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Canary Pirate

A MESSAGE FROM DELIA !!!

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Dear Norwich fans, we are pleased to announce that we have appointed (..........) as our new manager. Our reasons for choosing (..........) is because (..............................). We both have similar ambitions for this club and we will all be striving to (..............................).

(..........) has signed a (..........) year contract and we look forward to (..................................). There are funds available for team strengthening and the new manager will have our full backing when it comes to (.....................................).

We hope that by making this appointment you will realise that (..........................................). We look forward to seeing you all at the Bristol City game and I know that with your fantastic support we can all (..................................................).

Love Deals.

All you have to do is fill in the blanks !

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Dear Norwich fans, we are pleased to announce that we have appointed (GLENN HODDLE....) as our new manager. Our reasons for choosing (GLENN..) is because (.HE NEEDED A JOB AND NOBODY ELSE WANTED HIM...). We both have similar ambitions for this club and we will all be striving to (BRING IN EILEEN DREWERY AS HIS ASSISTANT....).

(GLENN....) has signed a (..12...) year contract and we look forward to (.ENDING THAT NEXT YEAR......). There are funds available for team strengthening and the new manager will have our full backing when it comes to (ABUSING OUR DISABLED FANS WHO WERE BAD IN A PREVIOUS LIFE.....).

We hope that by making this appointment you will realise that (.WE HAVE NO PLANS TO EVER GET BACK TO THE PREMIERSHIP......). We look forward to seeing you all at the Bristol City game and I know that with your fantastic support we can all (.LOSE HEAVILY TO ANOTHER BUNCH OF NOBODYS.....).

Love Deals.

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Dear Norwich fans, we are pleased to announce that we have appointed (...Smudger......) as our new manager. Our reasons for choosing (.Smudger.........) is because (.............Smudger knows more about football than us................). We both have similar ambitions for this club and we will all be striving to (..................realise our dream of relagation............).

(......Smudger....) has signed a (...2.......) year contract and we look forward to (..................relagation................). There are funds available for team strengthening and the new manager will have our full backing when it comes to (......forcing Darren Huckerby to retire.......................).

We hope that by making this appointment you will realise that (...............we can achieve relagation...........................). We look forward to seeing you all at the Bristol City game and I know that with your fantastic support we can all (.......................drag the team moral down...........................).

Love Deals.

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Dear Norwich fans, we are pleased to announce that we have appointe(..TONY BLAIR.) as our new manager. Our reasons for choosing (.TONY is because (...BEING A SPIN MEISTER HE CLAIMS TO) knows more about football than us...(WHICH IS NOT DIFFICULT.............). We both have similar ambitions for this club and we will all be striving to (...PRETEND POOR FOOTBALL IS IN FACT GOOD FOR US  WHILST IGNORING THAT WE ARE IN FACT...............realising our dream of relagation............).

(......BLAIR ) has signed a (...38.......) year contract and we look forward to (....WATCHING  HIM SMARM AND SMILE FROM THE DUGOUT.........). There are funds available for team strengthening and the new manager will have our full backing when it comes to (...SEEKING OUT WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION)...forcing Darren Huckerby to retire.....IN SEARCH OF THEM.AND BIN LADEN...............).

We hope that by making this appointment you will realise that with (.....TONY BLAIR..........we can achieve relagation.....WITHOUT ACTUALLY CALLING  IT THAT WHICH SHOULD HELP US PRETEND THINGS CAN ONLY GET BETTER......). We look forward to seeing you all at the Bristol City game and I know that with your fantastic support we can all (..ALSO HIR GEORGE W AS ASSISTANT COACH AND.................drag the team moral down....TO HITHERTO UNKOWN LEVELS....................).

Love Deals.

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Dear Norwich fans, we are pleased to announce that we have appointed (Gordon Ramsay) as our new manager.
Our reasons for choosing (Gordon) is because (Peter the pointer only stuck a few verbals into the current squad,
we feel that its the boards policy to make the lads suffer for their pay, it is the boards policy that in future
we want a bad atmosphere in the dressing room as well as in the stands, besides Gordon can cook).
We both have similar ambitions for this club and we will all be striving to ( improve the kitchens and we are
doing all that is humanly possible to achieve a michelin star this year).

