goals of Carrow Road.

A slight hint of a cooler autumnal breeze as I approached the ground with a skip in my step, the familiar cry of "The Coors has run out you’ll have to have something else" as thirsty customers swopped from one pint of over priced gnats pee to another. I knew I was back.

Up to my seat 5 minutes before kick off, for the ritual hand shakes and the "Did you have a good summer ?" I looked around to make sure all the members of the "Never Again" gang from the back end of last season were present and correct and to a man (and woman) they were. Optimists all, we gave our best for OTBC and cheered as another bunch of unfamiliar faces ran on to pitch to advertise another product (in a long line of products) that I will never buy.

The kick off, the first half.. I think that sums up all the action of the first 45 minutes during which I my attention kept wandering to the backs of the shirts of the fans. Bright shiny new shirts emblazoned with names like Hoolahan, Stefanovic and "The Doc". Any chance of a refund I wondered ? And then the perplexing sight of shirts with unrecognised names. Are they new players or just the fans own names? But with a squad number too?

A brief chat with 2 youngsters in the row in front and a general consensus: that by now kicking towards the more rewarding River End goal wise it seems, 3 or 4-0 was the most likely outcome of the afternoon endeavours. The second half was clearly a mirror image of the first until the legend that is Sam Parkin turned up for Walsall. Within seconds someone mused whether there were any other footballers, ( if indeed that‘s what we were watching ) had the names of cakes. Trevor Cherry came to mind and Mark Fish added some savoury bite A team was coming together. Ron an old fashioned scouser centre half could have been a key ingredient, but after he failed the medical (a little mixed up and diagnosed with dyslexia, if that’s how you spell it), it was felt that including him would have stretched things. As is usual the back room staff positions were a little easier to fill. Jimmy Seed was the only candidate for manager and although some of his ideas were "half baked" Ted MacDougal was quickly appointed Director of Football. Joan Bakewell is likely to be overworked as of head of P.R, if we let Alan Sugar have a seat on the board as a major investor. The Team will of course be playing at (Home)Pride Park. Now the good news the Chair (Wo)Man will clearly need culinary skills and we are inviting applications from suitable persons. Anybody spring to mind ?

So with the shuffled gait of a forced nag I made my way back to my car. What to make of the team then ? An improvement from the loanees last season? More commitment than from the now departed wantaways ? Early days sure. First impressions always wrong? (although try telling that to Georges Seraut). I turned on the radio, Oh God ! Canary Call and another bunch of " I thought we’d turned the corner Neil’s". Music I needed, and then up popped Steve Fromholz singing " You are a guest in my heart " to remind me of my long term relationship with Norwich City. Come May will they have overstayed their welcome I ventured to suggest to anyone within earshot? For me its not about promotion or even success but how the game is played. Where is the guile, the wit, the passion and the invention?

Will I be back to see them play the O’s? Of course I will, I have fond memories of Brisbane Road and after all I need NCFC more than they need me.

On the way back home I stopped of at my local for a pint of the only good thing to come out of Suffolk and to update the Austrian waiter on the game. With a glint in his eye that reminded me of the glaze on a Viennese Whirl he told he thought there were a pair of strikers who played in the 2nd Bundesliga in 1960’s called Batten and Burg.

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Excellent enjoyable read.

Sums up a complete waste of a Saturday afternoon as far as football was concerned.

Social side still good though.[:D]

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[quote user="royhollis4"]

Interesting. A sort of digital Stuart Hall in our midst.

[/quote]Ha Ha - more like Ron Manager, I''d say [:D]

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My first match of the season, because for me July and August are not for football. For me those are the months of cricket, village fetes and long days pottering about in my small boat in the Norwegian fjords.

Village fetes and Norwegian fjords. I always wondered what a "fjord fiesta" looked like. Cracking read by the way.

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Well if you spend the summer in the Norwegian fjords you are clearly a man of taste and substance and i`m a tad envious....no, scrap that, crazily jealous [:)].  Ever been above the Arctic circle in winter?  Astounding....

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I was just about to call it a day on this un-reasoned, canary call with bad spelling, fickle junk bucket of a site. And then comes a lovely little post like this! Nice one sir. One a week would be good...

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A great match report! The "They began, they had a short break, they finished" summed it up perfectly And the rest was a delight!

 

Davo

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Thank you guys for all your generous posts. Since Saturday I''ve had nothing but verbal kickings from those who I thought were my football chums. "Where were you when we were six nil down and singing?" "You missed the sublime tactical team selections and substitutions." "Since you got back the goals have dried up". " Get back to playing hoopla at your Church Coffee Mornings". So thanks for all your morsels they have been veritable crumbs of comfort to me. But as King Alfred said when he left them in the Aga too long, I''m beginning to think its all my fault.

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I really enjoyed this post and I think we should try to finish the Cake XI.Sam ParkinTrevor CherryMark

Fish

Jimmy Seed - ManagerTed MacDougal -  Director of Football. Joan Bakewell - Majority shareholderAlan Sugar - major investor

Can I offer as squad members:Howard Kendall? (Mint cake)Brett Angel?Craig Forest (Gateau)?

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[quote user="Mister Chops"]I really enjoyed this post and I think we should try to finish the Cake XI.

Sam Parkin
Trevor Cherry
Mark Fish


Jimmy Seed - Manager
Ted MacDougal -  Director of Football.
Joan Bakewell - Majority shareholder
Alan Sugar - major investor


Can I offer as squad members:

Howard Kendall? (Mint cake)
Brett Angel?
Craig Forest (Gateau)?


[/quote]

I think the choice in goal would have to be between Gerry Cakebread (Brentford) or Johnny Hollowbread (Spurs) although I fear this may date me somewhat.[+o(]

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OK Roy this time you''ve gone too far. I spent one evening with a sweet guy in Bergen whose hero was Dennis Van Wijk. We talked and talked and talked about the Milk Cup Final and you were not even there He showed me how to get onto the Pink Un web site and how to " Log In". It was special night, one of the longest I can ever remember. I come back, you come around, and you are wound up as usual. I think we can sort it out and then you stoop this low. I''m baking some Apple Pie Cake for you. Grateful Dead are on the music machine playing " Tore Up", and then you disappear with my cell phone and my laptop which is in mid message.

Help ! I''m beginning to think its all my fault.

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"Roy, Not sure what''s going on here but I think you''ve highjacked my thread. If so can you give it back, please"

well said just a thought. It took some working out what Roy was trying to say, but in the end it all just appeared to be b****cks.

Yours was the best post I have read on here. Please keep it up

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Two excellent posts in a day JAT. Be careful or we''ll be clamouring for a regular contribution from you to entertain us. The thread turned rather surreal in the middle to say the least.

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