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Mister Chops

My letter to Mr Foulger

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Dear Mr Foulger,Forgive me writing to you but I wanted to ask a favour.  My family run a local business making Russian Dolls.  About six years ago we were invited to a convention in Cardiff where we just missed out on the top prize and a lucrative contract, but the next year we managed to beat all our competitors and shifted thousands of pounds of stock.  This opened up possibilities with top class retailers that you can only dream of.Sadly, at this point, my brother who runs the business with me decided he''d rather not invest more money in Russian Dolls despite the opportunities open to us, and instead bought six buy to let houses and a local pizza takeaway.   There was further embarrassment when my brother, rather tipsy from too much

champagne, burst into the store and told all our customers to show him

their private parts.  It wouldn''t have been so bad, but Sky TV were there at the time.  Anyway, I digress.The point is with his investments in property and food, our Russian Doll business has never recovered and until a few months back we had to rely on cheap Chinese and Taiwanese knock-offs.   The final straw came this year when we had to borrow a load of stock from other retailers just to fill the shop window, as we couldn''t afford our own, and then we found out the foundations of our store were collapsing inwards at great cost to all concerned.Now, you''re not short of a few quid and I''m sure you understand why I''m writing to you; after all, we are both Norwich City fans and I know we''ll pull together at this difficult time.  Please let me have some money and I promise, on behalf of myself and my brother, to use it wisely and to make our Russian Doll empire great once more.  I''ll even match what you offer us, pound for pound.  Ignore our previous track record - we''ll make all of East Anglia proud or my name''s not V I Lenin.Yours,Chops.

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[quote user="Mister Chops"]Dear Mr Foulger,

Forgive me writing to you but I wanted to ask a favour. 

My family run a local business making Russian Dolls.  About six years ago we were invited to a convention in Cardiff where we just missed out on the top prize and a lucrative contract, but the next year we managed to beat all our competitors and shifted thousands of pounds of stock.  This opened up possibilities with top class retailers that you can only dream of.

Sadly, at this point, my brother who runs the business with me decided he''d rather not invest more money in Russian Dolls despite the opportunities open to us, and instead bought six buy to let houses and a local pizza takeaway.   There was further embarrassment when my brother, rather tipsy from too much champagne, burst into the store and told all our customers to show him their private parts.  It wouldn''t have been so bad, but Sky TV were there at the time.  Anyway, I digress.

The point is with his investments in property and food, our Russian Doll business has never recovered and until a few months back we had to rely on cheap Chinese and Taiwanese knock-offs.   The final straw came this year when we had to borrow a load of stock from other retailers just to fill the shop window, as we couldn''t afford our own, and then we found out the foundations of our store were collapsing inwards at great cost to all concerned.

Now, you''re not short of a few quid and I''m sure you understand why I''m writing to you; after all, we are both Norwich City fans and I know we''ll pull together at this difficult time.  Please let me have some money and I promise, on behalf of myself and my brother, to use it wisely and to make our Russian Doll empire great once more.  I''ll even match what you offer us, pound for pound.  Ignore our previous track record - we''ll make all of East Anglia proud or my name''s not V I Lenin.

Yours,

Chops.

[/quote]

Here''s 20% .....I hope this small token helps your cause...

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Nice one Chops as always.

My rebate claim has gone in so in all fairness I can''t give it to your business.

There are, however, a few posters on here who I''m sure will give you even more that you ask.

May I suggest you start with Bobert, funnyline BA and Jghost

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If I were Mr. Foulger I might be inclined to respond with something along the lines of the following:

Dear Mister Chops:

Thank you for your letter requesting I provide you with financial support. Sadly, I cannot oblige because, as you know, I''m currently in the same spot you seem to find yourself in and find myself scratching around looking for money from others. I''m sure you''ll agree that it''s a tough old world when you have to count on the commitment of others to provide success. I''m sorry to see that you encountered the same fate that so many of us succumb to. The only advice I would give you is not to be too hard on your brother. His actions may be a blessing in disguise. That lucrative business volume you anticipated with those top class retailers doesn''t look anywhere near as appealing at the moment as store closings seem to be mounting by the week. The rental income from your brothers houses along with a steady money stream business like the pizza takeaway should ensure that your brother has some cash during these troubling times. I''m sure your brother is loyal to you and will ensure you continue to have access to the things that are important to you. Good luck on your future endeavours. I''m sure if you and your brother stick together through the difficult times you will both see the better days returning.

Yours truly,

Mr. Foulger.   

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[quote user="YankeeCanary"]

If I were Mr. Foulger I might be inclined to respond with something along the lines of the following:

Dear Mister Chops:

Thank you for your letter requesting I provide you with financial support. Sadly, I cannot oblige because, as you know, I''m currently in the same spot you seem to find yourself in and find myself scratching around looking for money from others. I''m sure you''ll agree that it''s a tough old world when you have to count on the commitment of others to provide success. I''m sorry to see that you encountered the same fate that so many of us succumb to. The only advice I would give you is not to be too hard on your brother. His actions may be a blessing in disguise. That lucrative business volume you anticipated with those top class retailers doesn''t look anywhere near as appealing at the moment as store closings seem to be mounting by the week. The rental income from your brothers houses along with a steady money stream business like the pizza takeaway should ensure that your brother has some cash during these troubling times. I''m sure your brother is loyal to you and will ensure you continue to have access to the things that are important to you. Good luck on your future endeavours. I''m sure if you and your brother stick together through the difficult times you will both see the better days returning.

