Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
.

Dodgy football related emails.

Recommended Posts

No doubt you get dodgy emails sent by pals...(many too rude to post on here)...but thought this might appeal.

 

 

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch.


The woman''s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the cupboard,
not realising that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, ''Dark in here.''
The man says, ''Yes, it is.''
Boy - ''I have a football.''
Man - ''That''s nice.''
Boy - ''Want to buy it?''
Man - ''No, thanks.''
Boy - ''My dad''s outside.''
Man - ''OK, how much?''
Boy - ''£250''

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy
and the lover are in the cupboard together.
Boy - ''Dark in here.''
Man - ''Yes, it is.''
Boy - ''I have football boots.''
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy,
''How much?''
Boy - ''£750''
Man - ''Sold.''

A few days later, the boys father says to the boy,
''Grab your boots and football, let''s go outside and
have a game of soccer.

The boy says, ''I can''t, I sold my ball and boots.''
The father asks, ''How much did you sell them for?''
Boy -''£1,000.''

The father says, ''That''s terrible to overcharge your
friends like that. That is way more than those two
things cost. I''m going to take you to church and make
you confess.''

They go to the church and the father makes the little
boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the
door.
The boy says, ''Dark in here.''
The priest says, ''Don''t start that crap again.
You''re in my cupboard now''

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
i have one.Two men were at a football match and it was just seconds away from kick-off.

"Man," said the first man, "I''m bursting for a pee, and the toilets

are miles away"

"Don''t worry," said the second man. "You see that bloke in front

of you? Just pee up his leg."

"Are you crazy?" said the first man, "that bloke''s massive."

"Oh," said the second man, "he won''t notice anything."

"How do you know?" said the first man.

"Because I''ve just peed up yours!" said the second man.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just got this one.........

 

Gary Glitter has issued a statement on his release from prison,

"He wishes to go where he will be left in peace, alone, out of the
spotlight and has no intention of travelling abroad in the foreseeable
future"

Newcastle has offered him a 3 year contract.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
[quote user="Neil Cluckcaster"]

I just got this one.........

 

Gary Glitter has issued a statement on his release from prison,"He wishes to go where he will be left in peace, alone, out of thespotlight and has no intention of travelling abroad in the foreseeablefuture"Newcastle has offered him a 3 year contract.

[/quote]Cluck you funny funny man [:)]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...