Mark Rivers 0 Posted June 22, 2004 Hello all Pink''un readers.I''m Mark Rivers of Norwich City Football Club. Firstly, I would just like to say that I have just got back from holiday and I''m now ready to report for the new season on Monday.I have suffered a great deal with a niggling injury this past year but hopefully now can get back into the managers plans. With the fantastic supporters we have at Norwich City I believe we can accomplish great things this coming season and surprise one or two. I''m still just 29 and sincerely believe I still have the pace and determination to hold down a first team place.I look forward to seeing you all in August if not before.See you soonMark R Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
blacko 0 Posted June 22, 2004 Hello I''m Elvis and I''ll see you on Top of the Pops on Friday Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
harrogate canary 0 Posted June 22, 2004 Well Mark l personally would like to wish you all the best though l reckon this post is a wind upbut nevertheless l hope you get back into the team and show us the form that persuaded us to pay 600k for you a couple of years ago . Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FatMan Fat 0 Posted June 23, 2004 Hi, and I am Sparticus!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Swarney 0 Posted June 23, 2004 Own up who is it? Mark do you ship in ASDA? I heard you were spotted in Burnley ASDA! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Picto2007 0 Posted June 23, 2004 Hi I''m Fabian Wilnis,I know that everyone on this board will make me feel welcome. good luck to the Canaries next season. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shortfatb 0 Posted June 23, 2004 At the risk of appearing ingenuous, I really hope it is Mark Rivers and if it is good luck to him. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Essexyella 0 Posted June 23, 2004 Wasnt aware ASDA had been taken over by a cruiseline company! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TWEETY PIE 0 Posted June 23, 2004 Mark ? You are without doubt the most abject apology for a professional footballer i have ever seen in a city shirt.Harsh yes but the truth often is,now go and prove me wrong.To the pc amongst you dont even bother he''s had enough chances ! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bananaman 0 Posted June 23, 2004 Tweety Pie, if only you were right.However, I remember De Waard, Cottee, Walsh etc etc, and the fact that Rivo is now apparently our laziest player shows you how far we have come in a short space of time. He knocks spots off the aforementioned in both class and workrate.Mark, if that is you, then keep plugging away, give up smoking and let''s have some repeat performances of those games when you were untouchable!! But at 29 you should be playing regularly and consistently, so you may want to listen to Burnley''s offer and go show Turf Moor what you can do. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Being Jan Kristiansen... 0 Posted June 23, 2004 Maybe we should get all the pro-Rivers lot on one side and the anti-rivers lot on the otherside, then have a massive ruck to final settle the Quality vs Dodgy debate.If he did go to Turf Moor we would have to find something else to argue about. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DumbleDelia is Magic 0 Posted June 23, 2004 Reply 1- If it''s a wind up:LOL! Hi Mark, it''s John Lennon! Fancy meetin up with me and Elvis for a drink in Asda''s cafe?Reply 2- If it''s genuine (unlikely I know!)Hi Mark. It''s fair to say that when you first came to this club I was very very excited. I really rated you at Crewe and thought Worthy had made a fantastic signing. I think you would agree that you haven''t played your best football at Norwich and haven''t quite lived up expectations. If you genuinely believe that you will be able to put in the hours, have the fitness and the talent for the Premiership then good on you. I would love to see the pacey Mark Rivers I saw at Crewe in our team. If however, you believe that deep down you might not be able to cut it, it might be better for you and the club if you parted so you could get regular first team football elsewhere, which I''m sure you could do.Good luck with whatever you do Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
First Wizard 0 Posted June 23, 2004 If you are that lazy s**, which I really doubt, then p*** off quickly, you useless t****!. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TWEETY PIE 0 Posted June 23, 2004 Good point bananaman,but with the exception of DeWaard, Walsh /Cottee had excellent career''s and were clearly looking for a pay day which we provided.Rivers however has tons of ability and is 29 so should be at the height of his ability for whatever we havent seen it which i find among with other,s bloody frustrating.Also we had to bring in 2 players on loan to play his position i am aware he was injured for some of that period but never made the side after that injury. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flick Fleck 0 Posted June 23, 2004 Who is this demented imposter with his grammatically correct English?Mark Rivers? Pah!I am the REAL Mark Rivers, and am actually in hiding in exile-land, waiting for my chance to come back and show you all what I''m really made of... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Essexyella 0 Posted June 23, 2004 This is like never mind the buzzcocks!I am indeed the real Mark Rivers currently spending the summer as a deckchair attendant at the open air swimming pool in royston vasey. This has been the hardest i have worked in many a year as the pensioners have to be watched or they try to get the deckchairs for longer than they have paid. Also i wont be moving to burnley as they have no decent hairdressers who can do highlights so i may move in with Keith ONiell instead! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ayrton Twigge 0 Posted June 23, 2004 No, I''m the REAL Mark Rivers.I''m spending my summer holidays working as a taster in a doughnut factory on Craggie Island.Its been nice to get away from that fussy Mr Worthington, I''ve had me hair done right good like and got meeself stocked up on some duty frees. Put the word out via me agent, Margaret, that Burnley are interested - and dropped an e-mail to my mate Clint to see if we can team up again somewhere grand like Scarborough.See ya folks. Whistles blown. Got a supa-whoppa to sort out now. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nolegs 0 Posted June 23, 2004 Enough of all these imposters,and their lack of sympathy for me with my long term medical problem.I have now officially been diagnosed as having a Priapism,or at least the gaffer says I play like one.[see chambers english dictionary page1158 for details]I AM THE REAL MARK RIVERS!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