(Gordon) has signed a (5) year contract and we look forward to (the excelent food that Gordon has proposed.).
There are funds available for team strengthening and the new manager will have our full backing when it
comes to (Taking on the best possible staff in the kitchen).

We hope that by making this appointment you will realise that (Norwich city football club, Is committed to the
food that the supporters eat).
We look forward to seeing you all at the Bristol City game and I know that with your fantastic support
we can all (Have a really nice meal, with topic of dinner will be to change the OTBC catchphrase to KOTB).

Keep ona Troshin boys.

Love Deals.

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[quote user="vicar in green and yellow"]

Dear Norwich fans, we are pleased to announce that we have appointe(..TONY BLAIR.) as our new manager. Our reasons for choosing (.TONY is because (...BEING A SPIN MEISTER HE CLAIMS TO) knows more about football than us...(WHICH IS NOT DIFFICULT.............). We both have similar ambitions for this club and we will all be striving to (...PRETEND POOR FOOTBALL IS IN FACT GOOD FOR US  WHILST IGNORING THAT WE ARE IN FACT...............realising our dream of relagation............).

(......BLAIR ) has signed a (...38.......) year contract and we look forward to (....WATCHING  HIM SMARM AND SMILE FROM THE DUGOUT.........). There are funds available for team strengthening and the new manager will have our full backing when it comes to (...SEEKING OUT WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION)...forcing Darren Huckerby to retire.....IN SEARCH OF THEM.AND BIN LADEN...............).

We hope that by making this appointment you will realise that with (.....TONY BLAIR..........we can achieve relagation.....WITHOUT ACTUALLY CALLING  IT THAT WHICH SHOULD HELP US PRETEND THINGS CAN ONLY GET BETTER......). We look forward to seeing you all at the Bristol City game and I know that with your fantastic support we can all (..ALSO HIR GEORGE W AS ASSISTANT COACH AND.................drag the team moral down....TO HITHERTO UNKOWN LEVELS....................).

Love Deals.

[/quote]

Nice one Vicar - by the way, can''t YOU do something!!!!!!!

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Dear Norwich fans, we are pleased to announce that we have appointed (Carl Cort) as our new player/manager. Our reasons for choosing (Carl) is because (He is a great ambassador for asda superstores). We both have similar ambitions for this club and we will all be striving to (Beat tesco''s prices whatever the cost).

(Carl) has signed a (Asda smartprice) contract and we look forward to (His public appearances within the ASDA superstore). There are funds available for team strengthening and the new manager will have our full backing when it comes to (the players and boards shopping lists).

We hope that by making this appointment you will realise that (Carl corts for life not just for christmas). We look forward to seeing you all at the Bristol City game and I know that with your fantastic support we can all (push carl forward to that magic 30 goal haul he has always wanted).

Love Deals.

 

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[quote user="Vern from Sky TV"]

Dear Norwich fans, we are pleased to announce that we have appointed (GLENN HODDLE....) as our new manager. Our reasons for choosing (GLENN..) is because (.HE NEEDED A JOB AND NOBODY ELSE WANTED HIM...). We both have similar ambitions for this club and we will all be striving to (BRING IN EILEEN DREWERY AS HIS ASSISTANT....).

(GLENN....) has signed a (..12...) year contract and we look forward to (.ENDING THAT NEXT YEAR......). There are funds available for team strengthening and the new manager will have our full backing when it comes to (ABUSING OUR DISABLED FANS WHO WERE BAD IN A PREVIOUS LIFE.....).

We hope that by making this appointment you will realise that (.WE HAVE NO PLANS TO EVER GET BACK TO THE PREMIERSHIP......). We look forward to seeing you all at the Bristol City game and I know that with your fantastic support we can all (.LOSE HEAVILY TO ANOTHER BUNCH OF NOBODYS.....).

Love Deals.


