whoareyou? 0 Posted February 9, 2008 [;)]Well hello soccer fans of the world, its gameweek one in the new season of the WWEPL, and for any new converts to soccer, that''s the World Wide England Premier League, the preeemier sports entertainment brand, brought direct to your televison screens, MP4 players and internet live feeds by Vince McMahon and the WWE network, SkySports, Budweiser the KINNNGGG Of beers, McDonalds who are lovin it, Mastercard the official card of the Liverpool Red Handers, LLoyds TSB the bank that likes to say "maybe", Aunt Bessys sponsors of the Pudding of the Week award (by the way soccer fans, Tottenham Hot Yellow Stars goalminder Paul Robinson is going for his eighth successive win in that laugh a minute category), British Telecom who say "we said it''s good to talk, not cheap to talk", Sony PS83 where YOU can be in control. Gameweek one saw the Manchester AIG Globetrotters taking on the Derby Pedigree Chums in a home tie at The Tena Stadium here in downtown Shenzhen. After standing to attention for the WWEPL anthem, that classic reworking of "Money, Money, Money" sung by the official WWEPL songsters, Simon And The X-Factors, the AIG Globetrotters win the toss and elect to receive the ball facing the Smog End. A wise choice as that way they''ll be defending through the chemical haze as it descends to cover their net in the last period. The Pedigree Chums kick off and immediately 46 year old veteran Biggggg Stevie Howard fires an attempt at the AIG Globetrotters net. Experienced observers say it was his best attempt in two game years. From the resulting throw on near the AIG Globetrotters defensive corner post however, AIG Globetrotters wing wonder Gary "Grandmaster Flash" McSheffrey takes the ball on an amazing run through the Pedigree Chums deefence before picking up the ball cleverly in the sleeves of his jersey and stepping into the net. GOAL!!! AIG Globetrotters. Amazingly, the Pedigree Chums'' manager, Stevie "image rights" Bruce contests the decision saying it was handball. Clearly the ball was only touching McSheffrey''s jersey not his hand, but with Image Rights making a Coach''s Challenge, we have to go to the viewer vote. A tense five minutes follows as we wait for the online results. IT''S A GOAL, by 124,120,275 votes to 12 at only 25p each so we go into the post goal commercial break as sponsored by KitKat, we see AIG Globetrotters mascot, Ronald McTrafford running onto the touchline ready to tip the bucket of WWEPLade over Image Rights for his unsuccessful coach''s challenge. He''ll think twice before challenging the AIG Referee again. Returning to the match up, Pedigree Chums kick off again and attempt to frustrate the AIG Globetrotters by playing possession soccer across their deefensive line. Did no one tell Image Rights about the new shot clock rule in this soccer game? Five minutes in possesion and no shot attempt, the AIG sponsored referee whistles and throws down his Floors2Go sponsored penalty flag, so it''s PENALTY AIG Globetrotters!! Wait! AIG Globetrotters manager Alex BIGMAN Ferguson chooses this moment to introduce his Fan Player For The Day. It appears that 10 year old Zheng Zsi Taong from Beijing, who''s father paid over £1,000,000 for him to get the chance to play five minutes in a genyouwine WWEPL matchup will take the penalty shot. Taong runs up in his sparkling new AIG Globetrotter uniform, available from KKC Sports right NOW, and shoots! Oh no, it''s saved by the Pedigree Chums Goalminder Maiky Taylor, playing his 264th game without a clean sheet. The boos ring out around The Tena Stadium as little Zheng breaks down in tears. BIGMAN is going ballistic on the touchline and issues a coach''s challenge saying that Taylor moved off his line. Unlikely we know, but once again, it''s viewer vote time. Five minutes tick agonisingly by for little Zheng, who is being comforted by Christiano "The Portugese ManO''War" Ronaldo''s girlfriend, Big Brother 27 Winner, Sharon Slicker and her twin sister who insists on just being called by her intial, R. The votes are in, by 153,356,452 votes to 3 at only 25p each, it''s a retake!! and BIGMAN avoids the WWEPLade shower. Punishment for Taylor''s cheating is harsh, he''s being taken off to Guantanamo Bay already. Little Zheng runs in and FIRES the ball into the empty net. GOAL!!! AIG Globetrotters. After the post goal commercial break sponsored by KitKat, the AIG Globetrotters are totally in control. Pedigree Chum''s manager Steve Image Rights Bruce has now retired to sit in the Tampax Stand behind the technical area, he appears to be turning purple, but no one can be sure. AIG Globetrotters star centre offense player, Wayne "Mad Dog" Rooney at one stage thinks it''s so easy he wanders off into the area of the ground reserved for players post match entertainment, all 3,000 of the gorgeous young AIG Globetrotter cheerleaders sitting there are happy to keep him entertained, especially the 72 year old grandmother of the Slicker twins who appears to be be resting her head in his lap. After a short while Mad Dog is obviously keen to return to the action though, as he appears to be twitching his leg causing her head to keep moving up and down. God bless her for trying to keep his hamstrings warm. The second, third and fouth periods of the game followed a similar pattern, AIG Globetrotters totally dominating play, but seeming to show more interest in the gorgeous young cheerleaders than bothering to complete the humiliation of the Pedigree Chums. Final Goal Count. Manchester AIG Globetrotters 2, Derby Pedigree Chums 0. Attendance 12,500 TV & Live Feed Audience 1,453,053,865 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
macdougalls perm 0 Posted February 9, 2008 Brilliant!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
InLambertWeTrust! 0 Posted February 9, 2008 how long did it take you to write that? Too much time on your hands? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
whoareyou? 0 Posted February 9, 2008 Who knows? It was emailed to me! [:)] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Voice of the Thorpe Area 0 Posted February 9, 2008 Haha great post! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Feathers 0 Posted February 10, 2008 Ha ha and disturbingly in the MLS you already have the New York Red Bulls... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mister Chops 7 Posted February 10, 2008 [quote user="C.T "]how long did it take you to write that? Too much time on your hands?[/quote]God, lighten up man.Funny post, nice one. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alex_ncfc 686 Posted February 10, 2008 Superb post [img]http://uk.geocities.com/alex_sutton_2000_uk/msn/laugh.gif[/img] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fozzie 0 Posted February 10, 2008 I was hoping the Earth would have reached the galactic plateau in 2012, evolving mankind into formless entities of pure energy....And Newcastle fans evolving to gain a sense of realism. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Feathers 0 Posted February 11, 2008 call me romantic, but did anyone think that it was nice that during the Manchester derby today there were no sponsors on the shirts?Ah the joy of not being sold anything! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Evil Monkey 52 Posted February 11, 2008 Cracking post, whoareyou... the downside of it all, however, is that I could really see it happening.... It was a beautiful game, once..... [:''(] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The ghost of Michael Theoklitos 0 Posted February 11, 2008 How many ironically endorsed team names can we think of?Ipswich Sheela''s Wheels? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
