DDD In The Fine City 1 Posted January 21, 2009 Got my second interview tomorrow, any advice lads? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tribes 0 Posted January 21, 2009 Tell them you have green and yellow blood. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The ghost of Michael Theoklitos 0 Posted January 21, 2009 Tell them you survived a brain tumor. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zak Van Burger 0 Posted January 21, 2009 Ach away wi ya ye wee sassenach ye''ve nae chance of gittin thon job as ahm ginna be there mesel fer a second meet wi'' the boss hen. I''m Alky McKay fae Glesgae and in ma youth I was kent as ''White Lightning''mcKay fer ma terrifying skills on the streets of the Gorbals. I was captain of Bonnybridge Borstal football team throughout the entire 1980''s and afore I wuz banned fae a'' the footie grunds fer fechtin'' at un International match I wus on the books of Clydebank Thistle AFC. Ah''ve filled oot the wee questionaire thingy we were gi''en a'' the first of oor meetings wi'' the board last week Ah think ye''ll see whit I mean when I say it''s a done deal and ah''m gonna be Norwich manager before the week is oot.Question 1) Why are you applying for this vacancy?answer- Ma brother Kenneth who works in England heard the Charlton match an he telt me effterwards that it sounded like there was booze all around carrow road.Question 2) What experience do you have of man management?answer- There''s many a friday and saturday nicht ah''ve had to get ''wee'' Jimmy Duncan oot the ''Hairy Haggis'' at closing time and up the Sauchiehall rd afore his lovely wife Morag lock a'' the doors and throws his belongings oot on the street. If you can manage 24 stones of wee Jimmy I canna see thae wimpy footballers gi''en me any bother.Question 3) What experience do you have of football? I was captain of Clydebank Thistle AFC fer aboot 13 years aff and oan ( well actually more like in and oot but I dinnae want te let slip aboot the Jail time at a job interview ).Question 4) Do you have any illness or injury that might affect your ability to do this job?answer - Well my playing career wuz cut short by a terrible injury.Question 4a) Please specify:Ach!!! Well it was England versus Scotland at Hampden Park in the Euros and this sassenach english fan wuz lookin'' at me wrong like so I sez to him ''see you jimmy what''s your problem?'' An afore I ken it he had liftet twa fingers at me so I gie him a glesgie kiss just a wee tappit really but he must have landed badly because his nose and skull wuz fracturet an tae cap it a'' when the Bobbie came tae see whit a'' the commotion wuz aboot ah mist huf accidentally bumped inter ane or twa of them as well anywayz the injury wuz sae bad the Sheriff says I canna be allowed inta any futba ground in Europe ever agin.Question 4b) Could you work around this incapacity with support?answer - aye I could get that Canaries World and ma mobile is on a good contract with loads of free minutes.Question 5) We are constantly looking for ways to develop the club outside of football are you able too offer any input on off field projects?answer- Well ma wifie is a canny cook and does a mean deep fried Milk tray batter platter which is like a mixed grill for the sweet toothed and a very popular seller doon the local chippies. Wi'' Norwich being near the coast and France and that I reckon I could also nip over on the ferry on me days off and get some fags and baccy, I ken where tae get Regal fer £2 a packet you cud probably get a fiver on match days fer them.Question 6) Are you currently under contract and how much notice does your current employer need and are there any financial penalties applicable if you were to terminate your employment at short notice?answer- Aye ah do have a contract but that''s wi'' the probation people and I could just transfer it tae a local office. I''m currently in between jobs at the moment but I need to sign on next tuesday after that I''m free.Question 7) How much are you expecting in remuneration for this post?answer - well I dinnae ken really how much seems fair tae ye?Question 8) Do you know any Scottish footballers?answer - no. (Actually I know loads they''re always down the ''Haggis'' but efter yon Peter Grant bloke this is one question I think it''s only fair to lie aboot on a job application don''t you?) Check oot ma Myface campaign and online petition fae the job. Vote early vote Alky!