Aliens amongst us......?

[Old Boy 0]

[quote user="gazzathegreat"] They will find plenty of dirt, but most of it from my dog''s backside......[/quote]That''s as good a description of this forum as I''ve seen.

[barclay seats 4849 0]

[quote user="Thirst Wizard"][quote user="Delia S. Tickers"]The notion of a Club Employee posting here for "damage limitation" is quite absurd.[/quote]

Agreed,  ridiculous.  They''ve better things to do, like trying to sort this mess out
[/quote]

Yes ...Agreed!  but they are not doing a very good job of that ...so are they distracted by posting on here ????

[Mello Yello 2,289]

[quote user="blahblahblah"][quote user="Canary Nut"]

[quote user="Mello Yello"]Are there folk from NCFC plc posting on here - for the purpose of ''Damage Limitation''?..... [/quote]

Well said Mello Yello.

I wonder if they have been to a Prince of Darkness course on how to spin?

[/quote]

Yes. Bravo Mello, quite how you keep resurrecting the same tired old paranoid theme over thousands of threads and many centuries is quite astonishing.

[/quote]

<<<<<ALARM!>>>>> <<<<<ALARM!>>>>> <<<<<ALARM!>>>>> DULLARD WARNING! DULLARD WARNING! DULLARD WARNING![|-)]......

Then why reply to it, then?......  

[blahblahblah 2]

[quote user="Mello Yello"][quote user="blahblahblah"][quote user="Canary Nut"]

[quote user="Mello Yello"]Are there folk from NCFC plc posting on here - for the purpose of ''Damage Limitation''?..... [/quote]

Well said Mello Yello.

I wonder if they have been to a Prince of Darkness course on how to spin?

[/quote]

Yes. Bravo Mello, quite how you keep resurrecting the same tired old paranoid theme over thousands of threads and many centuries is quite astonishing.

[/quote]

<<<<<ALARM!>>>>> <<<<<ALARM!>>>>> <<<<<ALARM!>>>>> DULLARD WARNING! DULLARD WARNING! DULLARD WARNING![|-)]......

Then why reply to it, then?......  

[/quote]

Habit I suppose.  Beats smoking crack.

[Mello Yello 2,289]

[quote user="blahblahblah"][quote user="Mello Yello"][quote user="blahblahblah"][quote user="Canary Nut"]

[quote user="Mello Yello"]Are there folk from NCFC plc posting on here - for the purpose of ''Damage Limitation''?..... [/quote]

Well said Mello Yello.

I wonder if they have been to a Prince of Darkness course on how to spin?

[/quote]

Yes. Bravo Mello, quite how you keep resurrecting the same tired old paranoid theme over thousands of threads and many centuries is quite astonishing.

[/quote]

<<<<<ALARM!>>>>> <<<<<ALARM!>>>>> <<<<<ALARM!>>>>> DULLARD WARNING! DULLARD WARNING! DULLARD WARNING![|-)]......

Then why reply to it, then?......  

[/quote]

Habit I suppose.  Beats smoking crack.

[/quote]

Or looking through one....

[Mello Yello 2,289]

[quote user="A Load of Squit"]

[quote user="Mello Yello"]Are there folk from NCFC plc posting on here - for the purpose of ''Damage Limitation''?..... [/quote]

Mello uses the classic double bluff tactic, trying to detract from his own credentials as a club insider.

[/quote]

Good skills!

[Mello Yello 2,289]

[quote user="Evil Monkey"]

[quote user="Camuldonum"]

Whatever, it''s just the thought of Joe, Emma, Gemma tracking the move of dissenters 24/7 and reporting back to Doomcaster that cracks me up.

Joe: "I''ve got Cluckcaster Neil.  I''m on him, fear not.

Neil: "Tell him it''s a bad time of the year for chickens."

Gemma: "Neil, Smudger alert."

Neil: "Do you need help?"

Gemma: "No, I can handle him.  It''s not difficult..  We call him mouth and trousers."

Emma: "Neil, Joe.  I''ve an incoming Good News Gordon.  I need help."

Neil: "Tell him Shola isn''t in the building and there isn''t a press conference at 1 p.m." 

Emma: "Great, thanks.  He''s gone away but he did say he was going to turn up as someone else............"

