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Evil Monkey

Cunning New Strategy

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Newcastle striker Michael Owen looks set to leave St James'' Park on a free transfer at the end of the season. (Various)Sign him up! Okay, so he''s on about £100k a week, which would mean doing away with the vast majority of the rest of the squad, but I''m sure enough of us would volunteer of a Saturday to make up the numbers and punt the ball down for the little fella to nip it into the back of the net whilst the opposition players work out what the hell is going on... [8]We''re gonna win the league! We''re gonna win the league! Na na na na na na.... [8]

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