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Canarygeorge 0 Posted January 21, 2009 [quote user="Alky McKay"]Ach away wi ya ye wee sassenach ye''ve nae chance of gittin thon job as ahm ginna be there mesel fer a second meet wi'' the boss hen. I''m Alky McKay fae Glesgae and in ma youth I was kent as ''White Lightning''mcKay fer ma terrifying skills on the streets of the Gorbals. I was captain of Bonnybridge Borstal football team throughout the entire 1980''s and afore I wuz banned fae a'' the footie grunds fer fechtin'' at un International match I wus on the books of Clydebank Thistle AFC. Ah''ve filled oot the wee questionaire thingy we were gi''en a'' the first of oor meetings wi'' the board last week Ah think ye''ll see whit I mean when I say it''s a done deal and ah''m gonna be Norwich manager before the week is oot.Question 1) Why are you applying for this vacancy?answer- Ma brother Kenneth who works in England heard the Charlton match an he telt me effterwards that it sounded like there was booze all around carrow road.Question 2) What experience do you have of man management?answer- There''s many a friday and saturday nicht ah''ve had to get ''wee'' Jimmy Duncan oot the ''Hairy Haggis'' at closing time and up the Sauchiehall rd afore his lovely wife Morag lock a'' the doors and throws his belongings oot on the street. If you can manage 24 stones of wee Jimmy I canna see thae wimpy footballers gi''en me any bother.Question 3) What experience do you have of football? I was captain of Clydebank Thistle AFC fer aboot 13 years aff and oan ( well actually more like in and oot but I dinnae want te let slip aboot the Jail time at a job interview ).Question 4) Do you have any illness or injury that might affect your ability to do this job?answer - Well my playing career wuz cut short by a terrible injury.Question 4a) Please specify:Ach!!! Well it was England versus Scotland at Hampden Park in the Euros and this sassenach english fan wuz lookin'' at me wrong like so I sez to him ''see you jimmy what''s your problem?'' An afore I ken it he had liftet twa fingers at me so I gie him a glesgie kiss just a wee tappit really but he must have landed badly because his nose and skull wuz fracturet an tae cap it a'' when the Bobbie came tae see whit a'' the commotion wuz aboot ah mist huf accidentally bumped inter ane or twa of them as well anywayz the injury wuz sae bad the Sheriff says I canna be allowed inta any futba ground in Europe ever agin.Question 4b) Could you work around this incapacity with support?answer - aye I could get that Canaries World and ma mobile is on a good contract with loads of free minutes.Question 5) We are constantly looking for ways to develop the club outside of football are you able too offer any input on off field projects?answer- Well ma wifie is a canny cook and does a mean deep fried Milk tray batter platter which is like a mixed grill for the sweet toothed and a very popular seller doon the local chippies. Wi'' Norwich being near the coast and France and that I reckon I could also nip over on the ferry on me days off and get some fags and baccy, I ken where tae get Regal fer £2 a packet you cud probably get a fiver on match days fer them.Question 6) Are you currently under contract and how much notice does your current employer need and are there any financial penalties applicable if you were to terminate your employment at short notice?answer- Aye ah do have a contract but that''s wi'' the probation people and I could just transfer it tae a local office. I''m currently in between jobs at the moment but I need to sign on next tuesday after that I''m free.Question 7) How much are you expecting in remuneration for this post?answer - well I dinnae ken really how much seems fair tae ye?Question 8) Do you know any Scottish footballers?answer - no. (Actually I know loads they''re always down the ''Haggis'' but efter yon Peter Grant bloke this is one question I think it''s only fair to lie aboot on a job application don''t you?) Check oot ma Myface campaign and online petition fae the job. Vote early vote Alky!!!![/quote]1st Class credentials Alky. Gets my vote. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
E.L.F. 0 Posted January 21, 2009 Just remember to remove your ten favourite films list from your CV. [:O] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zak Van Burger 0 Posted January 21, 2009 [quote user="Canarygeorge"]1st Class credentials Alky. Gets my vote.[/quote]Jings that''s awfie kind o'' ye young CanaryGeorge de ye mind if ah print oot this page sae I can use it as a reference? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites