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Shack Attack

The A-Z of The Pink 'Un Messageboard

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A

Apologist – If

you have tried and failed to turn a fellow poster around to your point of view

then this word may be used to win any argument. E.g. “Although I understand

that the current board have made mistakes in the past surely you must admit

they have always acted in what they believed was the best interests of the

club” “Typical apologist drivel from

Delia’s chief cheerleader. You make

me ashamed to be a Norwich

fan”.

 

Accountants, The

Guild of Fag Packet – Concerned realists

who have on occasion uncovered concerning levels of off field spending via

the accounts but are regularly shouted down by apologists.

 

Arrdee – Sadly

missed. A true gent and a true City fan. RIP Ray.

 

ASDA – A mystical

kingdom where potential signings can purchase groceries and ponder NCFC facilities whilst deciding whether to

join the club. The journey between this kingdom and Colney is so fiendishly

difficult it often takes upwards of three years to complete.

 

Attack, Shack – Sneering

and sarcastic liberal and patron of the PC

Brigade
. Occasional attempts at humour often poorly received. A poor mans Mister Chops.

 

Angel, City – Great niece of Mary Whitehouse. Tireless campaigner

to remove posts that are a) silly b) multiple c) started by a journalist d) lacking in any mention of

her Hucks. Also campaigns for the return of moderation, Darren Huckerby and slavery.

B 

 

BlyBlyBabes – 1)

Witty headline used by EDP after two goals from Terry Bly helped City knock

Manchester United out of the FA Cup during famous 1959 cup run 2) A riddle

surrounded by a mystery and encased in an enigma. Does anybody know what he’s

talking about? Does he? Who cares. Trying to decipher one of Bly’s posts should

be an entry exam before you’re allowed to post here.

 

Binner – 1) Ipswich fan 2) The last resort if apologist doesn’t work.

C

Cluck – AKA Neil

Cluckcaster. Antagonist/realist who

could start an argument in an empty room. Occasionally made very salient points

but was much more fun when attempting to upset every poster on the board.

 

Chops, Mister – AKA

Monkey Trousers. Theatre impresario most famous for the longest West End run

ever of a Norwich

City
based version of The

Wizard of Oz. Currently filming a reality show for BBC to find the main

character for his remake of Les

Miserables
based on the Milk Cup win of 1985. Working title You’re Valjean

That I Want.  

 

D

Delia – 1)

Saintly cook and fragrant saviour of NCFC without whom the club would not exist.

2) Evil witch hell bent on destroying our

once great club
aided and abetted by apologists

and happy clappy families.

Almost certainly supports Ipswich. (Any poster who fails to agree with either of

these two extremes shall be judged to be a fence

sitter
)

 

Doncaster, Neil – AKA Neil Doomcaster, Doomy,

Darth Donkster. “Does anyone know Neil Doncaster’s e-mail address?” is the most

frequent question in Pink ‘Un history. FACT!!

This request is often made by posters who have spotted a raw Argentine wunderkind on Football Manager and want to tell Mr Doncaster before he is snapped

up by Barcelona.

 

E

 

Effort – AKA

Workrate, Commitment. Arbitrary measure of a players performance in any one

game measured as a percentage and considered more important than skill,

intelligence or technical ability. Anything less than 110% is considered an

unacceptable level of effort and is often associated with loan players. (See also, He

bleeds yellow and green
and Jamie

Lad
)

 

F

First Wizard – Lowestoft resident who stepped out with Delia before she cruelly left him for

Michael Wynn-Jones. Has recently transferred his affections to Jamie Lad safe in the knowledge that

nobody could possibly want to steal him away. Famous for his hexes he despises political correctness, LisaQ and apologists. A sharp sense of humour and

a thick skin means he will laugh off this description without complaint to Web Team – Pete [:D][;)].

 

Football – Sport

in which two teams of eleven players attempt to pass a spherical object into a

rectangular shaped goal more times than the opposition. Occasionally mentioned

here in between posts concerning the accounts and Delia.

