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Berks canary

after 49 years - it's goodnight from me

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My father took me to see my first game at Carrow Road 49 years ago for my 5th birthday - I was 54 yesterday and it was in effect the day that for the first time in all these years we condemned ourselves to the third tier of the football league . Although i have lived in Reading for the past 20 years , i have remained an avid City fan . EVERY Saturday afternoon is spent from 2pm to 6pm listening to the match via the internet and Canary call . Well no more - From today i will be filling my Saturdays doing other things - golf , walking the dog , even shopping with my wife ! I can simply no longer put myself through the miserydepression i have felt most Saturday nights for the past 4 years . Although NCFC will be forever in my blood they simply do not deserve my or any of our long suffering supporters support . What has happened this year should have been avoided - I blame almost in full Glen Roeder for his arrogance and complete mismanagement.

It was Roeder who decided that our best player Huckerby should be booted out of the club for no apparent reason other than his arrogance - it was Roeder who despite knowing that Dion was leaving in April , also kicked out any other striker we had at the club ( Strivaka , Martin, Chris Brown ) and didn''t replace any of them - He left us with the embarrassment of fielding a midfielder Russell as our main striker for much of the season.In fact we did not have any recognised goalscorer until Lita came and without him we would already be adrift . It was Roeder who sold Shackell to Wolves and didn''t replace - so much so that we were left playing midfielders as Centre Backs for much of the season .It was Roeder who filled our ranks with loan players who would not have the stomach for a relegation fight . HOW ON EARTH DID HE EXPECT TO WIN FOOTBALL GAMES !!!

I do not think Gunny is up to it but the die was already cast - the fact he got the job on the back of one win was typical of the shallow cost cutting thinking of the board. It is frankly a disgrace that with 25000 crowds each week we seem to be outsmarted by the likes of Donacaster , Preston and Blackpool and many other clubs with far less resources!

So i am not happy to say the club have lost my support - i cannot support Reading or any other club - but Saturday''s at least will be a lot less painful from now on . After 49 years i''m hanging up my boots !

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I totally agree with the post BC and I feel you will get some flack from the fans with their heads in the clouds. Its not the losing that does it for me, more the fact that we don''t even compete but this has been allowed to happen due to the boards ''doing it on the cheap'' way of running the club.

The way Roeder was allowed to rip the heart out of the club,whilst the board just sat by and let it happen suggests that they gave him too much control or that secretly they wanted the removal of Huckerby and Dublin so to reduce the wages bill, but to have no plan B to replace them with so we started the season with no recognised structure is tantamount to self destruction on a grand scale.

I am similar to you in that I am losing faith in football especially NCFC because of the mis-management of the club. I don''t see Gunny as a manager,he should have been at most been made an asst manager as he gets on with the players and another manager with the experience of the situation brought in but again we have done it on the cheap.

 

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Berks

You should email this post to Doncaster.  It truely reflects just how so many of us are feeling.  I cannot stop supporting my team though (30+ years as a season ticket holder) and I bet the fist thing you do when you get home from shopping with the wife will be to check the score.  So, your Saturday nights will still be sh1t!!

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This is all so very sad - I really hope that change does come about and you can begin to enjoy your Saturdays once more.

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As others will agree-losing matches isn''t the issue.

Its the bigger picture that is leading to so much disillusionment. I don''t blame Astrodyne at all-you pay the money, you give the support, surely there is some expectancy of a little bit of a return there?

We could go down, play the kids and some free transfers and journeymen next season, and I''m sure if they all gave everything and were very clearly seen, every week, to be doing just that, few would complain at the "now" and they would have support-the anger would still be directed at those who had fiddled sufficiently enough to allow our little Rome to burn to the ground and lead to that situation in the first place.

The mentality of appointing Gunny in the hope that it would diffuse supporter anger is beyond belief but nothing surprises me now.

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I feel exactly the same as you BC, after 36 years of going to practically every home game I''ve had enough. I will attend on a casual basis next season but even though it won''t be easy I''m going to try and detach myself from all things NCFC because it hurts so much to see the club I love being allowed to get in such a state. As soon as this board have gone and there''s hope for the future I will be renewing my st again like a shot.

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As i posted last week i didnt renew my season ticket and will not be doing so as i agree with what you have posted bc

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Completely agree Berks.

I feel the same way and I don''t even listen to it anymore... I just check the score ... :-(

Still 17000 pl***ers renewed their seasonticket just like that... unbelievable!

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ROBFLECK wrote the following post at 08/03/2009 11:37 AM:

Completely agree Berks.

I feel the same way and I don''t even listen to it anymore... I just check the score ... :-(

Still 17000 pl***ers renewed their seasonticket just like that... unbelievable!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry, you cannot call them that. All they are doing is renewing so they can support the team they love! You may not be renewing but there are a lot of people out there who will support us through thick & thin. These 17,000 are those people so dont call them pl***ers!

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Yep that is me too! Can''t see the point of putting myself through the agony anymore. Those who run the club don''t deserve the supporters they have.

If a club is mis-managed and has no leadership or direction from the top, it filters all the way through the club. That is exactly what has happened.

Clueless!

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I am one of those Pl--kers, London based, but looking forward to moving to a new part of the Ground with a group of friends (mainly to get away from the negativity around where I sit now). The above Posters appear genuine, so I have no beef with you re your decisions. Through all the disappointment, and angst, and let us be honest, we have more to come (not even mentioning humiliation potential at the Gippeswyk away game), I feel sanguine and philosophical, as Football is all about highs and lows, the drama of a relegation fight, and in a sense loyalty to the Club we love is increased in these dire times. It could be possible that to ''have'' a Club at all will feel like a victory in this recession. Maybe we can avoid the drop, but more likely we can push for a top 6 finish next year, and for me games against Orient, Millwall?, Southend, Colchester, etc are all full of interest (and not so far to travel). 

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....My father took me to see my first game at Carrow Road 49 years ago for my 5th birthday - I was 54 .... blame almost in full Glen Roeder ...From today i will be filling my Saturdays doing other things........................................I just knew I had seen you somewhere before - Small World Yeah?Seriously though why do you blame Roeder and not your dad cos he started it all.How many times have you threatened to leave your wife?  Truth is thats what you would love to do but cannot cos they are both ingrained into your soul.Look at it this way - Forever is a very long time and they both need you so stay.To alleviate the pain on results day simply put £100 on Norwich to lose and whatever happens you will get a positive vibe from one or the other. One way you will end up depressed and cash rich the other way your wife will leave you for spending the mortgage money on gambling but your boyhood team will be winning.

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What is clear about the amzing ST renewal figure is just how important this club is to its community. As is the case with the vast majority of fans our club picks us and not vice-vers. I am and always will be a Canaries fan andwill follow them whatever division they are in, league or non-league. However that doesn''t make me a supporter of the board nor does it make others that either. One of the things that appears to have come out of the NCISA meeting is that the board''s representatives were left in no doubt that the sale of 17000 STs was not to be taken as a vote of confidence in them. The fans support NCFC not necessarily the board or management of the day.

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It''s goodnight to you........and good riddance!!!!!!!

Don''t agree with your emotional waffle at all. You say you have been glued to your radio for years. Big deal!!!!!!!!!

I live just 15 miles from you,am ten years older,have held a season ticket for over forty years,and also go to most away matches.

I will be doing the same next season.......and the next.  I could have had a nice villa in the sun ,on the money I have spent following Norwich over the years.

Every game is an eight hour experience from west London.  And quite expensive,with the petrol,food and drink.  But it''s been worth it.

Yes it is a shambles at the moment,and the situation has been in decline for some years now. We know the faults,and there are many. Doesn''t need an Einstein to tell us.

But it''s either in your blood or it isn''t.  I will go on watching my team no matter what division they are in. This is not just blind faith. Just what I enjoy doing despite the

ups and (mainly) downs.

So suggest you go shopping on a Sat afternoon,have a latte and a blueberry muffin,and listen for the Man Utd result on your   ipod.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Hold on ''fella, BC has a choice what to do with his time and money, it doesn''t mean that the club aren''t in his blood, or he doesn''t care.

And maybe, as things are right now, he can think of putting the money to better use, football is expensive and if you aren''t enjoying it, if its leaving you disillusioned and fed up, why spend it every week?

Despite what Bill Shankly said, it isn''t a matter of life and death!

I''ll still go to games when I can, is it in the blood, I don''t know, but I support Norwich and I love Norfolk, so its what I do. If I looked at it logically, I would probably spend the time doing something else instead, but since when was football logical?

Everything is cyclical, I don''t really care about the cyclical nature of global warming as its inevitable and will occur no matter what anyone does, but the cyclical nature of Norwich City, although still inevitable, is something we can see through, you will, I will, BC won''t-at the moment. But its all about choice, so don''t call it emotional waffle, he too is feeling the illogical nature of football, because it makes us feel this way, but FFS-its just football!

Mad isn''t it?

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Horrific to hear people talking about the club in such a way.... I am only 23 so cannot begin to comprehend what it must be like having supported for that long and giving it all up. Obviously you must love the club and it isn''t an easy decision doing this. But i suppose there becomes a time when you can''t take it anymore. (now is that time-if any...)p.s. I agree, you should email your post to Doncaster. I don''t know his email address, but am sure somebody on here can tell you.

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Your post has struck a cord with me reference your dad taking you to your first game.

I''ve been supporting Norwich for 31 years, my first match was when i was ten. I''ve had a season ticket since 91 and have had some great times home and away. I''ve been taking my son for the last two years and this renewal was the first time i have considered jacking it in for all the points mentioned above. However, my boy (who is seven) loves it, all he''s seen is c**p football and not many wins, he''s dissapointed, but still asks me on a saturday, is it football this afternoon dad?  So he''s the one who is keeping me going. He''ll probably blame me later in life for starting all the misery, but i admire his loyalty to the team and at seven he doesn''t understand the poor management of our club and the way it''s being run into the ground, which i''m extremely sad about,  he just enjoys going with his dad on a saturday afternoon. I hope for his sake the good times return, i doubt it, but i hope it does................         

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I am a similar age to you BC, in a similar position and therefore in many ways I can understand your feelings. However, getting relegated to League 1 is not the end of the World. After all, it ain''t as though we won''t still have a football team to follow and matches to look forward to every week. Sure, they might not be playing in the grade that we would prefer or wish for but that probably applies to 95% of all football fans. I agree that there are lots of things wrong that need to be addressed but in all honesty I don''t see what good it would do if everyone started deserting the Club now. Give it a few weeks into next season and you''ll soon forget about the Premiership & Championship.

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55 seasons and still going strong.

I am sure you are all aware by now that I have been unhappy with the board and the owners for a long time. However unlike Smudger, Cluck and others I have never withdrawn my support.

Call me a mug, but I can''t think of any reason other than ill health that would prevent me from attending CR. I''ve seen 3rd Division football before and can still remember the season we had to apply for re-election to the Football League , so although it will be very sad, I will still be there next season.

Hope springs eternal. OTBC.

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I saw my first game at Carrow road, March 1975, a 0 - 0 draw with Sunderland with Phil Boyer getting sent off. For me this is the  lowest I have felt about Norwich City in all that time, and that includes the infamous Chase Out period. I am I think a pretty optimistic person, but I can not remember a time when I was more disalusioned about Norwich City. I am a fan, I will remain a fan I guess. 

I think for me this season it has not been the fact that we keep loosing, but it''s the manner of how we keep loosing. It''s the attitude of the club from the pitch to the Board room. We have been in relegation fights before. And that is what they were. Relegation fights and scraps. With players who believed in the club and who we could in turn believe in. This season the white flag was waved ages ago with the failure to invest in the future and sign on full time players and instead rely on this ridiculous loan policy. There is a saying that goes ''you shall reap what you sow,'' and Norwich City is doing just that. We are paying the price for the total lack of vision and total mismanagement carried out by Roeder and the board during the summer and onward.

The decline of Norwich City since the Premiership days and the surrender at Fulham has been painful to witness. This season that decline has been in overdrive.

I can take loosing a football match, but when we keep on loosing in the manner that we are loosing games at the moment it is hard to stomach. 

Even Doncaster''s drivel about crowd size and wages wears thin when we get out played, out bossed, out fought, by a team such as Blackpool who had a gate of just over the 7,000. They can afford better quality than us. Why? It beggars belief.