[/quote]

Made me laugh [:D]

 

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Dear Norwich fans, we are pleased to announce that we have appointed (.DELIA SMITH...) as our new manager. Our reasons for choosing (.an Ipswitch supporter.) is because ( it''s my ball, and I''ll play with it if I want to). We both have similar ambitions for this club and we will all be striving to ( maximise the catering revenues even if the football thingy doesn''t work out).

(.MWJ, too,.) has signed a (.rolling.) year contract and we look forward to (.exercising the secret, twenty million pound  escape clause that ND missed coz we folded the paper over at the bottom so he wouldn''t see it.). There are funds available for team strengthening and the new manager will have our full backing when it comes to (.ordering several cases of (not so) cheap, red vino for the half-time knees-up and conga.).

We hope that by making this appointment you will realise that (.I know nothing about the game except what that cute Mr. Sheepshed taught me). We look forward to seeing you all at the Bristol City game and I know that with your fantastic support we can all ( vote for ME! and hubbles at the AGM.).

Love Deals.

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Dear Norwich fans, we are pleased to announce that we have appointed (Jim Duffy) as our new manager. Our reasons for choosing (Jimmy) is because (he is a yes man). We both have similar ambitions for this club and we will all be striving to (Finish as high up League 1 as possible Next season).

(Duffer) has signed a (Lifetime) year contract and we look forward to (Coming out with a load of bull sh*t as to why he is on a contract this long, only to go back on our word and deny it 12 months later). There are funds available for team strengthening and the new manager will have our full backing when it comes to (Giving Chris Brown a ''£1000 a miss'' bonus for every chance he baloons).

We hope that by making this appointment you will realise that (we have no money, have no ambition, and really are looking for a way out). We look forward to seeing you all at the Bristol City game and I know that with your fantastic support we can all (Wave the cheques from your season tickets at you and cackle evilly as we roll in the money we have swindled from you fans over the past decade).

Love Deals.

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Dear

Norwich fans, we are pleased to announce that we have appointed

( David Icke ) as our new manager. Our reasons for choosing (A mad bugger in a purple tracksuit)

is because (he used to play in goal for Coventry once, and is quite good at public speaking, even if he is a totally and utterly deluded stone-bonker and self-proclaimed god-head ). We both have similar

ambitions for this club and we will all be striving to

( Elliminate all 8 foot tall reptiles with human heads from positions in world government ).

( The former snooker commentator turned nut-job ) has signed a (piece of toilet paper with a crayon while laughing manically) and we look

forward to ( sending him back to his nice room with the rubber wall-paper after the obligatory 15 hours without a goal ). There are funds

available for ( a nice cake and a cup of tea ) and the new manager will have our full

backing when it comes to ( making a complete fool of himself and the club on regional, and national television, in print media, and the internet ).

We hope that by making this appointment you will realise that

( we have finally, totally, and utterly lost the plot.  It''s a genuine cry for help.  Please, somebody, anybody, buy us out). We look forward to seeing

you all at the Bristol City game and I know that with your fantastic

support we can all ( Elliminate all 8 foot tall reptiles with human heads from positions in world government ).

Love Deals.

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[quote user="Canary Pirate"]

Dear Norwich fans, we are pleased to announce that we have appointed Jim Duffy as our new manager. Our reasons for choosing him is because he''s scottish. We both have similar ambitions for this club and we will all be striving to score another goal this season.

Duffy has signed a 3 Year Rolling  contract and we look forward to celebrating a goal before next season. There are funds available for team strengthening and the new manager will have our full backing when it comes to signing past it, overweight strikers.

We hope that by making this appointment you will realise that we have prudence with ambition. We look forward to seeing you all at the Bristol City game and I know that with your fantastic support we can all cheer when Simon Lappin misplaces a pass!

Love Deals.

[/quote]

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[quote user="Canary Pirate"]

Dear Norwich fans, we are pleased to announce that we have appointed (...Coco the clown.......) as our new manager. Our reasons for choosing (..Coco the clown........) is because (.........he will make us all laugh and take the heat off the board.....................). We both have similar ambitions for this club and we will all be striving to (.bring in more clowns............................).

(.....Coco.....) has signed a (..50...( with a get out clause to the big top).....) year contract and we look forward to (....opening the big top show.............................). There are funds available for team strengthening and the new manager will have our full backing when it comes to (...buying some clown shoes..................................).

We hope that by making this appointment you will realise that (..we are a total joke........................................). We look forward to seeing you all at the Bristol City game and I know that with your fantastic support we can all (......have a good laugh............................................).

Love Deals.

All you have to do is fill in the blanks !

[/quote]

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Dear Norwich fans

We are pleased to announce that we have appointed (Terry Butcher) as our new manager.  Our reason for choosing him is because (he  says he''s always liked Norwich, and we believe him).  We both have similar ambitions for this club and we will all be striving to (take the p*ss out of the paying public).

(Butcher) has signed (a contract which allows him to wear an Ipswich shirt on matchdays) and we look forward to (our next televised game on 4th November - well I do anyway, as long as the cameras are on meeee).  There are funds available for team strengthening and the new manager will have our full backing when it comes to (selling Chris Martin to Ipswich for £5.50).  We look forward to seeing you all at the Bristol City game and I know that with your fantastic support (we will take our rightful place as the third team in East Anglia).

Love Deals

 

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Dear Norwich fans, we are pleased to announce that we have appointed (...MR BLOBBY...) as our new manager. Our reasons for choosing (...BLOBS...) is because (...HES MADE OF THE SAME MATERIAL MY PADDED CELLS MADE OF...). We both have similar ambitions for this club and we will all be striving to (...UNDO MY STRAIGHT JACKET SO I CAN PUT ON A TUTU, DANCE ON HOT COALS AND CALL EVERYONE DAVE...).

(...BLOBS...) has signed a (...99...) year contract and we look forward to (...STUFFING GERBILS UP OUR BOTTOMS WHILST SINGING BREAD OF HEAVEN...). There are funds available for team strengthening and the new manager will have our full backing when it comes to (...EATING CHEESE AND DOING ARMPIT FARTS...).

We hope that by making this appointment you will realise that (...SUPPORTING IPSWICH HAS SUDDENLY BECOME MORE APPEALING...). We look forward to seeing you all at the Bristol City game and I know that with your fantastic support we can all (...GO HANG OURSELVES FROM A TREE...).

Love Dave

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Dear Norwich fans, we are pleased to announce that we have appointed (A Manager from the lower leagues, who has done well and wants to come to Norwich [I shall call him Bob]) as our new manager. Our reasons for choosing (Bob) is because (he wants us to do well in a higher league in order to get a premiership job). We both have similar ambitions for this club and we will all be striving to (Do as well as possible so he can get a better job at a bigger club and we get compensation for him).

(Bob) has signed a (1.5) year contract and we look forward to (seeing his confidence and ability ripped to peices by the fans who wouldn''t be happy if we signed Wenger or Ferguson). There are funds available for team strengthening and the new manager will have our full backing when it comes to (getting in players that will have a sell on value and low risk of depreciation).

We hope that by making this appointment you will realise that (it isn''t the worst choice possible). We look forward to seeing you all at the Bristol City game and I know that with your fantastic support we can all (cheer on the team. Ooops, no chance of either of those happening, I crack myself up sometimes I really do.)

Love Deals.

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In amongst all the doom and gloom of the message boards over recent weeks its good to see that many of you have retained a sense of humour !

I''ve had a bloody good laugh at all of them - I think Mister Blobby gets my vote so far ! [;)]

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Dear Norwich fans, we are pleased to announce that we have appointed (Neil Adams) as our new manager. Our reasons for choosing (Neil) is because (he ''totally agrees'' with us). We both have similar ambitions for this club and we will all be striving to (totally agree).

(Neil) has signed an (Agreement document on a rolling 1) year contract and we look forward to (pushing him off the fence on occasions). There are funds available for team strengthening and the new manager will have our full backing when it comes to (the final push .. off the fence that is).

We hope that by making this appointment you will realise that (Chris Goreham will now have to cuddle up next to me in the directors box). We look forward to seeing you all at the Bristol City game and I know that with your fantastic support we can all (be warm together).

Broken Heart [U] Love Deals Dumps .. swalk Broken Heart [U]

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