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Mark Rivers

I'm Mark Rivers

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Hello all Pink''un readers.

I''m Mark Rivers of Norwich City Football Club. Firstly, I would just like to say that I have just got back from holiday and I''m now ready to report for the new season on Monday.

I have suffered a great deal with a niggling injury this past year but hopefully now can get back into the managers plans. With the fantastic supporters we have at Norwich City I believe we can accomplish great things this coming season and surprise one or two. I''m still just 29 and sincerely believe I still have the pace and determination to hold down a first team place.

I look forward to seeing you all in August if not before.

See you soon
Mark R

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Well Mark l personally would like to wish you all the best though l reckon this post is a wind up
but nevertheless l hope you get back into the team and show us the form that persuaded us to pay 600k for you a couple of years ago .

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Hi I''m Fabian Wilnis,

I know that everyone on this board will make me feel welcome. good luck to the Canaries next season.

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Mark ? You are without doubt the most abject apology for a professional footballer i have ever seen in a city shirt.Harsh yes but the truth often is,now go and prove me wrong.To the pc amongst you dont even bother he''s had enough chances !

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Tweety Pie, if only you were right.

However, I remember De Waard, Cottee, Walsh etc etc, and the fact that Rivo is now apparently our laziest player shows you how far we have come in a short space of time. He knocks spots off the aforementioned in both class and workrate.

Mark, if that is you, then keep plugging away, give up smoking and let''s have some repeat performances of those games when you were untouchable!! But at 29 you should be playing regularly and consistently, so you may want to listen to Burnley''s offer and go show Turf Moor what you can do.

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Maybe we should get all the pro-Rivers lot on one side and the anti-rivers lot on the otherside, then have a massive ruck to final settle the Quality vs Dodgy debate.

If he did go to Turf Moor we would have to find something else to argue about.

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Reply 1- If it''s a wind up:

LOL! Hi Mark, it''s John Lennon! Fancy meetin up with me and Elvis for a drink in Asda''s cafe?

Reply 2- If it''s genuine (unlikely I know!)

Hi Mark. It''s fair to say that when you first came to this club I was very very excited. I really rated you at Crewe and thought Worthy had made a fantastic signing. I think you would agree that you haven''t played your best football at Norwich and haven''t quite lived up expectations. If you genuinely believe that you will be able to put in the hours, have the fitness and the talent for the Premiership then good on you. I would love to see the pacey Mark Rivers I saw at Crewe in our team. If however, you believe that deep down you might not be able to cut it, it might be better for you and the club if you parted so you could get regular first team football elsewhere, which I''m sure you could do.

Good luck with whatever you do

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Good point bananaman,but with the exception of DeWaard, Walsh /Cottee had excellent career''s and were clearly looking for a pay day which we provided.Rivers however has tons of ability and is 29 so should be at the height of his ability for whatever we havent seen it which i find among with other,s bloody frustrating.Also we had to bring in 2 players on loan to play his position i am aware he was injured for some of that period but never made the side after that injury.

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Who is this demented imposter with his grammatically correct English?

Mark Rivers? Pah!

I am the REAL Mark Rivers, and am actually in hiding in exile-land, waiting for my chance to come back and show you all what I''m really made of...

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This is like never mind the buzzcocks!
I am indeed the real Mark Rivers currently spending the summer as a deckchair attendant at the open air swimming pool in royston vasey. This has been the hardest i have worked in many a year as the pensioners have to be watched or they try to get the deckchairs for longer than they have paid.
Also i wont be moving to burnley as they have no decent hairdressers who can do highlights so i may move in with Keith ONiell instead!

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No, I''m the REAL Mark Rivers.

I''m spending my summer holidays working as a taster in a doughnut factory on Craggie Island.

Its been nice to get away from that fussy Mr Worthington, I''ve had me hair done right good like and got meeself stocked up on some duty frees. Put the word out via me agent, Margaret, that Burnley are interested - and dropped an e-mail to my mate Clint to see if we can team up again somewhere grand like Scarborough.

See ya folks. Whistles blown. Got a supa-whoppa to sort out now.

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Enough of all these imposters,and their lack of sympathy for me with my long term medical problem.I have now officially been diagnosed as having a Priapism,or at least the gaffer says I play like one.[see chambers english dictionary page1158 for details]I AM THE REAL MARK RIVERS!!

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if you are mark rivers where abouts in norfolk do u live i would know cause i live next door to the real mark rivers ok tell me this what is your daughters name and when was her date of birth and what her name ?????

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I live above the cigarette counter at Alan Taylors Newsagents[a true profesional] my daughters name is Polly Wimbley..she also smokes like a chimbley[but she''s my little nicotene gal]!

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Natalie do u live in South Norfolk then because I live in same village as Mark too. Do u live by a river (no pun) near a newsagents and a pub called the White Horse

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at present im living in the deckchair hiring hut on the beach at royston vasey. However this is only a temporary arrangement as i have today been given the sack from my job for being lazy and only looking after half the deckchairs and not being a teamplayer with the other attendants.
Anyone how can offer alternative living arrangements please let me know. As for me living above the cigarette counter i am consulting my lawyers at present for such slanderous accusations and my daughters name is Wolly Pimbley not Polly Wimbley .

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Well, I must say I am surprised at some of the reactions on this computer message board.

Shame on blacko, FatMan Fat, Swarney, Spawn, Essexyella, Flick Fleck, Ayrton Twigge and nolegs for taking the micky! You may laugh and joke.

I can understand Turn to The Yellow Side.... and DumbleDelia Is Magic for being unsure as no one really has any idea who is on here. And and big thank you to harrogate canary, shortfatb and bananaman for the support and encouragment you have given me. That was a real booster and it is nice to think that some Norwich City fans still have faith in me. I hope I can repay that this year.

Unfortunately for natalie, I will not be posting private family information for all to see for obvious reasons. I get enough stick as it is.

As for TWEETY PIE and 1st Wizard, you should not be on this site!

All the best and look forward to seeing you soon.
MR

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Sorry the real mark rivers I thought this thread was for general fun and not to be taken too seriously,saying that if you are the real one, be proffesional ,get fit, give up the fags,show some commitment,put out a public statement to the fans and pass a defender instead of cutting inside and passing back to the centre midfield thus putting the responsibility onto other players.Or in other words shape up or ship out.!!

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The last time i saw Mark Rivers was in the bar at Walsall FC with his mate, Clint while Hucks and Crouch were creating mayhem on the pitch!!!! Says it all really !!

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Well if you think Rivers is bad (which i personally dont think he''s to bad),what about a mention for some slumps from years ago.ie....Paul Haylock,Kevin Bond & his old man,Ross Jack,Robert Rosario,Roger Handsbury,John O''neil,Mick Maguire,Kevin Phillips.Gary Megson as player & manager,Ashley Ward,Efan Ekoku,Ade Akinbiyi,Keith O''neil..Geeeeez the list of useless t***ers we have had over the years is endless and this bunch came into my head within seconds. I could carry on but could be on here all night and probably only get to the mid 90''s teams,so im gonna bog off....

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well i think that it is the real mark rivers and if so and not a wind up then good on ya mate for coming on the site and telling us about ya. i do actually like watching him play and i think its a bit harsh of everyone to be slating him we should try and encourge him not dis him he is after all a yella. and we can''t say conclusively that he has been lazy cos we dont know the full extent of his injury sure sometimes he doesn''t tracj back but does hucks ? we should conserve are energy''s to cheer the boys on.
come on mark show them what a player me and lots of people think you are which is good player

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I''ll go with that Twosheds.
I know he was only a loan, but I don''t think I''ll ever be able to erase the horrible spectre of Simon Tracey from my memory.

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hiya neilson

firstly the ''village'' in question is in fact a town, and yes, undoubtedly natalie lives next door to mark

and guess what, a big fat pink pig has just flown past the window

yes, there is a newsagents across the road, a pub called the white horse and also a lot of other cracking pubs there - i used to work in the doctor''s surgery there, trying to help people like natalie!!!!!

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