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Shaun Tilly Lace

101 uses for an Andy D' Urso.

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Can you think of any? I shall start it off with a couple of useful positions for him.

1. A companion for your fish in an aquarium; preferably piranhas or man-eating sharks.

2. A playmate for your pet crocodiles.

Obviously his usefulness in both of these examples would be rather transitory, to say the least, but at least he would have served a purpose, something he doesn''t do whilst spending 90 minutes running around aimlessly with a whistle.

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6. a live test subject for discovery channels television programme "Machines of malice"

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8. The clown you throw wet sponges at at fairgrounds.

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[quote user="1st Wazzock"]8 He should test that new Irish invention, the ejector sea for a Helicopter.[/quote]

No, I can''t have that. There would be a grave risk that the poor man would lose his head. Still, come to think of it, he did on Saturday, so on second thoughts it sounds like a good idea. 

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[quote user="The Butler"]A concrete shoe tester for the mafia[/quote]A wizard! Who else can get so many things wrong and yet change their mind a few hours later! Perfect! [Y]

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[quote user="Shack Attack"]A scapegoat for a misfiring Championship outfit [^o)][/quote]A replacement for Curo?

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