Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
dpit

Limericks please

Recommended Posts

There was an old woman called Smiff.

Who''s husband had started to niff.

So she got out a book,

And then had a good look.

To discover she''d married a stiff.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Jones caught his nob in his zipWatching Smith flexing her whipFoulger while dressed in a gimp suitBlowing Munby''s bass fluteYou wondered why Doomy jumped ship.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There once was a winger called Hughes,

Winger? Well he was easily confused,

He sped down the wing

Just to hear the crowd sing

''We love you Andy Andy Hoooooooze!''

 

A press conference was called at noon,

To announce the fans new tune

Sung in a high key,

''Bring back Zema Abbey'',

And we''ll bounce back to the top very soon!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Stopping vitriol at the Board is a mustSaid the clowns from Norwich''s TrustRun by clueless old fartsWith a few old tartsIf their brains were wetter they''d rust

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Our team plays in yellow and green

Our defence was less than mean

Even though we went down

We''re the best team around

Not managed by a prick called Roy Keane

-----------------------------------------------------

I''ll get my coat...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
[quote user="JuanVelasco"]

[quote user="Shyster"]There was a young college girl called DownloadsWho befriended a poster named AceThey met up one day with Scottlerock who''s also GayAnd there I rest my case[/quote]

Somebody doesnt know what a limerick is?

[/quote]

Says the person who gave us the following:There was a crap midfielder from Jockland,Fotheringham his name and he was bland,Stormed down the tunnel at Carrow Road,Stamping his feet in toddler mode,Now to be seen shopping at Poundland.[:P]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

[quote user="Shyster"][quote user="JuanVelasco"]

[quote user="Shyster"]There was a young college girl called Downloads

Who befriended a poster named Ace

They met up one day with Scottlerock who''s also Gay

And there I rest my case
[/quote]

Somebody doesnt know what a limerick is?

[/quote]



Says the person who gave us the following:

There was a crap midfielder from Jockland,

Fotheringham his name and he was bland,

Stormed down the tunnel at Carrow Road,

Stamping his feet in toddler mode,

Now to be seen shopping at Poundland.


[:P]
[/quote]

Yeah mine was rubbish, I admit that, but at least it was a Limerick.  A Limerick always has 5 lines, the 1st, 2nd and 5th lines must ryhme, and the 3rd and 4th lines must rhyme. If that doesnt happen then it isnt a limerick..... so I will stick by my statement thanks [:P]

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There was a defender called Shacks

Who tried it with both the full backs

He said Ashton was best

Until he went west

I''m now with the old gold and blacks.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
[quote user="JuanVelasco"]

There was a crap midfielder from Jockland,

Fotheringham his name and he was bland,

Stormed down the tunnel at Carrow Road,

Stamping his feet in toddler mode,

Now to be seen shopping at Poundland.

[/quote]

that was rubbish!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
[quote user="Shyster"][quote user="JuanVelasco"]

[quote user="Shyster"]There was a young college girl called Downloads

Who befriended a poster named Ace

They met up one day with Scottlerock who''s also Gay

And there I rest my case
[/quote]

Somebody doesnt know what a limerick is?

[/quote]



Says the person who gave us the following:

There was a crap midfielder from Jockland,

Fotheringham his name and he was bland,

Stormed down the tunnel at Carrow Road,

Stamping his feet in toddler mode,

Now to be seen shopping at Poundland.


[:P]
[/quote]

ill agree with you there Shyster

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
[quote user="I am a Banana"][quote user="Shyster"][quote user="JuanVelasco"]

[quote user="Shyster"]There was a young college girl called DownloadsWho befriended a poster named AceThey met up one day with Scottlerock who''s also GayAnd there I rest my case[/quote]

Somebody doesnt know what a limerick is?

[/quote]

Says the person who gave us the following:There was a crap midfielder from Jockland,Fotheringham his name and he was bland,Stormed down the tunnel at Carrow Road,Stamping his feet in toddler mode,Now to be seen shopping at Poundland.[:P][/quote]

ill agree with you there Shyster

[/quote]

In that case, I shall withdraw my request for multiple logins being banned.  [:D]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
[quote user="Shyster"][quote user="I am a Banana"][quote user="Shyster"][quote user="JuanVelasco"]

[quote user="Shyster"]There was a young college girl called Downloads

Who befriended a poster named Ace

They met up one day with Scottlerock who''s also Gay

And there I rest my case
[/quote]

Somebody doesnt know what a limerick is?

[/quote]



Says the person who gave us the following:

There was a crap midfielder from Jockland,

Fotheringham his name and he was bland,

Stormed down the tunnel at Carrow Road,

Stamping his feet in toddler mode,

Now to be seen shopping at Poundland.