 

Free Bet Thread – A

peaceful haven away from the bitching and moaning of every other thread. Set up

by Arrdee and involving grown men

and women gathering round their computer screens on a Saturday and showing an

unnatural interest in results from the Dutch 3rd Division.

 

FACT!! – An

opinion that a poster feels is extremely important.

 

Football Manager – A

tool to help spotty social inadequates impress people with their knowledge of

African playmakers.

 

Filth, The – 1)

See Binner and Ipswich 2) Phrase often used by resident journalist to describe retired police

officer.

 

Fence sitter – Any

poster who refuses to have an opinion on any given subject the moment said

subject is raised for the first time.

 

Facilities – When

new signings are released from ASDA and

interviewed by journalists these are

always the reason they have decided to sign for us. This may be a sad

indictment of what has happened to our

once great club
.

 

G

Gas, The – The nap of Web Team – Pete on the Free

Bet Thread.

 

H

He bleeds yellow and

green – A way of excusing the repeated failings of a misfiring striker. “Jamie Lad may display all the finishing

prowess of a toddler faced with a plate of sprouts but at least he bleeds yellow and green unlike those

loan players.

 

Happy clappy families

Imaginary group of fans who enjoy turning up week in week out to watch Norwich lose.

 

I

Ipswich – Insignificant

town at the other end of the A140 which has two less cathedrals than Norwich. Should be ignored at all costs. (See

also Binner and Filth, The)

 

It’s Not Just

Football – Offshoot of main message board occupied by armchair generals,

communists, conspiracy theorists and Americans. Threads are often moved here at

the behest of City Angel.

 

J

Journalist – 1) Occasional Colchester based visitor to the site who

fishes for information to be sold to the Daily Star via ‘The Girl Upstairs’ and

antagonises retired police officers  2)

Employee of Archant who sits at desk regurgitating information from the

internet rather than asking serious questions about the running of our once great club.

 

Jamie Lad – Striker who displays all the finishing prowess of a

toddler faced with a plate of sprouts but at least he bleeds yellow and green.

 

K

Keep The Faith (KTF) – One of the sides who fought in the Pink Un

Civil War of 1872 under the banner of Lord Nigel Not’Mean of Worthington. Defeated by Worthy Out (WO) at the Battle of Burnley.

 

L

Loan players – A mixed bag of Premiership reserves, foreign

mercenaries and former Binners.  Can be aristocratically named London

based centre backs, Italians not cut out

for The Championship
or jet heeled wingers who go on to become club

legends. (See also Roeder, Glenn)

 

M

Moderation – A bad thing. Until it stopped. Now posters want it to

return. Possibly.

N

Newbie – Any poster with less than 2000 posts. May be patronised

and abused to within an inch of their lives regardless of whether a good point

was made or not.

 

Not cut out for The Championship – Otherwise known as falling out

with Glenn Roeder.

 

O

Our once great club – Four words used to describe a club who has

won the League Cup twice and got into Europe

once. There appears to be no irony in this phrase.

P

Political correctness – 1) Complex, far from perfect and oft

misunderstood process attempting to enable all faiths, colours and creeds to

live in some sort of multicultural harmony. 2) Catch all phrase to describe

something a poster disagrees with (e.g. “Why the hell do we have to put up with

women at football matches. It’s political correctness gone mad”) but can’t

otherwise explain. Mentioned an extraordinarily amount of times considering

this is a football message board.

 

Protest – Quarterly event arranged by realists but mysteriously cancelled at the last minute due to

canine illness, nasty shaving rash or really tricky English homework.

 

PC Brigade – Mythical body who stop Guy Gibson’s Dog mentioning

certain words. Offices based in ASDA next door to the Grammar Gestapo and the

Spelling Stasi.

 

Q

Q, Lisa – Relative newcomer to the message board whose blogs

provoke more responses than any other blogger. This is absolutely, definitely,

in no way because she is a woman. The nemesis of First Wizard.

 

R

Roeder, Glenn – Sour faced, Sarsons sucking ex-NCFC manager obsessed with loan players.  Signed decent players before deciding

they were not cut out for The

Championship.

 

Realist – Meaningless label attached to self satisfied and smug

posters. By themselves obviously.

S

Spine Road – Something bad often mentioned by The Guild of Fag Packet Accountants.

 

Smudger – Absent for the last few weeks but strong rumours he will

return on Easter Sunday as the second coming of Christ when God smites the apologists and the fence sitters.

 

T

Team Gunn – Bryan Gunn, John Deehan, Ian Butterworth and Ian Crook.

The biggest gamble in NCFC history or a stroke of genius? If they’re honest

with themselves even the realists don’t

know.

U

Uncle Fester – Affectionate nickname given to head of Team Gunn.

 

V

Vertigo – Hitchcock classic conspicuous by it’s absence from the

Pink ‘Un Top Ten Films thread in It’s Not

Just Football
[:$].

W

Worthy Out (WO) – The winning side at the Battle of Burnley in

1872.

 

Web Team – Pete – Formerly in charge of moderation. Set to become busy again next week during school

holidays.

X

 

X-Factor – I once saw this mentioned on It’s Not Just Football [:$].

Y

 

Yoghurt – Dairy based snack favoured by fence sitters.

Z

Z-List – Term used to describe one of the most well known cooks in

the country with twenty books and seventeen television series to her name by realists.

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Nothing worth watching on telly tonight then!!

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[quote user="Shack Attack"]

A


Apologist – If you have tried and failed to turn a fellow poster around to your point of view then this word may be used to win any argument. E.g. “Although I understand that the current board have made mistakes in the past surely you must admit they have always acted in what they believed was the best interests of the club” “Typical apologist drivel from Delia’s chief cheerleader. You make me ashamed to be a Norwich fan”.

 

Accountants, The Guild of Fag Packet – Concerned realists who have on occasion uncovered concerning levels of off field spending via the accounts but are regularly shouted down by apologists.

 

Arrdee – Sadly missed. A true gent and a true City fan. RIP Ray.

 

ASDA – A mystical kingdom where potential signings can purchase groceries and ponder NCFC facilities whilst deciding whether to join the club. The journey between this kingdom and Colney is so fiendishly difficult it often takes upwards of three years to complete.

 

Attack, Shack – Sneering and sarcastic liberal and patron of the PC Brigade. Occasional attempts at humour often poorly received. A poor mans Mister Chops.

 

Angel, City – Great niece of Mary Whitehouse. Tireless campaigner to remove posts that are a) silly b) multiple c) started by a journalist d) lacking in any mention of her Hucks. Also campaigns for the return of moderation, Darren Huckerby and slavery.


B 

 

BlyBlyBabes – 1) Witty headline used by EDP after two goals from Terry Bly helped City knock Manchester United out of the FA Cup during famous 1959 cup run 2) A riddle surrounded by a mystery and encased in an enigma. Does anybody know what he’s talking about? Does he? Who cares. Trying to decipher one of Bly’s posts should be an entry exam before you’re allowed to post here.

 

Binner – 1) Ipswich fan 2) The last resort if apologist doesn’t work.


C


Cluck – AKA Neil Cluckcaster. Antagonist/realist who could start an argument in an empty room. Occasionally made very salient points but was much more fun when attempting to upset every poster on the board.

 

Chops, Mister – AKA Monkey Trousers. Theatre impresario most famous for the longest West End run ever of a Norwich City based version of The Wizard of Oz. Currently filming a reality show for BBC to find the main character for his remake of Les Miserables based on the Milk Cup win of 1985. Working title You’re Valjean That I Want.  

 

D


Delia – 1) Saintly cook and fragrant saviour of NCFC without whom the club would not exist. 2) Evil witch hell bent on destroying our once great club aided and abetted by apologists and happy clappy families. Almost certainly supports Ipswich. (Any poster who fails to agree with either of these two extremes shall be judged to be a fence sitter)

 

Doncaster, Neil – AKA Neil Doomcaster, Doomy, Darth Donkster. “Does anyone know Neil Doncaster’s e-mail address?” is the most frequent question in Pink ‘Un history. FACT!! This request is often made by posters who have spotted a raw Argentine wunderkind on Football Manager and want to tell Mr Doncaster before he is snapped up by Barcelona.

 

E

 

Effort – AKA Workrate, Commitment. Arbitrary measure of a players performance in any one game measured as a percentage and considered more important than skill, intelligence or technical ability. Anything less than 110% is considered an unacceptable level of effort and is often associated with loan players. (See also, He bleeds yellow and green and Jamie Lad)

 

F


First Wizard – Lowestoft resident who stepped out with Delia before she cruelly left him for Michael Wynn-Jones. Has recently transferred his affections to Jamie Lad safe in the knowledge that nobody could possibly want to steal him away. Famous for his hexes he despises political correctness, LisaQ and apologists. A sharp sense of humour and a thick skin means he will laugh off this description without complaint to Web Team – Pete [:D][;)].

 

Football – Sport in which two teams of eleven players attempt to pass a spherical object into a rectangular shaped goal more times than the opposition. Occasionally mentioned here in between posts concerning the accounts and Delia.

 

Free Bet Thread – A peaceful haven away from the bitching and moaning of every other thread. Set up by Arrdee and involving grown men and women gathering round their computer screens on a Saturday and showing an unnatural interest in results from the Dutch 3rd Division.

 

FACT!! – An opinion that a poster feels is extremely important.

 

Football Manager – A tool to help spotty social inadequates impress people with their knowledge of African playmakers.

 

Filth, The – 1) See Binner and Ipswich 2) Phrase often used by resident journalist to describe retired police officer.

 

Fence sitter – Any poster who refuses to have an opinion on any given subject the moment said subject is raised for the first time.

 

Facilities – When new signings are released from ASDA and interviewed by journalists these are always the reason they have decided to sign for us. This may be a sad indictment of what has happened to our once great club.

 

G


Gas, The – The nap of Web Team – Pete on the Free Bet Thread.

 

H


He bleeds yellow and green – A way of excusing the repeated failings of a misfiring striker. “Jamie Lad may display all the finishing prowess of a toddler faced with a plate of sprouts but at least he bleeds yellow and green unlike those loan players.

 

Happy clappy families – Imaginary group of fans who enjoy turning up week in week out to watch Norwich lose.

 

I


Ipswich – Insignificant town at the other end of the A140 which has two less cathedrals than Norwich. Should be ignored at all costs. (See also Binner and Filth, The)

 

It’s Not Just Football – Offshoot of main message board occupied by armchair generals, communists, conspiracy theorists and Americans. Threads are often moved here at the behest of City Angel.

 

J


Journalist – 1) Occasional Colchester based visitor to the site who fishes for information to be sold to the Daily Star via ‘The Girl Upstairs’ and antagonises retired police officers  2) Employee of Archant who sits at desk regurgitating information from the internet rather than asking serious questions about the running of our once great club.

 

Jamie Lad – Striker who displays all the finishing prowess of a toddler faced with a plate of sprouts but at least he bleeds yellow and green.

 

K


Keep The Faith (KTF) – One of the sides who fought in the Pink Un Civil War of 1872 under the banner of Lord Nigel Not’Mean of Worthington. Defeated by Worthy Out (WO) at the Battle of Burnley.

 

L


Loan players – A mixed bag of Premiership reserves, foreign mercenaries and former Binners.  Can be aristocratically named London based centre backs, Italians not cut out for The Championship or jet heeled wingers who go on to become club legends. (See also Roeder, Glenn)

 

M


Moderation – A bad thing. Until it stopped. Now posters want it to return. Possibly.


N


Newbie – Any poster with less than 2000 posts. May be patronised and abused to within an inch of their lives regardless of whether a good point was made or not.

 

Not cut out for The Championship – Otherwise known as falling out with Glenn Roeder.

 

O


Our once great club – Four words used to describe a club who has won the League Cup twice and got into Europe once. There appears to be no irony in this phrase.


P


Political correctness – 1) Complex, far from perfect and oft misunderstood process attempting to enable all faiths, colours and creeds to live in some sort of multicultural harmony. 2) Catch all phrase to describe something a poster disagrees with (e.g. “Why the hell do we have to put up with women at football matches. It’s political correctness gone mad”) but can’t otherwise explain. Mentioned an extraordinarily amount of times considering this is a football message board.

