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pennywise

funniest conversation you`ve listened into at a game

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i was sitting in the jarrold earlier in the season and these 3 lads behind me had obviously had a skinful.. anyway they got talking about there other mates marital problems and they were going on and on  about.. lets call him dave , one says "she(daves mrs ) came onto me last new years eve and i was worse  for wear and  on my own so keep it to yourselves but i sh@gged daves mrs "  then it all comes out.. this other bloke  says  he did too  " should never have happened but he saw her out when she was on her own  she came on to him, not proud but  can`t look a gifthorse in the mouth and   she came back to his ect ect )  the 3rd bloke says  he saw daves mrs out the other night and they were all flirty and she now keeps texting him..anyway after they`d all confessed one of them says "pity really daves a decent bloke he just lacks confidence "  [:D]

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Not so much a conversation but I remember hearing this at Pride Park when we played Derby in the Milk/Rumbelows/Carling Cup a few years back."Hamilton.........you''re a f*cking whore...........why don''t you go and work in Tescos" To this day I''ve never managed to work out what he was on about.

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Witnessing an arguement between Mark Rivers and a Barclay front row fan at a corner was amusing...

Fan - ''''Pull your finger out rivers you lazy ****''''

MR - ''''Come on then, you get up here and play instead''''

Fan - ''''You''d come and chase me if I had a kebab you fag smoking ****''''

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Row W, Barclay block D, The three amigo''s half way down the row shouting at any decision the ref makes for yellow cards, and/or OFF! OFF! OFF!

Idiots.

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[quote user="pennywise "]i was sitting in the jarrold earlier in the season and these 3 lads behind me had obviously had a skinful.. anyway they got talking about there other mates marital problems and they were going on and on  about.. lets call him dave , one says "she(daves mrs ) came onto me last new years eve and i was worse  for wear and  on my own so keep it to yourselves but i sh@gged daves mrs "  then it all comes out.. this other bloke  says  he did too  " should never have happened but he saw her out when she was on her own  she came on to him, not proud but  can`t look a gifthorse in the mouth and   she came back to his ect ect )  the 3rd bloke says  he saw daves mrs out the other night and they were all flirty and she now keeps texting him..anyway after they`d all confessed one of them says "pity really daves a decent bloke he just lacks confidence "  [:D][/quote]i''m dave...

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[quote user="Jimmy Smith"][quote user="pennywise "]i was sitting in the jarrold earlier in the season and these 3 lads behind me had obviously had a skinful.. anyway they got talking about there other mates marital problems and they were going on and on  about.. lets call him dave , one says "she(daves mrs ) came onto me last new years eve and i was worse  for wear and  on my own so keep it to yourselves but i sh@gged daves mrs "  then it all comes out.. this other bloke  says  he did too  " should never have happened but he saw her out when she was on her own  she came on to him, not proud but  can`t look a gifthorse in the mouth and   she came back to his ect ect )  the 3rd bloke says  he saw daves mrs out the other night and they were all flirty and she now keeps texting him..anyway after they`d all confessed one of them says "pity really daves a decent bloke he just lacks confidence "  [:D][/quote]i''m dave...[/quote]ha ha ha

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Best I''ve ever heard was only a couple of months ago, i think it was a christmas game...

All very quiet in the barclay, most people sitting down - you get the picture.

Anyway suddenly some old "Norfolk boy" shouts:

"COME ON ROEDER, EVEN MIKE BASSETT PLAYED FOUR FOUR TWO!"

..then an equally norfolk voice from a different area of the stand replies:

"...WE GOT TO WEMBLEY THAT YEAR!"

finally someone totally different shouts...

"WE F***ING WON THE THING....."

(made even funnier by the distinctive accents)

 

It tickled me anyway!

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There''s one bloke who sits behind me, broad Norfolk accent who spends most of the game rowing with his Missus who keeps telling him to shut up. Anyway, several years ago he had a real downer on WLY and shouted "Cor bloody hell McVeigh, get orf, you''ve dun nothin''"

I looked at the clock. We were 4 minutes into the game.

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And two from a WHUFC fan....

Defoe takes a corner and someone shouts "what you talking about Willis"

Also, when we played them in the cup a few years back "Bloody hell, that''s not the mascot" as WLY lined up for the kickoff.

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[quote user="MPR"]There''s one bloke who sits behind me, broad Norfolk accent who spends most of the game rowing with his Missus who keeps telling him to shut up. Anyway, several years ago he had a real downer on WLY and shouted "Cor bloody hell McVeigh, get orf, you''ve dun nothin''"

I looked at the clock. We were 4 minutes into the game.[/quote]I can''t remember one from a Norwich game but I do have the displeasure of retaining a memory from a Chelsea game at Stamford Bridge that I went to with my ex (may her sould burn in hell etc etc etc). During the latter stages of the Ranieri era.They were playing Wolves or WBA I can''t remember (I saw two matches!) they are all the same if you ask me . . . . . anyway this Chelsea fan, middle aged, indifferent looking bloke really and if anything looked like a trainspotter - your normal sort of quiet guys. As soon as the whistle went he was effin and blinding at the Chelsea players - he never stopped once apart from at half time and then that was only to tell those around him that the team was aweful. I think they one that game 5-1 or something along those lines . . . . I think every club must have a smudger . . . . . . . .

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When i was younger (15/16) i remember being in the Barclay when it was terraced, group of about 4 men... All had the build of Dart players, if you know what i mean!

 Anyway, they were being quite rowdy, jumping up and down and hitting into everyone.. Obviously beered up.  I don''t know exactly what happened (It was normal to jump about then!) but for some reason they received special attention from the stewards.   It was all good humour but they kept hassling the stewards as when they turned their backs they would insult them and then behave like schoolboys when they came walking up.. This went on for a while, and you could see the other 3 were constantly egging on the 4th man to go further than the rest.  At some point (10/15 mins in) the stewards decided to lose their humour with them, and the old bill were called up.

It went very serious and a scuffle ensued which eventually got the 4th guy arrested, as he was being cuffed up and carted away the remaining guys were begging with the police to let him go, saying that he had a wife and kids at home, and if they left him here they''d make sure he would behave etc....  They sobered up and looked quite sincere....

However, After he was taken out of the pen, they all started to cheer and party, turned out from listening to their conversation afterwards that there was a bet made earlier that day that they could get this guy arrested, it then transpired that he had never been to a match before and they had told him he''d be ok with them in the Barclay, there was then this silence as you could see them all thinking about the situation, at which point one of the guys said "You know, his wife is gonna kill us!".

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2 guys arguing for 3 seasons, at every game over the benefits of Adrian Forbes was always worth a listen!

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I was on the way to CR this year and walked past Lloyds. the two door men were talking to this woman, all i heard of the convo was the woman saying "So yes i do like soft cheese" and i laughed so hard it hurt!

also the guy who sits behind me constantly used to prenounce Omozuzi''s name wrong and call him Omosy which brought a smile to my face each time.

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the funniest conversation ive ever heard is the one between me and my missus on her first outing to a football match.

shortly after kickoff

me " evevry thing ok babe, you enjoying it?

her "yeah its great im just confused about somthing"?!

me "whats that?"

her " wheres the commentry, i cant hear it"

absoulutley priceless, i remind her of it very often!

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Well its not really a conversation but the funniest thing I have ever heard at a game when i was sitting in the Riverend and was when we had Russell the first time and a old bloke around 60 stood and shouted ''Take ya f**king gloves off, Russell you f**king fairy''. It was pretty quiet as well when he said, we were losing at the time and had just givin away a corner.

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[quote user="lincoln canary"]

the funniest conversation ive ever heard is the one between me and my missus on her first outing to a football match.

shortly after kickoff

me " evevry thing ok babe, you enjoying it?

her "yeah its great im just confused about somthing"?!

me "whats that?"

her " wheres the commentry, i cant hear it"

absoulutley priceless, i remind her of it very often!

[/quote]

PMSL that made me roar [Y]

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In the mid eighties me and my mate were standing at the river end - it was a mid-week cup match against a lower league team.

We were playing really badly and the crowd were deadly silent, then all of a sudden someone shouts out across the ground

 " Can''t believe I f*cking missed Coronation Street to watch this crap !"

I think the whole ground laughed [:D]

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Bit off topic, as it wasn''t a conversation or at a game, but "it made I larf!".