[:P]
[/quote]

ill agree with you there Shyster

[/quote]


In that case, I shall withdraw my request for multiple logins being banned.  [:D]
[/quote]

I don''t even have multiple log-ins!

unlike YOU!  [:D]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
[quote user="I am a Banana"][quote user="Shyster"][quote user="I am a Banana"][quote user="Shyster"][quote user="JuanVelasco"]

[quote user="Shyster"]There was a young college girl called Downloads

Who befriended a poster named Ace

They met up one day with Scottlerock who''s also Gay

And there I rest my case
[/quote]

Somebody doesnt know what a limerick is?

[/quote]



Says the person who gave us the following:

There was a crap midfielder from Jockland,

Fotheringham his name and he was bland,

Stormed down the tunnel at Carrow Road,

Stamping his feet in toddler mode,

Now to be seen shopping at Poundland.


[:P]
[/quote]

ill agree with you there Shyster

[/quote]


In that case, I shall withdraw my request for multiple logins being banned.  [:D]
[/quote]

I don''t even have multiple log-ins!

unlike YOU!  [:D]

[/quote]

lol lol lol.  Good old Banana............ banana must stay, banana must stay, whao whao....... banana must stay, banana must stay, whao whao.......

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
There was a young winger named EadieWhose feet were impressively speedyHe''d streak to the bylineWith pace that was sublimeWe''d have kept him if Chase weren''t so greedy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

[quote user="I am a Banana"][quote user="Shyster"][quote user="I am a Banana"][quote user="Shyster"][quote user="JuanVelasco"]

[quote user="Shyster"]There was a young college girl called DownloadsWho befriended a poster named AceThey met up one day with Scottlerock who''s also GayAnd there I rest my case[/quote]

Somebody doesnt know what a limerick is?

[/quote]

Says the person who gave us the following:There was a crap midfielder from Jockland,Fotheringham his name and he was bland,Stormed down the tunnel at Carrow Road,Stamping his feet in toddler mode,Now to be seen shopping at Poundland.[:P][/quote]

ill agree with you there Shyster

[/quote]

In that case, I shall withdraw my request for multiple logins being banned.  [:D][/quote]

I don''t even have multiple log-ins!

unlike YOU!  [:D]

[/quote]

Why the f*ck would I be calling for the deletion of multiple logins if I was using them, you ultra f*ckwit?  [:P]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There was a sh*t player called Doc

Whose defending was often a shock

With the pace of a snail

He rarely did fail

To make himself look like a co*k

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We had a young winger from Pool

Who''d make his marker look like a fool

We tried hard to keep him

But our gaffer was so dim

He gave him away for a mule

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Our best players we couldn''t keep

So we signed a few men on the cheap

Our gaffer tried to be cunning

And we hit Leage One running

But we ended up bottom of the heap

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
[quote user="Shyster"][quote user="I am a Banana"][quote user="Shyster"][quote user="I am a Banana"][quote user="Shyster"][quote user="JuanVelasco"]

[quote user="Shyster"]There was a young college girl called Downloads

Who befriended a poster named Ace

They met up one day with Scottlerock who''s also Gay

And there I rest my case
[/quote]

Somebody doesnt know what a limerick is?

[/quote]



Says the person who gave us the following:

There was a crap midfielder from Jockland,

Fotheringham his name and he was bland,

Stormed down the tunnel at Carrow Road,

Stamping his feet in toddler mode,

Now to be seen shopping at Poundland.


[:P]
[/quote]

ill agree with you there Shyster

[/quote]


In that case, I shall withdraw my request for multiple logins being banned.  [:D]
[/quote]

I don''t even have multiple log-ins!

unlike YOU!  [:D]

[/quote]



Why the f*ck would I be calling for the deletion of multiple logins if I was using them, you ultra f*ckwit?  [:P]
[/quote]

Calm down with the language mate, we have all had to do it, you are no exception.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
[quote user="JuanVelasco"][quote user="Shyster"][quote user="I am a Banana"][quote user="Shyster"][quote user="I am a Banana"][quote user="Shyster"][quote user="JuanVelasco"]

[quote user="Shyster"]There was a young college girl called DownloadsWho befriended a poster named AceThey met up one day with Scottlerock who''s also GayAnd there I rest my case[/quote]

Somebody doesnt know what a limerick is?

[/quote]

Says the person who gave us the following:There was a crap midfielder from Jockland,Fotheringham his name and he was bland,Stormed down the tunnel at Carrow Road,Stamping his feet in toddler mode,Now to be seen shopping at Poundland.[:P][/quote]

ill agree with you there Shyster

[/quote]

In that case, I shall withdraw my request for multiple logins being banned.  [:D][/quote]

I don''t even have multiple log-ins!

unlike YOU!  [:D]

[/quote]

Why the f*ck would I be calling for the deletion of multiple logins if I was using them, you ultra f*ckwit?  [:P][/quote]

Calm down with the language mate, we have all had to do it, you are no exception.

