Limericks please

[William Darby 0]

Wiz''s favourite is Mr Jeff HardyDon''t mention it or he''ll get mardyHe can remember Big DaddyWhen he was a baddyAnd not so fat and lardy.

[DOGGER 0]

There was an old women from yorkshire

Who took 25 thousand fans to their torture

The best players got sold, the rest were too old

oh what would we do if we caught her?

[. 0]

The was an old woman called Smith.

Who went out on November the fifth.

Some boys put a rocket.

Inside her coat pocket.

And stood around taking the pith.

[canarynotsonew77 0]

[quote user="JuanVelasco"]

There was a crap midfielder from Jockland,

Fotheringham his name and he was bland,

Stormed down the tunnel at Carrow Road,

Stamping his feet in toddler mode,

Now to be seen shopping at Poundland.

[/quote]

Very poor.

[Mister Chops 11]

Neil Doncaster was great at spinning,especially once we stopped winningNow we''re down in league oneBut who cares? we have funwith our restaurants and Holiday Inn-ing.

[Binky 0]

An abrasive manager called Glenn

Was renowned for getting his men

But mostly all loaned, so

"Roeder Out!" the fans moaned

And how he laughed, when paid off

again

 

A half decent player callled Fozz

Was promoted to be the team boss

Too highly paid

And not up to the grade

He was dross - and no big loss

 

The Norwich supporters were flappin''

For goals that just wouldn''t happen

Dead ball sitt-yoo-ashuns

Just weren''t goal creations

Until along came little Simon Lappin!

 

The management team of Gunn

Were slammed before they''d begun

Via the play-offs they came

To the top of their game

And the fans all said "Thank you! - Job

done!"

[First Wazzock 1,016]

A Waveney MP called Bob Blizzard

Had a constituent called 1st Wizard

Don''t talk about sex

Or he''ll set off a hex

And you''ll end up like a lizard.

[JuanVelasco 27]

[quote user="canaryspike7"][quote user="JuanVelasco"]

There was a crap midfielder from Jockland,

Fotheringham his name and he was bland,

Stormed down the tunnel at Carrow Road,

Stamping his feet in toddler mode,

Now to be seen shopping at Poundland.

[/quote]

Very poor.

[/quote]

Alright I get the point now, being told the first two times was more than sufficient thanks.

Or do you want to tell me just one more time? If it really makes you feel better then go for it.

[JuanVelasco 27]

[quote user="JuanVelasco"][quote user="canaryspike7"][quote user="JuanVelasco"]

There was a crap midfielder from Jockland,

Fotheringham his name and he was bland,

Stormed down the tunnel at Carrow Road,

Stamping his feet in toddler mode,

Now to be seen shopping at Poundland.

[/quote]

Very poor.

[/quote]

Alright I get the point now, being told the first two times was more than sufficient thanks.

Or do you want to tell me just one more time? If it really makes you feel better then go for it.

[/quote]

There is a sad man named canaryspike,

at least i think hes a man he could be a dyke,

he comes on here and repeats things thrice,

and very rarely are those things nice,

oh canaryspike please take a hike.

 

 

 

 

 

[JuanVelasco 27]

[quote user="JuanVelasco"][quote user="JuanVelasco"][quote user="canaryspike7"][quote user="JuanVelasco"]

There was a crap midfielder from Jockland,

Fotheringham his name and he was bland,

Stormed down the tunnel at Carrow Road,

Stamping his feet in toddler mode,

Now to be seen shopping at Poundland.

[/quote]

Very poor.

[/quote]

Alright I get the point now, being told the first two times was more than sufficient thanks.

Or do you want to tell me just one more time? If it really makes you feel better then go for it.

[/quote]

There is a sad man named canaryspike,

at least i think hes a man he could be a dyke,

he comes on here and repeats things thrice,

and very rarely are those things nice,

oh canaryspike please take a hike.

[/quote]

The very same man canaryspike,

my limerick he did not like,

but you see he did not write,

his own limerick for me to call sh*te,

so canaryspike "on your bike".

 

 

[lappinitup 629]

A poster we all know as Whittle,

Spent several weeks in hospital,

Having Botox injections,

To help his erections,

''Cos Doris said Arthur was little.

[H]

 

[Mister Chops 11]

[quote user="canaryspike7"]

There was a crap midfielder from Jockland,

Fotheringham his name and he was bland,

Stormed down the tunnel at Carrow Road,

Stamping his feet in toddler mode,

Now to be seen shopping at Poundland.

[/quote]

This wasn''t very good.  [:P]

[JuanVelasco 27]

[quote user="Mister Chops"][quote user="canaryspike7"]

There was a crap midfielder from Jockland,

Fotheringham his name and he was bland,

Stormed down the tunnel at Carrow Road,

Stamping his feet in toddler mode,

Now to be seen shopping at Poundland.

[/quote]

This wasn''t very good.  [:P][/quote]

Bravo [Y]

[Delia Out! 0]

[quote user="Mister Chops"]A right back called Otsemobor
Found set piece defending a chore
As opponents ran past
He just couldn''t be arsed
to stop them from trying to score.


In training, Cureton looked keen,
So Bryan Gunn put him back in the team.
Now I sit in Row Z,
All his shots hit my head
But who cares, he bleeds yellow and green.
[/quote]

They are brilliant!

[canaryfan 0]

How I wish we had Huckerby back

His goals were so valuable in attack

He''d take on the opposition defence one, two, three, four, five

And scare them alive

If anyone knew how to score goals - he had the knack!

[dpit 1]

"I''m feeling perfectly fine

Despite the six glasses of wine"

So Delia said

As pitchwards she sped

To give the fans hell at half time

[CanaryRyan 0]

Sorry JuanVelasco but my god you are bad at these!

[JuanVelasco 27]

[quote user="CanaryRyan"]Sorry JuanVelasco but my god you are bad at these![/quote]

I no buta Ima Spanish anda speaka a little er englesh..... 

[WeAreYellows49 0]

[quote user="lappinitup"]

A poster we all know as Whittle,

Spent several weeks in hospital,

Having Botox injections,

To help his erections,

''Cos Doris said Arthur was little.

[H]

 

[/quote]

LMFAO, there''s some corking limericks on here

[Houston Canary 0]

[quote user="JuanVelasco"][quote user="JuanVelasco"][quote user="canaryspike7"][quote user="JuanVelasco"]

There was a crap midfielder from Jockland,

Fotheringham his name and he was bland,

Stormed down the tunnel at Carrow Road,

Stamping his feet in toddler mode,

Now to be seen shopping at Poundland.

[/quote]

Very poor.

[/quote]

Alright I get the point now, being told the first two times was more than sufficient thanks.

Or do you want to tell me just one more time? If it really makes you feel better then go for it.

[/quote]

There is a sad man named canaryspike,

at least i think hes a man he could be a dyke,

he comes on here and repeats things thrice,

and very rarely are those things nice,

oh canaryspike please take a hike.

 

 

 

 

 

[/quote]

 

You seem to have no idea of the rhyme scheme of a limerick, jv.  There should be 8 or 9 beats in the first 2 lines, 4 or 5 in the next 2, and 9 in the last.

A Pinkun guest writer named Juan                                                                                                                              Tried desperately to play along                                                                                                                                     But his limericks were cr@p                                                                                                                                         His rhyme scheme pure pap                                                                                                                                        And they just sucked badly, oh my God were they bad; I can''t believe it.

  

 

[JuanVelasco 27]

[quote user="Houston Canary"][quote user="JuanVelasco"][quote user="JuanVelasco"][quote user="canaryspike7"][quote user="JuanVelasco"]

There was a crap midfielder from Jockland,

Fotheringham his name and he was bland,

Stormed down the tunnel at Carrow Road,

Stamping his feet in toddler mode,

Now to be seen shopping at Poundland.

[/quote]

Very poor.

[/quote]

Alright I get the point now, being told the first two times was more than sufficient thanks.

Or do you want to tell me just one more time? If it really makes you feel better then go for it.

[/quote]

There is a sad man named canaryspike,

at least i think hes a man he could be a dyke,

he comes on here and repeats things thrice,

and very rarely are those things nice,

oh canaryspike please take a hike.

 

 

 

 

 

[/quote]

 

You seem to have no idea of the rhyme scheme of a limerick, jv.  There should be 8 or 9 beats in the first 2 lines, 4 or 5 in the next 2, and 9 in the last.

