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Beaker

Class of 2008/9 - You bunch of spineless, gutless, overpaid tossers!

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Evening all. Right heres my overview of the worst NCFC team in living memory. Feel free to add your own comments on players ive missed.

 

David Marshall – What an overrated, chocolate wristed calamity of a keeper. Couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery.

 

Jesus saves: Marshall doesnt.

 

Jon Otsemobor – What an absolute disgrace. Should be ashamed and embarrassed to pick up his wage each week. A disgusting waste of human flesh, a disgrace to the yellow shirt. If he was unconscious, nobody would be able to tell – that’s what hes always like. Just Fuck off you useless knob!

 

Energy, drive and enthusiasm personified: Jon Otsemobor

 

Elliott Omozusi – Less of a disgrace, tried his best but a shame that his best was miles away from being any good.

 

Adam Drury – must look around the dressing room at this bunch of talentless wasters and just sigh.

 

Jason Shackell – go away again and don’t come crawling back please. 2nd biggest donkey at the club. A talentless oaf

 

Gary Doherty – biggest donkey at the club. Cant run, cant mark, cant kick, cant header. Can get sent off. Complete liability. Tries his hardest though.

 

Reuinited: Doherty and Shackell cant contain their delight at being reunited when shackell returns from Wolves.

 

John Kennedy – are we just a hospice for crippled has-beens with dodgy hips and knees? Give me strength.

 

Ryan Bertrand – huge let down since last season. What does he care though, he’ll just go back to Chelsea and pick up £4000 or £5000 a week for doing sod all.

 

Jonathan Grounds- grounds syndrome. Cant defend.

 

Adrian Leijer – why?

 

David Bell – poncy east midlands wanker.

 

Lee Croft – not a bad word to say about croft. No wonder he doesn’t want to hang around much longer.

 

Darel Russell – clumsy talentless oaf- a playing style long on effort but painfully short on elegance, finesse or talent

 

Wes Hoolahan – too small, too weak, too slow, too one footed.

 

Wee man: Applauds failure

 

Robert Eagle – someone put him out of his misery

 

Matty Pattison – It cant help when you’re seeing two balls and the stadium is spinning the whole time. If he payed the same attention to football as he does the ins and outs of Mercy nightclub .................he still wouldn’t be anywhere near good enough.

 

Chug chug chug: Pattison relaxes in the bar after another defeat

 

Mark Fotheringham – captain, CAPTAIN!!??! Yeah right, this brown nosed wanker follows the likes of MacKay and Roberts as a captain of Norwich. What a joke. Supposedly the highest earner at the club. Do me a turn.

 Fotheringham: Forward pass = nosebleed

 

 

Sammy Clingan – good, very good.

 

David Carney – why?

 

Alan Gow – see John Kennedy.

 

Carl Cort – Our best striker – which says a lot because hes crap. Couldn’t hit a ruminant’s posterior with a stringed musical instrument

 

Is it Shackell?, is it Doherty?...oh no its carl cort.

 

 

Arturo Lupoli - waste of time

 

Omar Koroma – see David Carney.

 

Leroy Lita – too good for us.

 

Jamie Cureton – Searing pace, an eye for a goal and a fierce shot are just three attributes Jamie Cureton doesnt have. He covers every blade of grass, only because his first touch is so crap. HEADS UP BARCLAY UPPER!!!.

 

Warning : Stray Flying balls

 

Special thanks for the demise of Norwich city must go to: Carl Robinson, Peter Thorne, Peter Grant, Ryan Jarvis, Glenn Roeder, Dickson Etuhu, Damien Francis, Paul Gallagher, Jason Jarrett, and almost every loan player since 2005.

 

One thing is certain - We Should never have let Hughes go.

 

 

Love Beaker

 

xxx

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Agree with some of them! Disgaree with others Croft, Doherty, Francis and Euthu!

 

Very funny though!

 

and I hope ''bring back Hughes'' is Sarcasm

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[quote user="TheCanaryFan"]

[quote user="Beaker"]

 

 Fotheringham: Forward pass = nosebleed

 

 

[/quote]

 

This bit made me giggle.

[/quote]and me... haha. hilarious!! all of it! and so true!

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''Jesus saves: Marshall doesnt.''

 

Carl Cort – Our best striker – which says a lot because hes crap.

  

Jamie Cureton – Searing pace, an eye for a goal and a fierce shot are just three attributes Jamie Cureton doesnt have. He covers every blade of grass, only because his first touch is so crap.

 

 

They are the bits that made me laugh, thank you.

 

Penny for your thoughts on Sibierski.

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Antoine Sibierski: Hes got a shiny head and is heavily Overinfluenced by the force of gravity. Found a picture of his boots from his time at norwich:

Sibierskis boots: The new TotalBrick 90s

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Excellent job, mate, a bit hursh but very funny and brilliant, indeed. But did I lose something or when you write Carney: "why"? you mean "who"?

Plus, I finally realised why Matty Pattison has disappeared from the squad....

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It''s a pity that football is not like Scrabble where if you draw a useless hand of letters (misfits, journeymen and mercenaries) you can swap them all for a new set.

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Absolutely Awesome beaker. And 100% true.

Finally, somebody who agrees with me on Hoolahan. Yes he''s got a good technique and skill. But he lacks 3 top attributes to be a top player. Strength, Pace and two feet. (all attributes that Huckerby had)

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[quote user="Snakepit boys"]Brilliant Post!! Cant agree on Croft though, he is a winger that cannot cross the ball. The 2 just dont go together. Lots of effort but Fuck all end product. He is the worst of the lot! How was he ever selected or get this far amazes me??!!
[/quote]

Worst of the lot. Oh dear. How very wrong you are if you think Lee Croft is the worst of the lot [:|]. I''m guessing, by your name, you go to games. In which case, I think you need to watch his performance and particularly his effort closely in comparison to the other tossers he has running about with him on the pitch. Then, I''m sure you will see, he is far from the ''worst of the lot''

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Lol brilliant post on Cureton. Harsh on Doherty been good this season, and harsh on Shackell. Drury is complete w*nk too!

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Superb piece of journalism Beaker. Agree with just about every comment made and made me smile after yet another depressing performance....OTBC

 

Oh yeah....HUGHESY FOR ENGLAND!

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My only disagreements is with the inconsistencies of Croft and Clingan. If you don''t have a good word to say of the rest, you should be slagging them all:

Croft - trained as a window dresser and comes to life when the end of season sale approaches.

Clingan - was good, faded like a newspaper on a sunny window sill.

I like both them guys (plus some of the others you slate) but they''re all equally culpable.

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If we replaced Semmy and fotheringham with 2 Andy Hughes'', we would be better off.And Andy Hughes was only any good for attacking us fans.Funny post Beaker; well, funny until you realise 95% of it is all true.

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Beaker, you post some crap, but you also come up with some gems,and this is one of them. Laughed my socks off!

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[quote user="Beaker"]

Evening all. Right heres my overview of the worst NCFC team in living memory. Feel free to add your own comments on players ive missed.

 

[/quote]

My exact words to Roger Mumbles last night and he said and I quote, "I don''t think so".

Well the table doesn''t lie Rog, and I can''t remember ever being in this position. [:|]

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