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[quote user="Berks canary"]

My father took me to see my first game at Carrow Road 49 years ago for my 5th birthday - I was 54 yesterday and it was in effect the day that for the first time in all these years we condemned ourselves to the third tier of the football league . Although i have lived in Reading for the past 20 years , i have remained an avid City fan . EVERY Saturday afternoon is spent from 2pm to 6pm listening to the match via the internet and Canary call . Well no more - From today i will be filling my Saturdays doing other things - golf , walking the dog , even shopping with my wife ! I can simply no longer put myself through the miserydepression i have felt most Saturday nights for the past 4 years . Although NCFC will be forever in my blood they simply do not deserve my or any of our long suffering supporters support . What has happened this year should have been avoided - I blame almost in full Glen Roeder for his arrogance and complete mismanagement.

It was Roeder who decided that our best player Huckerby should be booted out of the club for no apparent reason other than his arrogance - it was Roeder who despite knowing that Dion was leaving in April , also kicked out any other striker we had at the club ( Strivaka , Martin, Chris Brown ) and didn''t replace any of them - He left us with the embarrassment of fielding a midfielder Russell as our main striker for much of the season.In fact we did not have any recognised goalscorer until Lita came and without him we would already be adrift . It was Roeder who sold Shackell to Wolves and didn''t replace - so much so that we were left playing midfielders as Centre Backs for much of the season .It was Roeder who filled our ranks with loan players who would not have the stomach for a relegation fight . HOW ON EARTH DID HE EXPECT TO WIN FOOTBALL GAMES !!!

I do not think Gunny is up to it but the die was already cast - the fact he got the job on the back of one win was typical of the shallow cost cutting thinking of the board. It is frankly a disgrace that with 25000 crowds each week we seem to be outsmarted by the likes of Donacaster , Preston and Blackpool and many other clubs with far less resources!

So i am not happy to say the club have lost my support - i cannot support Reading or any other club - but Saturday''s at least will be a lot less painful from now on . After 49 years i''m hanging up my boots !

[/quote]

As Ricardo said to me on another thread....NCFC will still be there when Smith has long gone.

If like me you''ve sat through those endless dire matches of the 60''s and 70''s without walking away....you''ll be back again when the soul of the club is returned. I will be... but only then.

Smith and the rest of them AREN''T the club.... they simply control it for now. It may be painful watching NCFC as it is today suffer...but the joy of watching Smith getting duly slaughtered will go at least some way towards making up for it.

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[quote user="Neil Cluckcaster"][quote user="Berks canary"]

My father took me to see my first game at Carrow Road 49 years ago for my 5th birthday - I was 54 yesterday and it was in effect the day that for the first time in all these years we condemned ourselves to the third tier of the football league . Although i have lived in Reading for the past 20 years , i have remained an avid City fan . EVERY Saturday afternoon is spent from 2pm to 6pm listening to the match via the internet and Canary call . Well no more - From today i will be filling my Saturdays doing other things - golf , walking the dog , even shopping with my wife ! I can simply no longer put myself through the miserydepression i have felt most Saturday nights for the past 4 years . Although NCFC will be forever in my blood they simply do not deserve my or any of our long suffering supporters support . What has happened this year should have been avoided - I blame almost in full Glen Roeder for his arrogance and complete mismanagement.

It was Roeder who decided that our best player Huckerby should be booted out of the club for no apparent reason other than his arrogance - it was Roeder who despite knowing that Dion was leaving in April , also kicked out any other striker we had at the club ( Strivaka , Martin, Chris Brown ) and didn''t replace any of them - He left us with the embarrassment of fielding a midfielder Russell as our main striker for much of the season.In fact we did not have any recognised goalscorer until Lita came and without him we would already be adrift . It was Roeder who sold Shackell to Wolves and didn''t replace - so much so that we were left playing midfielders as Centre Backs for much of the season .It was Roeder who filled our ranks with loan players who would not have the stomach for a relegation fight . HOW ON EARTH DID HE EXPECT TO WIN FOOTBALL GAMES !!!

I do not think Gunny is up to it but the die was already cast - the fact he got the job on the back of one win was typical of the shallow cost cutting thinking of the board. It is frankly a disgrace that with 25000 crowds each week we seem to be outsmarted by the likes of Donacaster , Preston and Blackpool and many other clubs with far less resources!

So i am not happy to say the club have lost my support - i cannot support Reading or any other club - but Saturday''s at least will be a lot less painful from now on . After 49 years i''m hanging up my boots !

[/quote]

As Ricardo said to me on another thread....NCFC will still be there when Smith has long gone.

If like me you''ve sat through those endless dire matches of the 60''s and 70''s without walking away....you''ll be back again when the soul of the club is returned. I will be... but only then.

Smith and the rest of them AREN''T the club.... they simply control it for now. It may be painful watching NCFC as it is today suffer...but the joy of watching Smith getting duly slaughtered will go at least some way towards making up for it.

[/quote]

Agree 100% with that. I can only add that I hope it happens soon.

 

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BC, I admire your devotion to the cause, and respect your decision, but starting a thread that encourages Cluck back on this board? Unforgiveable! [:(]

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[quote user="Nuff Said"]BC, I admire your devotion to the cause, and respect your decision, but starting a thread that encourages Cluck back on this board? Unforgiveable! [:(]

[/quote]

But it shows that Cluck''s heart is with the club although not with the present owners.

He''s far from being alone in that respect.

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[quote user="Flinty"]Horrific to hear people talking about the club in such a way.... I am only 23 so cannot begin to comprehend what it must be like having supported for that long and giving it all up.

Obviously you must love the club and it isn''t an easy decision doing this. But i suppose there becomes a time when you can''t take it anymore. (now is that time-if any...)

p.s. I agree, you should email your post to Doncaster. I don''t know his email address, but am sure somebody on here can tell you.
[/quote]

 

I''ve already emailed Doncaster with a very similar email. Frankly he had nothing to say in reply. I suspect he knows he has made a crap job of running the club and has no logical answer to the plight of supporters who have been around a lot longer than him.

It will be very sweet to see him chucked out when that time comes.. and just hope it happens whilst there is something worth saving!

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[quote user="Mind the gap"]

It''s goodnight to you........and good riddance!!!!!!!

Don''t agree with your emotional waffle at all. You say you have been glued to your radio for years. Big deal!!!!!!!!!

I live just 15 miles from you,am ten years older,have held a season ticket for over forty years,and also go to most away matches.

I will be doing the same next season.......and the next.  I could have

had a nice villa in the sun ,on the money I have spent following Norwich over the years.

Every game is an eight hour experience from west London.  And quite expensive,with the petrol,food and drink.  But it''s been worth it.

Yes it is a shambles at the moment,and the situation has been in decline for some years now. We know the faults,and there are many. Doesn''t need an Einstein to tell us.

But it''s either in your blood or it isn''t.  I will go on watching my team no matter what division they are in. This is not just blind faith. Just what I enjoy doing despite the

ups and (mainly) downs.

So suggest you go shopping on a Sat afternoon,have a latte and a blueberry muffin,and listen for the Man Utd result on your   ipod.

 

 

 

Its people like you that are wasting and throwing your money into a botomless pit of under achievement. Theres nothing wrong with supporting your team, but the 17000 people who bought season tickets are making it look like they back delia and this tosh.

Like someone else on here said, it doesnt matter as much if were trying and losing, but when were just rolling over and taking up the arse, how could anyone want to fund whats currently going on, especially in the current climate. Its nothing short of day light robbery.

 

 

 

[/quote]

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Agree with most of what you say Berks particularly the spot on assessment of Roedernowheres almost criminal bad decision making!

 

But others start having a go at the 17000 ''renewers'' is out of order!

 

No sane Norwich fan will be happy with our current predicament!

 

I have renewed cause thats what I''ve always done, watching home Norwich games has been a big pastime of mine and its a habit I don''t want to break, I don''t go there cause we have Delia as majority shareholder, in fact I was a fan before she was wearing her blue s*um rossete on the TV in 1978 or because of whos manager or whether the teams cr*p or not!

 

At this moment in time I support NCFC and try to support the team in their huge task to stay up but while I respect thge board for putting their money I don''t support their underachievement and don''t enjoy the teams failiure!

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Mind the gap says that he does not agree with BC and says ''Good riddance''...well if you don''t stand for something you''ll fall for anything and I salute him for his stand rather than those saying its in your blood and they are the true supporters putting up with the dire cr*p served up by the club.

You say that every game is an 8 hour experience from West London,obviously you don''t go to the QPR or Charlton games then? You also don''t say why you don''t go to all the games when you say its in your blood, is this your time for your latte and blueberry muffin?

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[quote user="Berks canary"]

My father took me to see my first game at Carrow Road 49 years ago for my 5th birthday - I was 54 yesterday and it was in effect the day that for the first time in all these years we condemned ourselves to the third tier of the football league . Although i have lived in Reading for the past 20 years , i have remained an avid City fan . EVERY Saturday afternoon is spent from 2pm to 6pm listening to the match via the internet and Canary call . Well no more - From today i will be filling my Saturdays doing other things - golf , walking the dog , even shopping with my wife ! I can simply no longer put myself through the miserydepression i have felt most Saturday nights for the past 4 years . Although NCFC will be forever in my blood they simply do not deserve my or any of our long suffering supporters support . What has happened this year should have been avoided - I blame almost in full Glen Roeder for his arrogance and complete mismanagement.

It was Roeder who decided that our best player Huckerby should be booted out of the club for no apparent reason other than his arrogance - it was Roeder who despite knowing that Dion was leaving in April , also kicked out any other striker we had at the club ( Strivaka , Martin, Chris Brown ) and didn''t replace any of them - He left us with the embarrassment of fielding a midfielder Russell as our main striker for much of the season.In fact we did not have any recognised goalscorer until Lita came and without him we would already be adrift . It was Roeder who sold Shackell to Wolves and didn''t replace - so much so that we were left playing midfielders as Centre Backs for much of the season .It was Roeder who filled our ranks with loan players who would not have the stomach for a relegation fight . HOW ON EARTH DID HE EXPECT TO WIN FOOTBALL GAMES !!!

I do not think Gunny is up to it but the die was already cast - the fact he got the job on the back of one win was typical of the shallow cost cutting thinking of the board. It is frankly a disgrace that with 25000 crowds each week we seem to be outsmarted by the likes of Donacaster , Preston and Blackpool and many other clubs with far less resources!

So i am not happy to say the club have lost my support - i cannot support Reading or any other club - but Saturday''s at least will be a lot less painful from now on . After 49 years i''m hanging up my boots !

[/quote]

 

great post. My desire and excitement for NCFC was slowly ripped apart during our dire mid-90s period. It was reborn during our play-off and promotion seasons...and the arrival of Hucks really energised me. However, since relegation in 2005, it just doesnt bother me anymore when we lose. As a kid I would be distraught when we lost...not any more. Havent really ''cared'' for years. Shambles of a club.

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[quote user="Berks canary"]

My father took me to see my first game at Carrow Road 49 years ago for my 5th birthday - I was 54 yesterday and it was in effect the day that for the first time in all these years we condemned ourselves to the third tier of the football league . Although i have lived in Reading for the past 20 years , i have remained an avid City fan . EVERY Saturday afternoon is spent from 2pm to 6pm listening to the match via the internet and Canary call . Well no more - From today i will be filling my Saturdays doing other things - golf , walking the dog , even shopping with my wife ! I can simply no longer put myself through the miserydepression i have felt most Saturday nights for the past 4 years . Although NCFC will be forever in my blood they simply do not deserve my or any of our long suffering supporters support . What has happened this year should have been avoided - I blame almost in full Glen Roeder for his arrogance and complete mismanagement.

It was Roeder who decided that our best player Huckerby should be booted out of the club for no apparent reason other than his arrogance - it was Roeder who despite knowing that Dion was leaving in April , also kicked out any other striker we had at the club ( Strivaka , Martin, Chris Brown ) and didn''t replace any of them - He left us with the embarrassment of fielding a midfielder Russell as our main striker for much of the season.In fact we did not have any recognised goalscorer until Lita came and without him we would already be adrift . It was Roeder who sold Shackell to Wolves and didn''t replace - so much so that we were left playing midfielders as Centre Backs for much of the season .It was Roeder who filled our ranks with loan players who would not have the stomach for a relegation fight . HOW ON EARTH DID HE EXPECT TO WIN FOOTBALL GAMES !!!

I do not think Gunny is up to it but the die was already cast - the fact he got the job on the back of one win was typical of the shallow cost cutting thinking of the board. It is frankly a disgrace that with 25000 crowds each week we seem to be outsmarted by the likes of Donacaster , Preston and Blackpool and many other clubs with far less resources!

So i am not happy to say the club have lost my support - i cannot support Reading or any other club - but Saturday''s at least will be a lot less painful from now on . After 49 years i''m hanging up my boots !

[/quote]

You said it all for me BC, thanks and a top post, its having no hope which hurts me most.

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