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Tetteys Jig

Imposter of a Championship team

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How long do you reckon you could keep the act up of people thinking you are actually good enough for this level? I reckon, putting me in my favoured Hucks position, outside Left wing, i could last about 10 minutes, (maybe 20 if all the attacks went down the other side!) a minute short of what George Weah''s "cousin" lasted!

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I think a lot of people who play non-league football would cause a few surprises.Football is as much of a "who you know" industry as any other - and I''m sure in an alternate universe somewhere players such as our own recently departed Andy Hughes never made it as far as a Sunday Pub side.

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[quote user="astrodyne"]Till I had to exhale and people could then see the true size of my stomach...[:)][/quote]15 minutes. but i would look like a 40 year old sweeper!!!a short fat defender. not gonna work haha

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Dug this news article up for anyone wanting to become a professional footballer:

Romanian Patulea''s bare-faced cheek earns him a shot at the big time with Lincoln City

By

Sportsmail Reporter Last updated at 10:45 AM on 24th July 2008

Romanian striker Adrian Patulea found a novel way of grabbing

Lincoln City''s attention in his bid to earn a trial with the League Two

club - he turned up at their training ground with a naked girl strapped

to his back.

The 24-year-old former Rapid Bucharest star begged

manager Peter Jackson for an opportunity, and went to extraordinary

lengths to get himself noticed.

The Imps boss said: ''He was spotted by the groundsman running around the training ground with his girlfriend on his back.

''The trouble is his girlfriend was naked, which got the attention of the players.''

Patulea

was subsequently handed a trial and, after scoring a hat-trick in a

pre-season friendly win over Lincoln United, is now in line to win a

permanent deal.

''Adrian is contracted to a club in Romania

so we''re talking to the FA to see if we can get in touch with his

club,'' said Jackson. ''We may have to look at signing him on loan but it

all depends on his club.''

///

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-1038257/Romanian-Patuleas-bare-faced-cheek-earns-shot-big-time-Lincoln-City.html

He''s gone on to become Lincoln''s joint top scorer with 9 league goals in 14 appearances.

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[quote user="Jimmy Smith"]How long do you reckon you could keep the act up of people thinking you are actually good enough for this level? I reckon, putting me in my favoured Hucks position, outside Left wing, i could last about 10 minutes, (maybe 20 if all the attacks went down the other side!) a minute short of what George Weah''s "cousin" lasted!
[/quote]

Ask Mark Fotheringham....

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nearly made reference to him in the first place, but thought better of it! Wonder if i could get a few games out of it if i scored a tap-in!

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When I was 25 and fit, I reckon I could have gone 20 minutes as long as I remained in my goal-hanging position up front.

These days, when I haven''t played for about three years, I''d struggle to last 5 mins!

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I''d like to put the question to Evil Monkey as to how long he''d last playing five-a-side without throwing up on the side of the pitch? [:D][+o(][pi][+o(][:D]

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[quote user="Jimmy Smith"]How long do you reckon you could keep the act up of people thinking you are actually good enough for this level? I reckon, putting me in my favoured Hucks position, outside Left wing, i could last about 10 minutes, (maybe 20 if all the attacks went down the other side!) a minute short of what George Weah''s "cousin" lasted!
[/quote]lol....im thinking if i only had a FEW beers the night b4 the game i could possibly do 10-15 minutes....warming up ...then sit for the remainder of the game[Y]

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[quote user="Jimmy Smith"]How long do you reckon you could keep the act up of people thinking you are actually good enough for this level? I reckon, putting me in my favoured Hucks position, outside Left wing, i could last about 10 minutes, (maybe 20 if all the attacks went down the other side!) a minute short of what George Weah''s "cousin" lasted!
[/quote]

 

I don''t know if you are refering to a different incident or you''ve got the names wrong but I remember going to Stowmarket to watch a Norwich side in about 2000 made up of fringe players and trialists and Jimmy Floyd Hasselbanks brother was playing for us. We drew 0-0 (against Stowmarket remember!) and Carlos Hasselbank never played for us again!

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[quote user="Jimmy Smith"]How long do you reckon you could keep the act up of people thinking you are actually good enough for this level? I reckon, putting me in my favoured Hucks position, outside Left wing, i could last about 10 minutes, (maybe 20 if all the attacks went down the other side!) a minute short of what George Weah''s "cousin" lasted!
[/quote]

 

I don''t know if you are refering to a different incident or you''ve got the names wrong but I remember going to Stowmarket to watch a Norwich side in about 2000 made up of fringe players and trialists and Jimmy Floyd Hasselbanks brother was playing for us. We drew 0-0 (against Stowmarket remember!) and Carlos Hasselbank never played for us again!

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[quote user="grantroederdisaster"]

[quote user="Jimmy Smith"]How long do you reckon you could keep the act up of people thinking you are actually good enough for this level? I reckon, putting me in my favoured Hucks position, outside Left wing, i could last about 10 minutes, (maybe 20 if all the attacks went down the other side!) a minute short of what George Weah''s "cousin" lasted![/quote]

 

I don''t know if you are refering to a different incident or you''ve got the names wrong but I remember going to Stowmarket to watch a Norwich side in about 2000 made up of fringe players and trialists and Jimmy Floyd Hasselbanks brother was playing for us. We drew 0-0 (against Stowmarket remember!) and Carlos Hasselbank never played for us again!

[/quote]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ali_Dia this guy! even youtube can''t make him look good!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HciK949rv6Y&feature=related

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Speaking as someone in my 30s and reasonably fit (well, fit enough to run from Ketts Hill to Carra Rud once last season to make kick off!)If I''m honest, about 2 minutes - or as long as it took to launch into a horrendous 2 footed tackle to the first player to mug me...

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[quote user="Herb"]Speaking as someone in my 30s and reasonably fit (well, fit enough to run from Ketts Hill to Carra Rud once last season to make kick off!)If I''m honest, about 2 minutes - or as long as it took to launch into a horrendous 2 footed tackle to the first player to mug me...[/quote]brellier lasted a few matches...

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im an awful outfield player! im a goalkeeper and dont make any claims to be any good outfield! the only plus side is that at full sprint im still fairly quick so i could rely on 0 footballing ability and raw pace to beat people.. sound like Darren Huckerby actually! :p

jas :)

 

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Many years ago they took a good amateur player and let him train with Liverpool and play in a testimonial (it was the same reality series that saw Sheena Easton as a pub singer pretend to be a cabaret star and then launched her career)

Even in those less fitnesss obsessed days and even platying a testimonial against retired players like Bobby Charlton he was shattered after a few minutes.  The gap is probably much larger than any of us credit sitting on the touchline watching these lazy overweight players shuffle around.

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Well, if any of us were to take one of the striking positions, we might last 45 minutes, at least. In some really drab and dreary matches, the forwards hardly touch the ball at all, and when they do they proceed to fire every shot well wide, or are dispossessed immediately by a defender! Therefore you could run around looking purposeful for 45 minutes, never receiving the ball and thus nobody could tell that you were a rank amateur.

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