The Butler 0 Posted August 21, 2009 Just to cheer up Friday I hope! A Ipswich girl sent an email to an agony Aunt "I am 12 years old and haven''t had sex yet, do you think my brother is queer ?" My missus has just gone into hospital with 2 black eyes and a broken jaw! It seems we were on different wavelengths when she said she wanted decking on the patioSex therapist claim that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears!! Personally I think its bollocks!!They reckon that Beer contains female hormones and I think they areright. After 8 pints I talk shit and can''t driveVicar booking into a hotel asks the receptionist "Is the Porn channel in my room disabled" "No" she replies "its justregular porn you sick bastard"A mate of mine has just told me he''s shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said "her brothers got a moustache!" A biker goes to the Doctor with hearing problems "Can you describethe symptoms to me" "Yes.....Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinnybird with big blue hair!!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Panic 0 Posted August 21, 2009 Ha! I liked that last one. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Barclay hero 0 Posted August 21, 2009 Best post of the day [:)]Who wants to talk football anyway at the moment.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Excited Canary 19 Posted August 21, 2009 Thanks Butler, got my morning off to a great start! :) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lennon7 0 Posted August 21, 2009 Hahahaha brilliant! Cheers for that! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
First Wizard 0 Posted August 21, 2009 A good laugh Butler...............thank you.[Y] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
methcanary 0 Posted August 21, 2009 Cheers Butler, sitting here chuckling to myself, excellent stuff, love the vicar joke. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Henry 0 Posted August 21, 2009 Thanks Butler. Good way to start the day.This place needs more humour like that [Y] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
First Wazzock 902 Posted August 21, 2009 If you don''t laugh at this one, you''re dead!Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors.Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic the other residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined in.One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. ''STOP!,'' he shouted in a firm voice. ''Have you got a license for that thing?'' Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. ''OK'' he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted ''STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?'' Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said ''On your way, Ma''am.''As Ethel neared the final corridor, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, Butt- Naked, and holding his ''You-Know- What'' in his hand. ''Oh, good grief,'' yelled Ethel, ''Not that Damn Breathalyzer Test again.!!!'' Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Davness 0 Posted August 21, 2009 What do you call a man with no shins? Tony... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
