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Mighty Green and Yellow

Re: Bernard Matthews

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What would you do if you woke up one day, you went downstairs and switched on the tv to watch Sky Sports News and it had been announced that Bernard Matthews had taken over as Norwich City owner from Delia and Micheal Wynn Jones? As part of the deal, the Barclay End stand was called the "bootifull" stand and the two new mascots were called "The Carrow Road Chicken" and "Tim the turkey"?

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[quote user="Mighty Green and Yellow"]What would you do if you woke up one day, you went downstairs and switched on the tv to watch Sky Sports News and it had been announced that Bernard Matthews had taken over as Norwich City owner from Delia and Micheal Wynn Jones? As part of the deal, the Barclay End stand was called the "bootifull" stand and the two new mascots were called "The Carrow Road Chicken" and "Tim the turkey"?[/quote]

Wouldnt be that much different. Its not like the club isnt already run by a bunch of headless chickens.

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[quote user="Mighty Green and Yellow"]What would you do if you woke up one day, you went downstairs and switched on the tv to watch Sky Sports News and it had been announced that Bernard Matthews had taken over as Norwich City owner from Delia and Micheal Wynn Jones? As part of the deal, the Barclay End stand was called the "bootifull" stand and the two new mascots were called "The Carrow Road Chicken" and "Tim the turkey"?[/quote]

 

stop taking them tablets before bedtime

 

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If we got to the Cup Final it could be called The Matthews Final and all the players could wear big baggie shorts, have their hair cut short and parted in the middle. They could get a copper on a White Horse to gallop around and frighten the crowd (or was that another game). Smoking would be compulsory in all areas of the ground and Match of the Day would be in black and white!.....and we''d all go home for tea and Hovis.

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[quote user="Mighty Green and Yellow"]What would you do if you woke up one day, you went downstairs and switched on the tv to watch Sky Sports News and it had been announced that Bernard Matthews had taken over as Norwich City owner from Delia and Micheal Wynn Jones? As part of the deal, the Barclay End stand was called the "bootifull" stand and the two new mascots were called "The Carrow Road Chicken" and "Tim the turkey"?[/quote]

I think we would be well and truly "stuffed"....[:D]....arrdee.

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Many years ago when the River End was open terrace and football highlights had Pearl and Dean adverts and Newsreel as an introduction Man City had a top young player named barnes who helped stuff us 3 - 1 at home (I think) in the cup.

Bernard Matthews sponsored the match and had a man dressed up as a giant turkey behind the goal. The prat jumped up and down and flapped his wings as each opposition goal went in. This was national steriotypical humiliation which made Delia''s pitch rant look like Kofi Anan.

It was on late night national highlights and was so painful to watch. Matthews hasn''t been allowed anywhere near since and may he forever keep his distance as I have never forgiven him.

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I have heard that Matthews, after consulting with the Turners, and following Doncaster''s revelations in the local press, has decided to replace the entire playing staff with turkeys in a bid to cut the wage bill. The ''highest flying '' turkey''s wage demands are only 4K a week which halves the reported amount being paid to many current players.

He also wants to increase the size of the squad considerably, believing there is room inside Carrow Road for at least 25 000 of our feathered friends and even proposes that the wives and girlfriends be allowed to live there too in order to encourage the creation of the next generation of NCFC players.

The only drawback is that squad numbers may be somewhat depleted for the Boxing Day and New Year fixtures.

There may also be negative reports in the tabloid press regarding ''roastings'' occurring.

The other problem is that Wednesday''s EDP is set to reveal the Sultan of Brunei''s plans to hijack Matthews'' takeover plans, and there is no room in his thinking for turkeys.

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