We will all miss this - Classic Arrdee

[DDD In The Fine City 1]

My encounter with two binners on holiday .

It was the second week of our  holiday in Bulgaria, I was soaking up the sun , no doubt doing poor old arrdees bones no end of good , dropping off to sleep ,lovely , suddenly i heard Ruth say "arrdee help that young woman " I was off my lounger like a shot , there was a lovely blond girl with a young child in her arms trying to pull a pram with a baby in it with her bags hung on the handle stuck in the soft sand going nowhere . I picked up the pram and the baby and carried it down to the edge of sea where she wanted to go , I did think i had bit off more than i could chew but i managed it just . She said "thanks for that my husband Len and his brother Bouncer are checking out the bars " I thought you have only just arrived in the early hrs of the morning and it not 10 o''clock yet , Well whatever you are on holiday . I got the job every morning , I do admit i did pretend to be asleep some mornings but Ruth would poke me in the ribs so there was no getting out of it , I use to say "I suppose Len and Bouncer are still checking out the bars "? In the bar of the hotel the tues  evening this Carol was chatting to Ruth ,"Ah here comes Len and Bouncer " " This is Ruth and Ray who i told you about" with his hand out "Thanks for that mate " I said " Pleased to have helped " his hand dropped like a stone ."Where are you from"? I said "Norwich"  "Don''t tell me you are a f ing Norwich supporter " "Yep one of the biggest "was my reply . I don''t think i have ever seen such looks of hatred on two faces in all my life . "Well we are lifelong xxxxxxx supporters ,I will shake your hand as we are in Bulgaria i would never dream of doing it in our country" We avoided each other for the rest of the time , if we did meet  i would always give them a big grin which seem to upset them more than any thing . This Carol was chatting to Ruth one day asking "when do you go home"? Ruth told her Carol said "Oh Bouncer is on that plane he only stayed for one week .I heard that quick enough .WHAT i said , there was no doubt about it flight number every thing Borgos to Stansted .I just knew it,i just knew it , how my luck has been this year , i just knew i would be sitting next to him for 3 hrs on the plane . The rest of the time i was there i was racking my brain what i would do if the worst came to the worst . I knew i could manoeuvre Ruth so i would be one away from him at least and if that plan went tits up i am afraid thats how Ruth would have gone ,even if it meant manhandling her to the planes floor . I feel i must point out i am the perfect gentleman at all times , but these were desperate times and anything goes . The time duly arrived ,i could see Bouncer and his family the other side of the foyer i suppose keeping as far away from me as they could .the First Choice coach arrived at the said time , up flew Bouncer rushing on to the coach like the great kid he is .I was trudging along pulling my suitcase like a condemed man on his way to the gallows . At this point another First Choice coach arrived , The girl with the clipboard was saying "yes yes this Borgos " her English was poor which is unusual most speak good English i did question her further and she confirmed it Bouncer was on the wrong coach he was off to Varna hundreds of miles away . I couldn''t wait for the coach to get going i was willing it to start up . Instead it was Ruth who started up "Bouncer is on the wrong bus" "really" i said "don''t you think we should say something" "NO i mean no no better not interfere" "besides the young ladys English is not very good " " you could talk to her in Bulgarian" "maybe but the people on this bus won''t thank you ,we have got a plane to catch you know" "well i am going to say something "  as she started to rise the bus started and Ruth flopped back in her seat ,thankfully . As i sat on the plane i was chuckling to myself hoping Bouncer was at least half way to Varna before he realised his mistake so he could spend the rest of the journey in abject misery . Cruel ? I don''t know if you can be cruel to a xxxxxxx supporter anyhow thats a little back for the sand pails incident . Just before dropping off to sleep on the plane i thought life turns out alright some times don''t you know. arrdee Carve their names with pride.Yankee,2,Fellas,2,P''boro,Mr Chops,NewYork, yes Norfolkchance1 £400 for the Academy,so far.