[/quote]

Beings you''ve put it politely and the fact that I enjoy reading your posts, I will endeavour to curb my swearing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

[quote user="Herb"]There was a young winger named Eadie
Whose feet were impressively speedy
He''d streak to the byline
With pace that was sublime
We''d have kept him if Chase weren''t so greedy

[/quote]

Chase had been long gone in December 1999.

Smith had been in charge 3 years and apart from selling off our best players was running down the famous academy that had produced Eadie.

Ain''t the truth stranger than fiction.

OTBC

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
[quote user="Shyster"][quote user="JuanVelasco"][quote user="Shyster"][quote user="I am a Banana"][quote user="Shyster"][quote user="I am a Banana"][quote user="Shyster"][quote user="JuanVelasco"]

[quote user="Shyster"]There was a young college girl called Downloads

Who befriended a poster named Ace

They met up one day with Scottlerock who''s also Gay

And there I rest my case
[/quote]

Somebody doesnt know what a limerick is?

[/quote]


Says the person who gave us the following:

There was a crap midfielder from Jockland,

Fotheringham his name and he was bland,

Stormed down the tunnel at Carrow Road,

Stamping his feet in toddler mode,

Now to be seen shopping at Poundland.


[:P]
[/quote]

ill agree with you there Shyster

[/quote]


In that case, I shall withdraw my request for multiple logins being banned.  [:D]
[/quote]

I don''t even have multiple log-ins!

unlike YOU!  [:D]

[/quote]



Why the f*ck would I be calling for the deletion of multiple logins if I was using them, you ultra f*ckwit?  [:P]
[/quote]

Calm down with the language mate, we have all had to do it, you are no exception.

[/quote]



Beings you''ve put it politely and the fact that I enjoy reading your posts, I will endeavour to curb my swearing.
[/quote]

 

Well I managed it mate and I was at least as bad as you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

[quote user="dpit"]

My favourite player was Boyer

He had a shot and a turn that could awe ya

His partner was Ted

I don''t mean in bed

...............

Last line please

[/quote]

 

Got it.

My favourite player was Boyer

He had a shot and a turn that could awe ya

His partner was Ted

Of course not in bed

I don''t want a call from his lawyer

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We signed a young full back from Crewe

Who is pretty quick, that much is true

He is ok attacking

But is often found lacking

With the defending that he''s supposed to do.

 

Last season was the Glen Roeder show

He released lots of players in one go

The replacement loans

Brought nothing but groans

When we dropped to the division below

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
[quote user="Shyster"][quote user="I am a Banana"][quote user="Shyster"][quote user="I am a Banana"][quote user="Shyster"][quote user="JuanVelasco"]

[quote user="Shyster"]There was a young college girl called Downloads

Who befriended a poster named Ace

They met up one day with Scottlerock who''s also Gay

And there I rest my case
[/quote]

Somebody doesnt know what a limerick is?

[/quote]



Says the person who gave us the following:

There was a crap midfielder from Jockland,

Fotheringham his name and he was bland,

Stormed down the tunnel at Carrow Road,

Stamping his feet in toddler mode,

Now to be seen shopping at Poundland.


[:P]
[/quote]

ill agree with you there Shyster

[/quote]


In that case, I shall withdraw my request for multiple logins being banned.  [:D]
[/quote]

I don''t even have multiple log-ins!

unlike YOU!  [:D]

[/quote]



Why the f*ck would I be calling for the deletion of multiple logins if I was using them, you ultra f*ckwit?  [:P]
[/quote]

because you may have a home account, and a different user name when you are at work, which would be undetectable! which would make you unable to be banned!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
[quote user="BlyBlyBabes"]

[quote user="Herb"]There was a young winger named EadieWhose feet were impressively speedyHe''d streak to the bylineWith pace that was sublimeWe''d have kept him if Chase weren''t so greedy[/quote]

Chase had been long gone in December 1999.

Smith had been in charge 3 years and apart from selling off our best players was running down the famous academy that had produced Eadie.

Ain''t the truth stranger than fiction.

OTBC

 

[/quote]It wasn''t meant to be a historically correct.... [:P]Besides, there is an argument that we''d have kept him if Chase hadn''t ripped the European squad to bits and consigned us to years in the Championship.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
There once was a poster called Wiz

Who talked a load of old Jizz

He loves Jamie Lad

Even though he is bad

And watches WWE with The Miz!

(He actually is a wrestling fan)!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...