Dear Potential Investors, from

[Canary Pirate 0]

the " Delia Out Brigade "

I thought you would like to know a little about our organisation before you take the plunge and invest in " lil ole Narridge ". Firstly we are a BIG club, we beat Bayern Munich you know, and don''t you forget it ! We have recently been in the premiership and had a great time, we loved Delia and Worthy in those heady days and then we lost  6 - 0 to Fulham and were relegated. What a useless couple of clowns  Delia and Worthy were. Delia had''nt got a clue how to run a football club and Worthy, well he was just the worst manager on the planet.

We wanted him sacked there and then but, oh no, Delia assumed because he took us up to the premiership he could do it again when clearly he had become a terrible manager over night. She just wouldn''t listen to us fans who knew better and kept him on for far too long. Anyway, we kept on with our campaign and following a barrage of personal abuse on these message boards she gave in and sacked the hapless Worthy. She then employed Peter Grant, we took a vote within our organisation and 25% thought it could turn out to be a shrewd appointment, 25% thought it was a big mistake, 25% really were''nt sure and the other 25% did''nt want to be interupted as they were watching Liverpool v Man Utd on Sky TV and did''nt give a shit about Norwich until the game was over.

Well, to cut a long story short Peter Grant turned out to be useless, we told Delia from the outset, but would she listen ? Anyway, she bowed to our pressure and got rid of Granty but we wer''nt happy with that, " We want Delia out, I say we want Delia out ! She just had''nt got a clue how to run a football club " and don''t you start me off on how many millions she''s put in to save our club ! " Anyway, she then employed Glen Roeder as our manager so we then held another vote and 30% thought it could turn out to be a shrewd appointment ( afterall no-one could be as bad as Granty, and at least this guy had some experience ), 20 % thought this was a big mistake, 25 % wer''nt really sure but assured us of their full backing if it all went tits up and the other 25% were moaning because the Sky subscription had recently gone up.

Well all GR wanted to do was get every available loan player on our books and although we saw some interesting characters it never really worked out so it wasn''t long before we wanted him out " and take that bloody clueless Delia with yer ! ". Well, Delia relented, sacked GR but had no intention of going herself, she loved the club far too much. Anyway, she employed legend Bryan Gunn ( legend my foot ) whats he ever done for this club ?, not only that we ended up with Chippy, Butters and Deehan ( the Norwich dream team - dream team my arm, what have they ever done for Norwich ? ) no experience there at all. Our organisation took another vote, 15 % thought it might be a shrewd appointment, 55 % said we might as well have kept GR, 25% couldn''t care less as they no longer went to the football for fear of being branded a " happy clappy ", and 5 % now supported Ipswich Town.

Anyway, despite being relegated Gunny was allowed to assemble his own squad ( and only one loan player ! ), pre-season went pretty good and we were cautiously optimistic, and then we played Colchester and lost 7 - 1 ( thats 7 ( seven ) - 1 ). Well, we told Delia this would''nt work, but would she listen ? All those players Gunny got in - bloody useless, he''s useless, his dream team...absolutely useless, not a clue about footbal, " we want Delia out, I say we want Delia out ! ". Anyway, fair dues to Delia, we got her in a right panic, we then went and won 4 - 0 and then on the eve of the next game, she sacked Gunny, even we were surprised ! Laughed, we nearly pissed ourselves, it''s a right crack running this football club and all the time we lead her to believe she runs it ! Altogether now, " we want Delia out I say, we want Delia out ! "

Anyway, thats about where we are up to at the moment, we''ve had about as much money as we can get out of Delia, I think she''s cottoned on now, so we need new investors. We don''t really want much, we''ll choose the manager for you ( we have votes in our organisation you know ! ) and you''ll only have to worry if it goes tits up, we''ll be right behind you ( if it works, and 5 miles further back if it doesn''t ). We demand success, we expect to be back in the premiership ( where we belong ) within 3 years, and a year later we will expect to be challenging for the title. And another thing, don''t you go listening to those " Happy Clappers ". All they want to do is support the team through thick and thin, no ambition at all, just listen to us, we know absolutely everything about how to run a football club, how to coach, what players to sign, we''ll even let you know how much money you''ll need to spend, you''ll really love it here ! Hello, HELLO...............is there anybody out there with any money.........H E L L O !!! Why is''nt anyone answering ?

 

[scorcher 0]

new investors delia needs to walk the plank, good job it ain''t far from CR to da'' yare, (all cry) YEAH DA YARE, DITCH DA WITCH