I used to live in Darlington and one Saturday evening, I was off to work by train (I worked for the railway) down to Peterborough. At the station I was mightily cheesed off to find out that Middlesbrough had been playing West Ham and the platform was filled with boisterous bubble blowers waiting for the very same train that I was going south on. They were noisy but being kept in check by the BT police. The train pulled in and we all climbed aboard and I resigned myself to an hour and a half of hell, especially as it was clear the coppers wouldn''t be travelling on the train. As we pulled away, several of the more obnoxious Hammmers fans made for the vestibules, leaning out of the windows, chanting "You filthy, Northern B**tards!" at the coppers, secure in the knowledge that the train was leaving and they were safe from apprehension. One of the coppers must have given the nod to the guard at the back of the train as it passed him and the train slowed to a halt, still in the platform. There was silence, then some of the coppers boarded the back of thr train & walked through, the rest calmly walked up the platform. They lifted the ringleaders and frogmarched them off the train. Result - peaceful journey for me and the pleasure of knowing that some of Upton Park''s pearliest kings would be sampling nortern hospitality that night.

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after we beat Reading in the promotion season (the infamous "off the arser" off the ref) these lads were trying to wind me and my mate up as we were walking back accross the carpark to my mates car.

 they had these litttle smirks on their faces and were saying things like "you''ll be the worst team in the premiership next season!" and "you will get relegated by chrstmas" one of them shouted "you are going to lose every week!"

I turned to them and said "well at least we will be losing to quality like man ut and chelski, and not losing to shyte like Burnley like you next season" the look on their faces was priceless!

jas :)

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[quote user="jas the barclay king"]

after we beat Reading in the promotion season (the infamous "off the arser" off the ref) these lads were trying to wind me and my mate up as we were walking back accross the carpark to my mates car.

 they had these litttle smirks on their faces and were saying things like "you''ll be the worst team in the premiership next season!" and "you will get relegated by chrstmas" one of them shouted "you are going to lose every week!"

I turned to them and said "well at least we will be losing to quality like man ut and chelski, and not losing to shyte like Burnley like you next season" the look on their faces was priceless!

jas :)

[/quote]

 

i wonder if they now have the last laugh?

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[quote user="lincoln canary"][quote user="jas the barclay king"]

after we beat Reading in the promotion season (the infamous "off the arser" off the ref) these lads were trying to wind me and my mate up as we were walking back accross the carpark to my mates car.

 they had these litttle smirks on their faces and were saying things like "you''ll be the worst team in the premiership next season!" and "you will get relegated by chrstmas" one of them shouted "you are going to lose every week!"

I turned to them and said "well at least we will be losing to quality like man ut and chelski, and not losing to shyte like Burnley like you next season" the look on their faces was priceless!

jas :)

[/quote]

 

i wonder if they now have the last laugh?

[/quote]

perhaps they do mate.. little did we know back then eh?

jas :)

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[quote user="lincoln canary"]

her " wheres the commentry, i cant hear it"

absoulutley priceless, i remind her of it very often!

[/quote]

lol, i hate to think what you get away with at home.... "Yes dear, it''s quite normal....." ;)

Reminds me of my missus hitting her head quite hard on the bedside table, She woke me up, tears streaming and all she could muster was: "I''ve just hit my tuddy bed on the bable!" i was unprepared so cracked up laughing in her face.... She is reminded of this often too. :)

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20 seconds into a match, the old s*hite behind me goes "I can see were going to lose this one"

Another one, first game of the Jarrolds stand the guy infrong of me was going mental at Ian Henderson, swearing and screaming.  The player he was angry at was Jim Brennan!

Then of corse theres the guy in the middle of the N&P Top teir that stands up and screams Jesus every now and then

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Same guy that was angry with ''Henderson'' thought they moved the pitch over when the Jarrolds Stand was opened as it is further away from the pitch than the old stand.

"I cant see why they moved the pitch over?!" Were his exact words!

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At one match a year or two ago we were playing dismally as usual and it had all gone a bit quiet. Andy Hughes then promptly scuffed an easy pass into touch and due to the dreadful nature of the game, we couldn''t even be bothered to roar in anger, preferring a dull groan. Then some mad old boy on the front row of the Barclay Upper starts an ill-advised attempt to shame the crowd into cheering. A fine sentiment but everyone else could tell that it just wasn''t the right time for "Sing up the Barclay, where are ya..." repeated 4 times in broadest and dimmest-sounding Norfolk accent, whilst leaning out aggressively over the lower Barclay. To my eternal satisfaction I was the one who shouted "Jump", and received a generous cheer from Block C for my trouble.

Then there was the conversation I heard around 2005 when some old boy was asking his mate if he still had Kenny Foggo''s telephone number because he was going to write to Grant and demand he give Kenny a contract because he genuinely believed he would be good enough to still play for Norwich "He may nort be quick na''more but ass all abaat havin a football brain ''unt at?".

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