A Pinkun guest writer named Juan                                                                                                                              Tried desperately to play along                                                                                                                                     But his limericks were cr@p                                                                                                                                         His rhyme scheme pure pap                                                                                                                                        And they just sucked badly, oh my God were they bad; I can''t believe it.

  

 

[/quote]

Well its a good job I have no ambition to become a poet then isn''t it? Does anybody else want to call my limerick rubbish, despite the fact that I have acknowledged this about five times already? Isnt my self degeneration enough for you Houston?

 

 

[Jez 0]

I went on to the pink''un boardWhile avoiding my work abroadinstead of football I foundlimericks aboundand so my work can be ignored!

[Jez 0]

I don''t really care for Gunn,but my team I shall never shun,so I''ll sing out loud,green and yellow and proud,and soon we''ll get out of league one!

[Jez 0]

I find it ever so sad,to see norwich playing so bad,but I prefer league one,to supporting some scum,like Roy Keane, MK Dons or Darren''s Dad(Darren ferguson)

[Jez 0]

I enjoy writing limericks you see,about my favourite City,as a procrastination toolit''s successfoolbut that ryhme wasn''t pretty

Erp I think I''ll stop now.  BTW, I went to Norfolk in Virginia yesterday, and their fire hydrants are Green & Yellow!

[Houston Canary 0]

[quote user="JuanVelasco"][quote user="Houston Canary"][quote user="JuanVelasco"][quote user="JuanVelasco"][quote user="canaryspike7"][quote user="JuanVelasco"]

There was a crap midfielder from Jockland,

Fotheringham his name and he was bland,

Stormed down the tunnel at Carrow Road,

Stamping his feet in toddler mode,

Now to be seen shopping at Poundland.

[/quote]

Very poor.

[/quote]

Alright I get the point now, being told the first two times was more than sufficient thanks.

Or do you want to tell me just one more time? If it really makes you feel better then go for it.

[/quote]

There is a sad man named canaryspike,

at least i think hes a man he could be a dyke,

he comes on here and repeats things thrice,

and very rarely are those things nice,

oh canaryspike please take a hike.

 

 

 

 

 

[/quote]

 

You seem to have no idea of the rhyme scheme of a limerick, jv.  There should be 8 or 9 beats in the first 2 lines, 4 or 5 in the next 2, and 9 in the last.

A Pinkun guest writer named Juan                                                                                                                              Tried desperately to play along                                                                                                                                     But his limericks were cr@p                                                                                                                                         His rhyme scheme pure pap                                                                                                                                        And they just sucked badly, oh my God were they bad; I can''t believe it.

  

 

[/quote]

Well its a good job I have no ambition to become a poet then isn''t it? Does anybody else want to call my limerick rubbish, despite the fact that I have acknowledged this about five times already? Isnt my self degeneration enough for you Houston?

 

 

[/quote]

No, your self degeneration (you making yourself a degenerate, apparently) is not enough. It is pansy players like your namesake who fake injury to get cards.  I bet your 50 yr old girlfriend''s dad didn''t do that when he played for the US back when we sucked. 

I grew up in a place called Regina

Saskatchewan, north of Spadina

Winters were bleak

Too frozen to speak

It snapped off while in her vagina 

[William Darby 0]

Jesus, I think was a gayI bet he was at it all dayFirst it was JohnThen with SimonThe rest would queue up to pay

[YankeeCanary 0]

[quote user="Houston Canary"][quote user="JuanVelasco"][quote user="Houston Canary"][quote user="JuanVelasco"][quote user="JuanVelasco"][quote user="canaryspike7"][quote user="JuanVelasco"]

There was a crap midfielder from Jockland,

Fotheringham his name and he was bland,

Stormed down the tunnel at Carrow Road,

Stamping his feet in toddler mode,

Now to be seen shopping at Poundland.

[/quote]

Very poor.

[/quote]

Alright I get the point now, being told the first two times was more than sufficient thanks.

Or do you want to tell me just one more time? If it really makes you feel better then go for it.

[/quote]

There is a sad man named canaryspike,

at least i think hes a man he could be a dyke,

he comes on here and repeats things thrice,

and very rarely are those things nice,

oh canaryspike please take a hike.

 

 

 

 

 

[/quote]

 

You seem to have no idea of the rhyme scheme of a limerick, jv.  There should be 8 or 9 beats in the first 2 lines, 4 or 5 in the next 2, and 9 in the last.

A Pinkun guest writer named Juan                                                                                                                              Tried desperately to play along                                                                                                                                     But his limericks were cr@p                                                                                                                                         His rhyme scheme pure pap                                                                                                                                        And they just sucked badly, oh my God were they bad; I can''t believe it.

  

 

[/quote]

Well its a good job I have no ambition to become a poet then isn''t it? Does anybody else want to call my limerick rubbish, despite the fact that I have acknowledged this about five times already? Isnt my self degeneration enough for you Houston?

 

 

[/quote]

No, your self degeneration (you making yourself a degenerate, apparently) is not enough. It is pansy players like your namesake who fake injury to get cards.  I bet your 50 yr old girlfriend''s dad didn''t do that when he played for the US back when we sucked. 

I grew up in a place called Regina

Saskatchewan, north of Spadina

Winters were bleak

Too frozen to speak

It snapped off while in her vagina 

[/quote]

Winnipeg at Portage and Main

Made Regina feel something like Spain

Men didn''t seek

A woman''s bare cheek

And the girls felt like virgins again 

[Houston Canary 0]

YC, for ages I''ve been waiting for the opportunity to use "Regina" in a limerick because every time limerick''s get mentioned, someone always throws out the "there once was a girls from Nantucket" as an opening line.  I figured with that opener, Regina could fit in line 3 or 4 as one of the rhymes.  Then you put it in the middle of a line.  I had never considered that.  Way to go!

p.s. I''d much rather be at Portage and Main than Victoria and Albert (Regina''s main intersection) in the winter.  Maybe the temps are the same, but at least it''s not Saskatchewan.  

[JuanVelasco 27]

[quote user="Houston Canary"][quote user="JuanVelasco"][quote user="Houston Canary"][quote user="JuanVelasco"][quote user="JuanVelasco"][quote user="canaryspike7"][quote user="JuanVelasco"]

There was a crap midfielder from Jockland,

Fotheringham his name and he was bland,

Stormed down the tunnel at Carrow Road,

Stamping his feet in toddler mode,

Now to be seen shopping at Poundland.

[/quote]

Very poor.

[/quote]

Alright I get the point now, being told the first two times was more than sufficient thanks.

Or do you want to tell me just one more time? If it really makes you feel better then go for it.

[/quote]

There is a sad man named canaryspike,

at least i think hes a man he could be a dyke,

he comes on here and repeats things thrice,

and very rarely are those things nice,

oh canaryspike please take a hike.

 

 

 

 

 

[/quote]

 

You seem to have no idea of the rhyme scheme of a limerick, jv.  There should be 8 or 9 beats in the first 2 lines, 4 or 5 in the next 2, and 9 in the last.

A Pinkun guest writer named Juan                                                                                                                              Tried desperately to play along                                                                                                                                     But his limericks were cr@p                                                                                                                                         His rhyme scheme pure pap                                                                                                                                        And they just sucked badly, oh my God were they bad; I can''t believe it.

  

 

[/quote]

Well its a good job I have no ambition to become a poet then isn''t it? Does anybody else want to call my limerick rubbish, despite the fact that I have acknowledged this about five times already? Isnt my self degeneration enough for you Houston?

 

 

[/quote]

No, your self degeneration (you making yourself a degenerate, apparently) is not enough. It is pansy players like your namesake who fake injury to get cards.  I bet your 50 yr old girlfriend''s dad didn''t do that when he played for the US back when we sucked. 

I grew up in a place called Regina

Saskatchewan, north of Spadina

Winters were bleak

Too frozen to speak

It snapped off while in her vagina 

[/quote]

Well in the three games I saw Juan Velasco play for Norwich City, I never once saw him dive or fake injury. He was pretty awful, but I dont really see where you are coming from with regards to that.

Unless.... of course you are labelling Spanish players with some type of generalism or stereotype. Obviously it is fine for you to do that but it is not fine for me to poke fun at Americans?

Dont worry Houston, I get it, all about Americans being above everybody else and the rest of the world being dumb or substandard.  A true football fan would know that Spain are probably the worlds best national team at the minute, and people like Fernando Torres get along just fine without cheating or diving.