[/quote]

Quite so, Cam... because the club employees obviously have nothing better to do with their time.  Personally, I agree with Squit, its all an elaborate double-bluff - Mello is Delia and Cluck is Doomcaster.  They certainly talk with as much wit and intelligence as those two.... QED, I say! [;)]

[/quote]

Says the ''bundle of chuckles'', siding with a tired and woeful washed out journo.....[:|]

[The Fish Seller 0]

My brother (Yes I know another brother comment!) rents a flat in the

new block that overlooks the club shop & Yellows and he sees Neil

Doncaster arriving in his fairly average Merc around 7/8am every

morning and he never leaves before 8/9pm and at the moment that is 7

days a week!

I would bet that very few clubs get that kind of commitment from their CEOs!!!

ONTB City! Keep the faith....

Source

[Mello Yello 2,289]

[quote user="The Prisoner"]

My brother (Yes I know another brother comment!) rents a flat in the new block that overlooks the club shop & Yellows and he sees Neil Doncaster arriving in his fairly average Merc around 7/8am every morning and he never leaves before 8/9pm and at the moment that is 7 days a week!

I would bet that very few clubs get that kind of commitment from their CEOs!!!

ONTB City! Keep the faith....

Source


[/quote]

Total fabrication is the above post!.....

He actually arrives at the club at 11:30am in a Sinclair C5 (he pedals it, as the battery supplied power is now defunct) and strolls across to Morrison''s to get a late brekky ''full English, but no tomato or mushrooms (give him gas) - washed down with a mug o'' tea - weak, nine sugars.'' He then makes his way to the sweetie aisle - and grabs a large bag of various haribo sour-sweets (got to maintain his dour look)...Then, it''s through the check-out (after paying for his goodies in 5p pieces) - he then wanders to the newspaper counter, buying himself a copy of "Future Millionaire''s Magazine Monthly"....Ambling back to the ground, he waves to no-one in particular (like a very unpopular MP) and checks himself out in the reflecting car-wash window. Smuggy, Scrummy, Yummy - and oh, so, Slick!

His Eventguard Hierarchy - form up briskly outside the club entrance, and bring themselves rigidly to attention and salute in turn - he ignores them completely - as he saunters nonchalantly into the building, to start his difficult and intense working day.

Time 12:42pm.

"Good Morning Chief" says the smiling young receptionist....he retorts, "If I was a bl**dy Chief - I''d be called Sitting Bull! It''s bleedin'' Sir or Chief Executive...Geddit?" He harrumphs, slaps his thigh with his Future Millionaire mag....then strides with purpose to the Club Media Office....The receptionist politely acknowledges his cheerful morning greet - raising her two fingers behind his back, in an appreciative gesture - as he disappears down the corridor. 

Time 12:49

 "Good Morning Fiat!"....."Actually Sir, it''s Ferrari....Joe to my mates." "Yeah, whatever, non-capisce son" mumbles the CE - and heads for the coffee percolator - filling his ample ''TRUE BOSS! MINTED - AND ABSOLUTE BABE MAGNET!'' personally stencilled mug to the brim - with Colombian roast, weak, nine sugars. "Righto Fandango - what''s on the agenda today?" as he grabs all the chocolate cream biccie''s, dunking them in two''s and then down in one....Leaving comical extended choccy lines on the sides of his mouth - that make him look not too dissimilar, to Jack Nicholson''s portrayal of the ''Joker'' in the earlier Batman movies...."Well Sitting Bu...er, Chief, er, Sir" replies Joe, in a soft calm and subservient voice - glancing at the CE choccy marks, trying desperately not to laugh. "We''ve got some of our Specialist Suppression Team, monitoring and contributing to the Pink''un message board.....After the AGM, there''s the usual hardcore anti''s - and some quite astute accounting posters, delving, debating - and also asking probing and difficult questions, that our efficient undercover SST team are currently doing battle with at this moment in time....Thankfully, the fawning Board Apologist Group are flipping and flopping, weaving and a wibbling - and are pro-actively disrupting the flow of debate. They''re good, them old BAGs Sir, they do a fine job when things are getting a bit heated." "Excellent Formaggio, keep up the good work, I''m now off to see the board, Ciao." "It''s bloody Ferrari, you belligerent and boorish bore"....muttered Joe, under his breath. 

Time 13:05

Boardroom of NCFC.

The CE pushes open the door, and strides in.....He halts, and stares around the boardroom... The Directionless are all sat around the boardroom table. On the table, is an inactive and half-assembled scalextric; empty KFC bargain buckets are scattered around - and  half a dozen drained 2 litre coke bottles are spread  like fallen skittles in between the incomplete track. "Hiya Doomy!" bellows Foulger, the CE directs his eyes toward him....''Fouly'' waves at him with a chicken drumstick in his hand...."Do you fancy some finger lickin'' chicken me old glum-chum? It''s rather good - and I''ve saved you a piece!" "No, you know full well I don''t like processed junk, that''s unless it''s on a football pitch" said the CE...."Well, it''s seen me alright - and so has the chicken!."chortled Fouly. The CE''s attention was then drawn to the other end of the table, where the Chairman was quietly sat, he seemed taller in the seat than usual, Doomy glanced at Roger''s chair.....He was surprised to see that Roger''s cushion was actually a pile of nicotine pads, and Roger''s cheeks - were bloated like Dizzy Gillespie playing a trumpet solo. "Roger, are you Ok?" asked the CE "Yesh Neel, I''sh jush gosh a gobful osh nicoresh shewing gung, I''ll shpit it oush shwen I goesh shfor a shiggy." Neil D shakes his head, "It''s just not working is it Roger?" "Wosh shtat Neel? Ush ash Direcshors - hor ger nicoresh shewing gung?".....

Time 13:22

Still in the Boardroom.

Doomy stared at the ceiling in disbelief, then lowered his head and noticed Micky W and Delia sat alongside each other, both of them, their heads together, deeply engrossed in a book......The CE stared at the book title, it read, "Football Failure can be Fun!"....Doomy removed his glasses, rubbed his eyes - and wiped his furrowed brow. Replacing his spectacles, he said "Delia, Michael, what are we going to do with this mess?" "Oh hello Neil, didn''t see you come in....The mess? Oh, I''ve got a couple of bin-bags we can chuck all this rubbish in, it''s not a problem." No Delia! The ''mess''! Y''know, the way the club is heading under our tenure!" "Tenner! Tenner? Neil, there''s no way our shares are going for a tenner to that Peter Crumble!" said scowling Delia....The CE shrugged, then stared down at the plush expensive carpet, it was covered in fag-burns and red wine stains...."Must get that replaced, it''s in an atrocious state" he thought.....Roger stared blankly out of the window at the pitch - as nicorette dribble, trickled down his club tie. Fouly let out a deep fizzy coke induced belch - and then broke wind, before taking a large bite of his drumstick.....Delia had dozed off with a wine glass clasped in her hand, and Micky W was flicking through the pages of the book they were reading - that was now actually, upside down..... 

The CE said brightly "Well fellow Directors, it''s been a most productive meeting, and things seem to be moving forward. Same again next week. Another full-house and hopefully 3 points in the bag! Then, it''s onward to the play-offs with Glenn and the boys!"

Spinning around - and with fleet of foot, the CE slid out of the door, closed it quietly.....Walking down the corridor shaking his head he said to himself..."Tsk! If it wasn''t for the salary".....

Time 13:30 

Outside the Ground.

"Well, an hour in the gym, then it''s off home to listen to Girls Aloud and the Sugababes - and read my ''Millionaire mag'' - while I have a long soak in the bath"......"OTBC".

Doomy smiled, a broader smile thanks to the choccy stains, popped a sour-sweet into his mouth - and made his way to his C5....

Time 13:37......Finito.

Total fabrication, is my above post.

            

[ron obvious 1,502]

[quote user="Mister Chops"]I''m from the Judean People''s Front.[/quote]Sorry .... can''t ..... not ......                      SPLITTER !!!!!!!!

[astrodyne 0]

Excellent Mello[:D][Y]

[Camuldonum 0]

[quote user="Mello Yello"][quote user="Evil Monkey"]

[quote user="Camuldonum"]

Whatever, it''s just the thought of Joe, Emma, Gemma tracking the move of dissenters 24/7 and reporting back to Doomcaster that cracks me up.

Joe: "I''ve got Cluckcaster Neil.  I''m on him, fear not.

Neil: "Tell him it''s a bad time of the year for chickens."

Gemma: "Neil, Smudger alert."

Neil: "Do you need help?"

Gemma: "No, I can handle him.  It''s not difficult..  We call him mouth and trousers."

Emma: "Neil, Joe.  I''ve an incoming Good News Gordon.  I need help."

Neil: "Tell him Shola isn''t in the building and there isn''t a press conference at 1 p.m." 

Emma: "Great, thanks.  He''s gone away but he did say he was going to turn up as someone else............"

[/quote]

Quite so, Cam... because the club employees obviously have nothing better to do with their time.  Personally, I agree with Squit, its all an elaborate double-bluff - Mello is Delia and Cluck is Doomcaster.  They certainly talk with as much wit and intelligence as those two.... QED, I say! [;)]

[/quote]

Says the ''bundle of chuckles'', siding with a tired and woeful washed out journo.....[:|]

[/quote]

All journo''s are tired, woeful,  washed out scum....I thought that everyone knew that?

Fortunately it is a wonderful job which makes up for it.  Wouldn''t have missed it for anything and still going[:D]

.

 

[William Darby 0]

[quote user="Camuldonum"][quote user="Mello Yello"][quote user="Evil Monkey"]

[quote user="Camuldonum"]

Whatever, it''s just the thought of Joe, Emma, Gemma tracking the move of dissenters 24/7 and reporting back to Doomcaster that cracks me up.

Joe: "I''ve got Cluckcaster Neil.  I''m on him, fear not.

Neil: "Tell him it''s a bad time of the year for chickens."

Gemma: "Neil, Smudger alert."

Neil: "Do you need help?"

Gemma: "No, I can handle him.  It''s not difficult..  We call him mouth and trousers."

Emma: "Neil, Joe.  I''ve an incoming Good News Gordon.  I need help."

Neil: "Tell him Shola isn''t in the building and there isn''t a press conference at 1 p.m." 

Emma: "Great, thanks.  He''s gone away but he did say he was going to turn up as someone else............"

[/quote]

Quite so, Cam... because the club employees obviously have nothing better to do with their time.  Personally, I agree with Squit, its all an elaborate double-bluff - Mello is Delia and Cluck is Doomcaster.  They certainly talk with as much wit and intelligence as those two.... QED, I say! [;)]

[/quote]

Says the ''bundle of chuckles'', siding with a tired and woeful washed out journo.....[:|]

[/quote]

All journo''s are tired, woeful,  washed out scum....I thought that everyone knew that?

Fortunately it is a wonderful job which makes up for it.  Wouldn''t have missed it for anything and still going[:D]

.

 

[/quote]Not all journos misplace their apostrophes as much as you though Cam.  As there''s plenty of conspiracies flying around I wonder if you''re really a club mole and not really a journo.

[Camuldonum 0]

But I hope you noticed I added in scum.[:D]

Anyway we tried yesterday on the Norwich Legend being banned by The Wicked Roeder but, unfortunately, it fell apart before our very eyes.

Or as the Lowestoft Town Secretary put it: "It''s not quite like that............"

Which actually isn''t what you want to hear.  We tried, anyway.[+o(]

 

[Mello Yello 2,289]

[quote user="Camuldonum"][quote user="Mello Yello"][quote user="Evil Monkey"]

[quote user="Camuldonum"]

Whatever, it''s just the thought of Joe, Emma, Gemma tracking the move of dissenters 24/7 and reporting back to Doomcaster that cracks me up.

Joe: "I''ve got Cluckcaster Neil.  I''m on him, fear not.

Neil: "Tell him it''s a bad time of the year for chickens."

Gemma: "Neil, Smudger alert."

Neil: "Do you need help?"

Gemma: "No, I can handle him.  It''s not difficult..  We call him mouth and trousers."

Emma: "Neil, Joe.  I''ve an incoming Good News Gordon.  I need help."

Neil: "Tell him Shola isn''t in the building and there isn''t a press conference at 1 p.m." 

Emma: "Great, thanks.  He''s gone away but he did say he was going to turn up as someone else............"

[/quote]

Quite so, Cam... because the club employees obviously have nothing better to do with their time.  Personally, I agree with Squit, its all an elaborate double-bluff - Mello is Delia and Cluck is Doomcaster.  They certainly talk with as much wit and intelligence as those two.... QED, I say! [;)]

[/quote]

Says the ''bundle of chuckles'', siding with a tired and woeful washed out journo.....[:|]

[/quote]

All journo''s are tired, woeful,  washed out scum....I thought that everyone knew that?

Fortunately it is a wonderful job which makes up for it.  Wouldn''t have missed it for anything and still going[:D]

[/quote]

Respected and true journalist types and reporters - get in where it''s happening....Not idly meandering around football message boards, like a lackadaisical limping and ageing vulture....Hopping and hoping, peering over the younger, feasting and bloodied birds - in an attempt to pick up a few scrappy offerings of tawdry yesterday''s news - and occasionally squawking and screeching about past glories, having wrote about, and rubbed shoulders with the once famous. All that is now left with this vulture in a void, is looking through failing eyes for a slightly interested audience - that actually gives a damn? Why not stop sticking your weathered weak beak into the rotting carcass that is rapidly becoming NCFC.....Feel that wind between your tired wings - and flap away to some other source of scraps....I for one, certainly won''t miss you.[|-)]