natalie 0 Posted June 23, 2004 if you are mark rivers where abouts in norfolk do u live i would know cause i live next door to the real mark rivers ok tell me this what is your daughters name and when was her date of birth and what her name ????? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nolegs 0 Posted June 23, 2004 I live above the cigarette counter at Alan Taylors Newsagents[a true profesional] my daughters name is Polly Wimbley..she also smokes like a chimbley[but she''s my little nicotene gal]! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Neilson 6 0 Posted June 23, 2004 Natalie do u live in South Norfolk then because I live in same village as Mark too. Do u live by a river (no pun) near a newsagents and a pub called the White Horse Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Essexyella 0 Posted June 23, 2004 at present im living in the deckchair hiring hut on the beach at royston vasey. However this is only a temporary arrangement as i have today been given the sack from my job for being lazy and only looking after half the deckchairs and not being a teamplayer with the other attendants.Anyone how can offer alternative living arrangements please let me know. As for me living above the cigarette counter i am consulting my lawyers at present for such slanderous accusations and my daughters name is Wolly Pimbley not Polly Wimbley . Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mark Rivers 0 Posted June 23, 2004 Well, I must say I am surprised at some of the reactions on this computer message board.Shame on blacko, FatMan Fat, Swarney, Spawn, Essexyella, Flick Fleck, Ayrton Twigge and nolegs for taking the micky! You may laugh and joke.I can understand Turn to The Yellow Side.... and DumbleDelia Is Magic for being unsure as no one really has any idea who is on here. And and big thank you to harrogate canary, shortfatb and bananaman for the support and encouragment you have given me. That was a real booster and it is nice to think that some Norwich City fans still have faith in me. I hope I can repay that this year.Unfortunately for natalie, I will not be posting private family information for all to see for obvious reasons. I get enough stick as it is.As for TWEETY PIE and 1st Wizard, you should not be on this site!All the best and look forward to seeing you soon.MR Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nolegs 0 Posted June 23, 2004 Sorry the real mark rivers I thought this thread was for general fun and not to be taken too seriously,saying that if you are the real one, be proffesional ,get fit, give up the fags,show some commitment,put out a public statement to the fans and pass a defender instead of cutting inside and passing back to the centre midfield thus putting the responsibility onto other players.Or in other words shape up or ship out.!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FatMan Fat 0 Posted June 23, 2004 Why "Shame" on me...I really am Sparticus. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
whoareyou? 0 Posted June 23, 2004 The last time i saw Mark Rivers was in the bar at Walsall FC with his mate, Clint while Hucks and Crouch were creating mayhem on the pitch!!!! Says it all really !! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TwoSheds 0 Posted June 23, 2004 Well if you think Rivers is bad (which i personally dont think he''s to bad),what about a mention for some slumps from years ago.ie....Paul Haylock,Kevin Bond & his old man,Ross Jack,Robert Rosario,Roger Handsbury,John O''neil,Mick Maguire,Kevin Phillips.Gary Megson as player & manager,Ashley Ward,Efan Ekoku,Ade Akinbiyi,Keith O''neil..Geeeeez the list of useless t***ers we have had over the years is endless and this bunch came into my head within seconds. I could carry on but could be on here all night and probably only get to the mid 90''s teams,so im gonna bog off.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
d-block barclayboy 0 Posted June 23, 2004 well i think that it is the real mark rivers and if so and not a wind up then good on ya mate for coming on the site and telling us about ya. i do actually like watching him play and i think its a bit harsh of everyone to be slating him we should try and encourge him not dis him he is after all a yella. and we can''t say conclusively that he has been lazy cos we dont know the full extent of his injury sure sometimes he doesn''t tracj back but does hucks ? we should conserve are energy''s to cheer the boys on.come on mark show them what a player me and lots of people think you are which is good player Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Herb 0 Posted June 23, 2004 I''ll go with that Twosheds.I know he was only a loan, but I don''t think I''ll ever be able to erase the horrible spectre of Simon Tracey from my memory. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gazzathegreat 0 Posted June 24, 2004 hiya neilsonfirstly the ''village'' in question is in fact a town, and yes, undoubtedly natalie lives next door to markand guess what, a big fat pink pig has just flown past the windowyes, there is a newsagents across the road, a pub called the white horse and also a lot of other cracking pubs there - i used to work in the doctor''s surgery there, trying to help people like natalie!!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites