What has the E.U. in store for City ?

[arrdee 2]

As I see a European club has complained to the European Parliament over the size of the squads of English clubs playing in Europe ,what action can we expect to be taken ?

Will the same policy be adopted for the football industry as the pig industry ? As I regard the European Parliament as a large asylum where member countries send their M.P. s that show any sigh of craziness . I have sent over 70 letters to the Secretary of State without reply so far which I can''t understand .All the letters have been different but with the same theme running through them . If I could give you one or two extracts from my letters you will perhaps see what they have in store for our football clubs ,

Dear Secretary of State ,

My friend has been producing 50 pigs a year for the last 30 odd years until this year , recently he received a cheque for £3,000 for not keeping any . My friend is very pleased with this as the most profit he has ever made was in 1983 when he made £1,800 from his 50 pigs until this year .

I feel I would like to join the"not keeping pigs" business . I have all the buildings ready for not keeping pigs In fact I can bring into play a small shed where my grandson keeps his battery operated tractor now that shed must be good for not keeping several thousand pigs ,and Nathans little tractor can still fit in .As you can see I am ready start at once if that would help What kind of pigs would you not want me to produce ? Bacon or porkers ? as I am very adaptable I could not produce either if you like . Now are there any advantages in not producing rare breeds such as Essex ,Wessex Saddlebacks or Gloucester Old Spots ,or are there too many people already not keeping these ?.

If I get £3,000 for not producing 50 this will mean £6,000 for every 100 not produced .I plan to operate on a small scale to start with holding myself in check and only not producing 4,000 which will mean £240,000 in my first year of not producing pigs . As i become more expert in not keeping pigs I plan to become more ambitious and increasing to 40,000 not produced in my second year,for which I should expect about £2.4 million from your department .

I can only see one problem with this "not keeping pigs"business that''s "Charlie" my boar as I plan to keep "Charlie" because he has become a family pet I do intend to ask for compensation on "Charlies" behalf .As he will be going from all action to zilch, that''s going to put him in a right old mind , In fact I don''t think I can face those sad eyes saying "sod the grub arrdee where are the women" so if you could send someone over from the Ministry each morning to feed"Charlie"and clean him out., I feel I must issue  a word of warning at this point as "Charlies" pent up frustrations grow more intense and remembering "Charlie" is a big old clumsy boy and if your man from the ministry does get knocked over and ends up on his hands and knees , well I wish the guy all the luck in the world .

Now if the European Parliament adopts  the same sort of plan for capping  our football clubs and restricting our squads to 30 players and paying £1 million for every player not produced so say if the City had a squad of 25 they would receive 5 million per year from the "set aside football fund "on the other hand the big clubs that go over their quota will have to pay £1 million for every player  into the fund . Now don''t laugh because there is some little Bureaucrat sitting in his office somewhere in Europe thinking  up the same plan.[;)][:D]arrdee.

[Tangible Fixed Assets anyone? 0]

This is the same organisation that has not had its Accounts signed off by the Auditors for ages and I mean ages!  No wonder!

 

I wonder if NCFC can get a grant for growing invisible olives?

 

 

 

[dickyst220 0]

As well as non existing players could we get paid for not breeding Canaries ???? 

[Mello Yello 2,289]

[quote user="Canary Nut"]

This is the same organisation that has not had its Accounts signed off by the Auditors for ages and I mean ages!  No wonder!

 

I wonder if NCFC can get a grant for growing invisible olives?

[/quote]

Don''t laugh.......I used to drive along the winding roads of  Italy, admiring the plethora of Olive Groves that were totally invisible (non-existent) - and replaced with huge (non-producing) and dusty expanses of barren land......and yet......funding was made available.

Don''t worry though.......Our Eagle (but slightly myopic, unless it''s perusing through their pay-chits, personal claims or an affluent restaurant menu) eyed representative British MEPs and that stoic stalwart Mr Mandleson - will soon highlight and sort out the abuse of the EU system......They won''t let us be made mugs!

"Anyone for a straight cucumber?"........"Rich thick Gravy sir/madam on your Brussels - whilst travellin'' 1st class on your ''Train''?".......[:|] 

 

[BlyBlyBabes 0]

Well, since we''ve not been breeding and fattening first teamers at Colney since the days of Robert Chase, maybe we could get a grant to continue with this policy so that there will be an even bigger demand for EU imports?

That is unless the EU Trade Commission would prefer us to stock up with Brazilians.

OTBC

 

[still holding out for new heroes 0]

hmm dont all club have to register a fixed number of players for each stage of European competition (for example Ballack being ommitted from Chelseas champions league squad) so I''m not sure there''s any basis to this thread.

[arrdee 2]

Alf you lovely old boy , I think the complaint is the large number of players that the English Clubs have in the first place top make their selections from .what they are saying (a French club) I believe  Is that the players they register are all they have got . So there you go .arrdee.

[nutty nigel 7,533]

[quote user="arrdee"]Alf you lovely old boy , I think the complaint is the large number of players that the English Clubs have in the first place top make their selections from .what they are saying (a French club) I believe  Is that the players they register are all they have got . So there you go .arrdee.
[/quote]

Any system brought in always seems to favour the big clubs with most money. I don''t think it can be avoided because money will always talk.

My pet hate is the transfer window which really does favour the rich clubs because of the large squads they can afford to carry. It''s my understanding that one of the reasons for the transfer window in the first place was to stop the richer clubs being able to buy their way out of trouble if key players got injured. But the reality is that they are able to buy their way out of trouble before the season starts by assembling a squad of top players big enough to cope with any eventuality. Then huge salaries are paid to players who fans rarely get the chance to watch where as poorer clubs are often left with threadbare squads that have been decimated by injury.

I don''t believe the transfer window system has any real good points and would quite happily revert back to the way things used to be.