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curnster

Worst Player of the Season - The Victor Segura Trophy.

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Once upon a time the prestigious Barry Butler trophy was awarded to the finest, most skilful or most gallant player that our team had to offer. Nowadays, it''s given to a winger who can''t cross, shoot or score, just before he clears off to bigger and better things. Therefore, I propose that we have to focus our energies upon a new prestiguous award for our lads to hotly contest. I give you "The Victor Segura Trophy" awarded for complete footballing crapness and ineptitude. In a season which has reached new "heights" for all round collective crapness, the competition is certainly fierce. After much deliberation, those who have particularly excelled are as follows:

 

3rd place - David Marshall

Continuing the long established NCFC tradition of giving awards to players just as they jump ship, our goalkeeper comes in a honourable third, as much for his miserable Scottish demeanour and generally looking like he couldn''t care less as for his consistently nerve-wracking handling. Particular reference to his performance at Charlton, which combined his remarkable attributes of conceding shambolic goals and making a cowardly sharp exit from the pitch thereafter. A goalkeeper who doesn''t even fulfil the primary purpose of his position - that of constantly bollocking his defenders and convincing them that it was all their fault. None of that for our Marshy who mosied around between the sticks like playing football was a major inconvenience on his valuable time. Whatever would Peter Schmeichel think? Some might say that Cardiff City deserve better after suffering two years of the horrors of Peter Enckleman. Of course that would be wrong as the blue welsh scum deserve all they get. A team and a player who truly deserve each other. On yer bike!

 

2nd Place - Jon Otsemobor

Unlucky to miss out on the big award following his particularly un-sterling lack of effort in the latter part of the season, just when we needed it most. A calm head of indifference amongst the panic of relegation. Once upon a time we used to forgive his evident inability to defend, due to his lung-bursting efforts in attack. Then his lung actually did burst (yeah right) and he successfully cut out the only worthwhile attribute to his game, and retired to the half-way line from about March onwards. Smart work. Another particular contributor to the Charlton debacle, where he wasn''t too proud to let a 17-year-old debutant embarrass his levels of effort and ability. However, being under contract, on good money, and the only recognised right-back at the club, he looks well primed to defy all belief and turn in some even worse performances, and be a runaway winner of this award, next season, as he finds a whole new league of un-heard of left-wingers to turn him inside-out. Big times ahead.

 

The Grand Winner - Darel Russell

So crap we signed him twice. Last time we got shot of him we then won the league. Stoke got  rid of him...... then won the league. We got him back and plumbed new footballing depths. It doesn''t take a genius to appreciate the logic of not having this joker in your team. Big hopes at the start of the season - new hair, new player maybe? Not a bit of it. His lack of dreadlocks served only to maximise his midfield anonymity. Played upfront early on in order to really destroy any confidence that Cureton might have mistakenly had left. It must be bad enough being dropped for Russell, but when he doesn''t even play your position it must be unimaginable footballing crucification. Reverting to midfield allowed him to demonstrate his remarkable array of defects. A headless chicken in defence, the invisible man in attack. The sort of guy you''d love to be marking in Sunday league, should he ever actually venture into the opposition half. Throw in a petulant tendancy towards brainless sendings-off and the reasons behind teams doing rather better without him start to become clear. Notable performances include Watford at home, where, in injury time, he eventually managed to force the ref to send him off, despite having previously let him off about 12 bookable offences, catapulting himself into the stratospheric realm of brainless footballer previously occupied solely by Joey Barton and Gazza. All of this whilst consistently regailing the pink-un with the mindless rhetoric of his weekly "The lads are gonna put it right" speech.  Norwich through and through. A worthy winner.

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O''le !  O''le !I will never forget Victors first game for city!  An anti-legend!Russell - got found out last season.  People say he is a combative midfielder, when he is actually puts his head down far to easily.  I predict he will disappear up his own bum once he gets kicked around a bit next season, although I suspect he will take the first offer that comes along to jump ship before then.

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[quote user="curnster"]

Once upon a time the prestigious Barry Butler trophy was awarded to the finest, most skilful or most gallant player that our team had to offer. Nowadays, it''s given to a winger who can''t cross, shoot or score, just before he clears off to bigger and better things. Therefore, I propose that we have to focus our energies upon a new prestiguous award for our lads to hotly contest. I give you "The Victor Segura Trophy" awarded for complete footballing crapness and ineptitude. In a season which has reached new "heights" for all round collective crapness, the competition is certainly fierce. After much deliberation, those who have particularly excelled are as follows:

 

3rd place - David Marshall

he kept us in many games and denied ippy of going 1-0 up at home!! we would have been down long before he we never hasd him"

2nd Place - Jon Otsemobor

not the best defender but great attacking!!

The Grand Winner - Darel Russell

works hard and does alot for the team!!

YOU ALL SLATE THE HARD WORKERS OFF BECAUSE YOUR ONLY INTRESTED IN THE GLORY!!!!![:@]

[/quote]

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[quote user="the stump"]otsemobor by a country mile[/quote]If you could be bothered to measure a country mile.... [:P]

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Very funny post, had me laughing - and agreeing with it all!!!

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God so many to pick from this one really is a tough choice lol!

3- Marshall

2- Fotheringham

3- Otsemobor

 

Also as loan players have made up about half of our teams this season how about a worst loan player of the season award aswell as I think they deserve a category of their own with how bad they have been! I dont know about a name something like the Kevin Lisbie or Zesh Rehman award something along those lines.

