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Dereham Wanderers U16S     Played 1 Won 1 Lost 0 Draw 0     100% win rate


I have managed for about a week, for Dereham under 16s. Record is played 1 won 1.  I believe i can take this club to the premiership, and please remeber that you have employed people with little experience or a clue for that matter over the last few years.  I dont mind about the transfer budget as i know you tend to squander it all anyway (hows the hotel?)  I will play players in the right positions, i will mention my 5 point plan below shortly.  Why employ me, well firstly im not going to go anywhere near scotland for a start, ill dig deep in the bargain bins, i want to play good solid passing football, with a tiny bit of long ball, and none of this hoof it for the 100th time to cureton in the air.  I could go on, but apart from my 5 point plan and possible team lineup i would play when everyones fit i guess to be a norwich manager you dont really need to put too much, as long as you enjoy one of delias finest pies and eat at least twice a week in your resturant.


                                            Semmy            Shack                  Murray                  Drury                                       Solid backline with brellier cover in defence.


                                                               Croft            Russell        Smith

                                                                      Cureton             Dave S

My 5 point Plan

  • Get us promoted
  • Spend what little money i have on a load of old bollocks
  • Get in a new coach  (football manager)
  • Stay in the hotel and afterwards a slap up meal
  • Chop off Neil Doncasters Head and sh*t in the hole!

Thank you

Dean Harris (esq)


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It shows that Steve Gibson is an outstanding chairman and a good communicator.  He really has put his hand in his pocket and frankly deserves more success than his club has achieved.  Perhaps our board should consider following his example so that the ambition is at least equal to the prudence.

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on football manaer 2007  i started as norwich, i got rid of dead wood such as thorne, colin n bought some good youth to the side in vine, morgan, edwards of luton, hoskins of rotherham and halford off colchester (pre transfer patch these are)

i won the league in my first season going 23games undeafted

in premier the board gave me a dire 1.25m to stay up

i spent wisely and got jay jay ockacha on free, carlos vela loan, jermie allidereire loan, i also scopped heinkenn free and mclean free

at xmas i was top of the prem ;-)

my form did drop n i finished 9th place in the end one of intertoto cup (grrrrr) but this was still n achievment

come the next year the boards gave me 6.5m i kept the majority hoping my side would do good again (bit like wigan last year, reading this year) i was bottom at xmas by 11pts (off 17th spot) i got rid of hoskins, maclean, vine etc... who did theyre job helping me, i signed alliedere on permenant contract, aurelio of liverpool, zakora of spurs and etherington of whu i then finished 15th after climbing up the table with vital wins


i think i have proved myself good enough, get the team up with less than 1m and keeping them in prem with less than 2.5m even reaching 9th

in the end i left to take on england job, but got board of the game

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NCFC Premiership Champions on my FM 07 Game, and it only took me to 2011!

Joe Lewis England Keeper for me, Jon Obi Mikel, Sherman Cardenas (wonder kid), Greg Halford (england striker) to name just a few of my all stars!

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You can pick one up in restaurant. Only on Friday''s and Saturday''s though.

I''d hurry up if I were you.

DWJ and MWJ are jumpy about share value in times of uncertainty and looking for a quick appointment.



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I sent this by post to Neil this morning. I hope I get a reply.........


10th October 2007


Dear Mr Doncaster


I would like to put my name forward to become the next manager of Norwich City Football Club.

“Granted” (excuse the pun) I have no qualifications to manage a drinking session in a brewery let alone a football club but what I can offer you is a stonewall guarantee that I will be on time every day and will do my best never to be off ill.

I will use my contacts within the game to attract new players (my best mate is manager of Dereham Wanderers Under 9 Girls) and with my experience in sales I will be able to negotiate deals where as we wont have to pay any transfer, agents or signing on fees above £15.

I am sure I am sounding more appealing to you by the second and lets face it, If I can get the boys fired up enough to enter the oppositions six yard box in my first game in charge it will be a step in the right direction.

As for “losing the dressing room”, that wont happen as I know exactly where it is. Darren Huckerby will be sent off to weed the grounds at Colney until he learns to play nicely with the rest of the boys. He is not the be all and end all.

Please feel free to discuss my application with Delia, she will remember me as Michael always used to nick my ciggies at Colney until we were banned from there.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I am now off to choose the wallpaper for my office.


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