 

Protest – Quarterly event arranged by realists but mysteriously cancelled at the last minute due to canine illness, nasty shaving rash or really tricky English homework.

 

PC Brigade – Mythical body who stop Guy Gibson’s Dog mentioning certain words. Offices based in ASDA next door to the Grammar Gestapo and the Spelling Stasi.

 

Q


Q, Lisa – Relative newcomer to the message board whose blogs provoke more responses than any other blogger. This is absolutely, definitely, in no way because she is a woman. The nemesis of First Wizard.

 

R


Roeder, Glenn – Sour faced, Sarsons sucking ex-NCFC manager obsessed with loan players.  Signed decent players before deciding they were not cut out for The Championship.

 

Realist – Meaningless label attached to self satisfied and smug posters. By themselves obviously.


S


Spine Road – Something bad often mentioned by The Guild of Fag Packet Accountants.

 

Smudger – Absent for the last few weeks but strong rumours he will return on Easter Sunday as the second coming of Christ when God smites the apologists and the fence sitters.

 

T


Team Gunn – Bryan Gunn, John Deehan, Ian Butterworth and Ian Crook. The biggest gamble in NCFC history or a stroke of genius? If they’re honest with themselves even the realists don’t know.


U


Uncle Fester – Affectionate nickname given to head of Team Gunn.

 

V


Vertigo – Hitchcock classic conspicuous by it’s absence from the Pink ‘Un Top Ten Films thread in It’s Not Just Football [:$].


W


Worthy Out (WO) – The winning side at the Battle of Burnley in 1872.

 

Web Team – Pete – Formerly in charge of moderation. Set to become busy again next week during school holidays.


X

 

X-Factor – I once saw this mentioned on It’s Not Just Football [:$].


Y

 

Yoghurt – Dairy based snack favoured by fence sitters.


Z


Z-List – Term used to describe one of the most well known cooks in the country with twenty books and seventeen television series to her name by realists.

[/quote]that was fun and a good chuckle...cheers S A [Y] OH THERE COULD HAVE BEEN ALOT MORE ADDED[;)]

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I was feeling flattered to be mentioned...

...and then I realised you probably didn''t have any other entries for ''Q''

[;)]

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Quite amusing Shack Attack, must have took some time.

How about adding Q for Quote? As in something that fills up the page and is not really necessary when replying? 

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Good work! [Y]You missed Top 10s, as in Top 10 Albums of All Time or Top 10 Films of All Time, soon to be accompanied by Top 10 Cheesy Snacks and Top 10 Scientific Papers in Support of Global Warming... um, of All Time.

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Excellent work.

Surely "W" should have a entry for Watling, Geoffrey - Former Chairman and saviour (not once but twice) of OUR great Football Club. [:D] 

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Guess Shack Attack isn''t one of my biggest fans [:D]

Good post, made me smile [:)]

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This should be stickied! Classic.I agree Q could be for quote - the irritating non-matching quotes error message. [:@]

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Quality [Y][*]Cort, Carl - Former professional footballer, now turned professional statue that was trapped in an unknown Norwich based ASDA store for several years before being liberated by Glenn Roeder and now being trapped in Norwich City Reserves.Norwich City Reserves - Luton Town FC, sort of.

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good post, it will enable all newbies to get up to speed with all things Pink''Un.

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A good laugh Shack, although to be picky, my nemises has, and always will be,Yankee Canary![:D]

LQ isn''t even on my radar..........................yet!

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Thanks everyone, glad you liked it. I started it on Tuesday whilst the missus was watching Holby City [|-)] but found I just kept adding more and more. Made a decision to finish it last night but I probably could have added more.

LQ - I won''t insult your intelligence by claiming that i had five different entries for ''Q'' but chose you.

CA - It''s not that I''m ''not a fan'' of yours. I just find your hectoring towards anyone who starts a duplicate thread mildly amusing. It''s quite sweet in a way [:D].

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