Yours truly,

Mr. Foulger.   

[/quote]

Is your (I''m there in spirit every match-day) personal Carrow contribution cheque of $100 to the cause - winging its way over to East Anglia and Norfolk - as you type?

.............

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Any chance of you using two hands to provide a response that is on point Mello, or is your one hand on the keyboard/one hand holding the biscuit approach only practical for providing single sentence shots off-point.

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Not sure what you are trying to say Face but...the point and object of the thread ( and its companion threads ) seems to be Mr. Foulger. As he is not likely to respond to Mister Chops on here I thought I''d take a stab at what he might have said if he had received the message from Mister Chops directly. 

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[quote user="Bury Yellow"]Nice one Chops as always. My rebate claim has gone in so in all fairness I can''t give it to your business. There are, however, a few posters on here who I''m sure will give you even more that you ask. May I suggest you start with Bobert, funnyline BA and Jghost[/quote]

Just as well they do Bury Yellow as otherwise you would not have a professional game to watch on a Satuday afternoon  would you? Need to pay your way in life or get off the bus.

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And if we let Delia and her merry band continue for much longer Bobert, it won''t be professional football we will be watching. If you hadn''t noticed, we are going down the leagues, not up them.

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[quote user="YankeeCanary"]Any chance of you using two hands to provide a response that is on point Mello, or is your one hand on the keyboard/one hand holding the biscuit approach only practical for providing single sentence shots off-point.[/quote]Even one-handed, his posts are still infinitely more interesting than yours. Ouch.

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[quote user="Mister Chops"]Dear Mr Foulger,

Forgive me writing to you but I wanted to ask a favour. 

My family run a local business making Russian Dolls.  About six years ago we were invited to a convention in Cardiff where we just missed out on the top prize and a lucrative contract, but the next year we managed to beat all our competitors and shifted thousands of pounds of stock.  This opened up possibilities with top class retailers that you can only dream of.

Sadly, at this point, my brother who runs the business with me decided he''d rather not invest more money in Russian Dolls despite the opportunities open to us, and instead bought six buy to let houses and a local pizza takeaway.   There was further embarrassment when my brother, rather tipsy from too much champagne, burst into the store and told all our customers to show him their private parts.  It wouldn''t have been so bad, but Sky TV were there at the time.  Anyway, I digress.

The point is with his investments in property and food, our Russian Doll business has never recovered and until a few months back we had to rely on cheap Chinese and Taiwanese knock-offs.   The final straw came this year when we had to borrow a load of stock from other retailers just to fill the shop window, as we couldn''t afford our own, and then we found out the foundations of our store were collapsing inwards at great cost to all concerned.

Now, you''re not short of a few quid and I''m sure you understand why I''m writing to you; after all, we are both Norwich City fans and I know we''ll pull together at this difficult time.  Please let me have some money and I promise, on behalf of myself and my brother, to use it wisely and to make our Russian Doll empire great once more.  I''ll even match what you offer us, pound for pound.  Ignore our previous track record - we''ll make all of East Anglia proud or my name''s not V I Lenin.

Yours,

Chops.

[/quote]

not up to your usual standard if i`m honest chops  [:O]

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[quote user="Fernando Derveld"][quote user="YankeeCanary"]Any chance of you using two hands to provide a response that is on point Mello, or is your one hand on the keyboard/one hand holding the biscuit approach only practical for providing single sentence shots off-point.[/quote]

Even one-handed, his posts are still infinitely more interesting than yours. Ouch.


[/quote]

You must still be reading books with pictures then. [:D]

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[quote user="YankeeCanary"]

[quote user="Fernando Derveld"][quote user="YankeeCanary"]Any chance of you using two hands to provide a response that is on point Mello, or is your one hand on the keyboard/one hand holding the biscuit approach only practical for providing single sentence shots off-point.[/quote]

Even one-handed, his posts are still infinitely more interesting than yours. Ouch.


[/quote]

You must still be reading books with pictures then. [:D]

[/quote]

But, will you still be sending a $100 as a contribution to support Mr Foulger''s initiative?....

 "See Yankee play with Spot, jump Spot, jump!" said Janet. "Yeah Spot jump! Jump and bite the closet Yank right on his ample ar$e!"...."That''s a horrible thing to tell Spot to do John!"...scolded Janet "Yeah I suppose it actually is a horrible thing Janet," replied John. As I''ll have to get Daddy to take Spot for a rabies shot after biting Yankee''s ar$e!...Poor Spot!" whispered Janet.....

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I get the picture Bobert. So we are watching pro football because of you and your ilk.

I need no lesson from you about life, investment, risk taking and trying to be a good employer.

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