My top three for that will be:

3- David Carney

2- Elliot Omozusi

1- Antoine sibierski

To be honest a top 8 could be done for that one though and I could still think of many people to go on there.

 

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Glad to see Rusty is finally being exposed as the headless chicken he is! No idea what to do when he finally gets hold of the ball, Patty is much better but Gunn did for him.

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marshall  got to be, so he saves a few cracking shots but what else did he do ,certainly didnt command his box , gather crosses etc, and the final piece of the jigsaw for me was his no show at charlton total sh1t 3goals in 30 minute s with out really making the effort , judge put the black hat on

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Russell - So crap we signed him twice! HAHAHAHA!!That has really tickled me.....brilliant.

Top 3 crap players in my opinion:3. Fotheringham - Shocking. 2. Otsemobor - Not bad going forwards but doesn''t have a defensive bone in his body which for a defender is arguably quite important. For the speed that he lacks upstairs he does make up in natural pace...but pace doesn''t necessarily matter when the ball''s at your feet in your own box!1. Sibierski - Complete toilet. For a reasonably tall centre forward, I could never work out how he never won headers and couldn''t hold the ball up. This award would have gone to Carl ''I shrink when I jump'' Cort who also posessed neither of these qualities, however Antione had a rather respectable premiership history behind him and hadn''t been out for the last 5 years with injuries! Antoine.....YOU''RE FIRED!

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Russell is an ok RB but he was a headless chicken first time around. He had one great game (Portsmouth away televised) that I saw, apart from that he and Shackell are the two worst positional players I can remember....... and Green but that was Malkys fault...... mostly. Actually Hucks and Hoolahan were as bad but at least they were predictable and you could plan accordingly.....

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Is Christopher ''I''m a fudging tree stump'' Killen exempt from these lists?

He''d be my number one choice

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3rd......Cort

2nd.....Sibierski

1st.....Cureton

This perhaps goes along way to explaining why we ended up where we did. Especially when perhaps our two best performers were Shackell and Doherty.

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I thinkk that we are being unfair on Jamie - hardly anyone has identified him as number one!

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The Grand Winner - Darel Russell

So crap we signed him twice. Last time we got shot of him we then

won the league. Stoke got  rid of him...... then won the league. We got

him back and plumbed new footballing depths. It doesn''t take a genius

to appreciate the logic of not having this joker in your team. Big

hopes at the start of the season - new hair, new player maybe? Not a

bit of it. His lack of dreadlocks served only to maximise his midfield

anonymity. Played upfront early on in order to really destroy any

confidence that Cureton might have mistakenly had left. It must be bad

enough being dropped for Russell, but when he doesn''t even play your

position it must be unimaginable footballing crucification. Reverting

to midfield allowed him to demonstrate his remarkable array of defects.

A headless chicken in defence, the invisible man in attack. The sort of

guy you''d love to be marking in Sunday league, should he ever actually

venture into the opposition half. Throw in a petulant tendancy towards

brainless sendings-off and the reasons behind teams doing rather better

without him start to become clear. Notable performances include Watford

at home, where, in injury time, he eventually managed to force the ref

to send him off, despite having previously let him off about 12

bookable offences, catapulting himself into

the stratospheric realm of brainless footballer previously occupied

solely by Joey Barton and Gazza. All of this whilst consistently

regailing the pink-un with the mindless rhetoric of his weekly "The

lads are gonna put it right" speech.  Norwich through and through. A

worthy winner.

THE BEST EVALUATION IVE EVER READ.

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[quote user="missing in action"]

The Grand Winner - Darel Russell

So crap we signed him twice. Last time we got shot of him we then

won the league. Stoke got  rid of him...... then won the league. We got

him back and plumbed new footballing depths. It doesn''t take a genius

to appreciate the logic of not having this joker in your team. Big

hopes at the start of the season - new hair, new player maybe? Not a

bit of it. His lack of dreadlocks served only to maximise his midfield

anonymity. Played upfront early on in order to really destroy any

confidence that Cureton might have mistakenly had left. It must be bad

enough being dropped for Russell, but when he doesn''t even play your

position it must be unimaginable footballing crucification. Reverting

to midfield allowed him to demonstrate his remarkable array of defects.

A headless chicken in defence, the invisible man in attack. The sort of

guy you''d love to be marking in Sunday league, should he ever actually

venture into the opposition half. Throw in a petulant tendancy towards

brainless sendings-off and the reasons behind teams doing rather better

without him start to become clear. Notable performances include Watford

at home, where, in injury time, he eventually managed to force the ref

to send him off, despite having previously let him off about 12

bookable offences, catapulting himself into

the stratospheric realm of brainless footballer previously occupied

solely by Joey Barton and Gazza. All of this whilst consistently

regailing the pink-un with the mindless rhetoric of his weekly "The

lads are gonna put it right" speech.  Norwich through and through. A

worthy winner.

THE BEST EVALUATION IVE EVER READ.

[/quote]You are making me waver in my Jamie vote now!

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As ridgeman says, we didn''t get to see the worst players, because they didn''t play! No matter what you think of Rusty (who did score a few), Jamie (who also scored a few, unfortunately several of these were for Barnsley), Fozzy etc, Killen, TA-H, OJ and the rest HAVE to have been worse. They''ll probably do a Kieran Gibbs next season though [:(]

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A three way split for me with Russell, Fotheringham and Otsemebor from the first team regulars.

Sicknote Sibierski has to get my vote for the loan players.

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