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First Wizard

WARNING: The Double Helix Hex Has Started!.

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Now before you start thinking ''That the poor old Wiz has finally gone stark raving bonkers'', or from the kiddie posters on here, ''He''s been reading too much Harry Potter'', please hear me out.

Some time ago I warned you against predicting City''s future games, this was ignored, and even a comment from the moderators slightly ridiculed it. Well, yesterday you saw the result of your folly with the defeat at Cardiff, this I fear is only the start!.

The double helix HEX has started (do''nt even ask), its like a hex, but worse!. This was in evidence at the I*****h game, but we got away with it, and its the fault of all you predicters.

In general, a hex is born when the collective thoughts of people desire something so badly, that they ''talk up'' events before they happen, in an arrogant attempt to challenge the fates, they predict the future, sounds familiar to you?.

First a little about the 1st Wizard, although it really should be the 1st Warlock, I''ve managed to trace my family tree back to medievil Germany, where beliefs in hex''s are still strong to this day, so I''ve always had a keen interest in that kind of thing, you could say its in the blood!. And I tell you the double helix hex does exist and is almost impossible to remove, thanks to you lot, although of course I will try.

With the above in mind, and as its too late now to do any further damage, here are my predictions:

City 0 Gillingham 1
City fail to gain promotion after losing in the play offs.

Unless of course I manage to unravel the helix the fates are sealed, sorry, but do''nt blame me!.

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Wiz,

First of all great post! Love it. Secondly, and most importantly, don''t panic my friend! Surely if we go to far the other way and start predicting defeats confidence will be knocked ;-) When I was a kid and walked down to the ground with my dad I always predicted a defeat every time. My reasoning behind this was because i thought if I predicted the worst result anything else would be a bonus! I found however, that even when we did lose I was just as unhappy and so predicting a defeat did no good! Sorry to go against you but I will keep predicting wins (when I think we''ll get them!) Keep the faith, as Leicester sang yesterday. We''ll make it Wiz. These are good times. Confidence is high, so is spirit, we have the best squad we''ve had for almost a decade, we''ve the best manager we''ve had for a fair few years and we''ve the best supporters in the entire league!

I don''t want to sound arragant, I just have confidence in our abilities. Don''t panic chap!

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DD: as you are one of my favouritre posters I''ll be very gentle, I was in fact being deadly serious. I know people think this fantasy/black-arts stuff is all a bit of a wind up on my part, but I assure you its not.

I have done some serious studies on this subject, and I know I worry a lot about this wonderful club of ours, even jest with friends like you on here at times, but I really do believe in all this.

I''m not an escaped loony, or have horns coming out of my head etc, but these things do exist I''m afraid. And these chimes, for that is their given name, have been envoked by the loyal city fans who unknowingly ''dipped'' their feet into murky waters that they should have left alone.

Wolves did it, Man City did it, Portsmouth did''nt. I''ll finish with a quote by Siris Hoth, ''Let him who hath reason control the chimes'' Book 9, chapter 2, paragraph 6.

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1st Wizard - I thought your name was a reflection of your ego, but after reading the above it seems you really do think your''re a wizard. Now you''re scaring me - I''ll get me coat.

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Firstly thank you 1st Wiz, your one of my favourite posters too! I do believe you that these things exist. I must admit I''m not an expert on the subject and as you have done work on the subject I will not question your knowledge. I honestly don''t mean to p**s you off but I don''t think the confidence we have in the prediction league is a disasterous thing. After all it is only the first defeat since it got going. I respect your knowledge and views and don''t think your any escaped loony! I''m just saying don''t panic!

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fair play wizard. Everybody is getting way to complacent. Just when weve gone on a long run of wins we come up against those smaller sides we all know and love. Everybody just thinks another win in the bag and then act gobsmacked when we lose. We go for these 7-8 game periods without losing then we, well, lose. Because the fans and probably the players are getting a little complacent. I agree with the whole double hexing stuff too, I always think if i have a positive attitude of backing the boys rather than expecting a win we would continue our run of form instead of being brought back to earth with a bump every once in a while.

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Wizard, I don''t think there''s anything odd in your blood except that it appears not be reaching your brain at the appropriate speed. Is it possible that you were sent to Ipswich on the last train from Norwich instead of a direct route to Lowestoft?
No, my friend, a Norwich loss has got nothing to with predictions one way or the other. It has to with the fact that too many teams in this division are too close competitively for any one team to a) run away with anything and b) be anywhere close to ready to enter the Premier division. Of course, this kind of comment will bring out all those who will say we are top of the division, look at our defensive record, no team is going to roll over etc, etc, etc. It also is a fact that too many times this season Norwich appear not to be ready for a match and we are then treated to post-match commentary that Nigel had a word with the troops at half-time. If any one team in this division had the right stuff to enter the Premier division they would have run away with Division One this season.
I think your prediction against Gillingham will be wrong but, even if it is, you can claim that you temporarily solved the double helix hex.
If i''m to read the writings of others I''m much more inclined to an extract from Sir Walter Scott:
Then strip, lads, and to it, though sharp be the weather,
And if, by mischance, you should happen to fall,
There are worse things in life than a tumble on heather,
And life is itself but a game at football.

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Wizard,
I''m going to have to agree with Yankee on this one,not the bit about your blood not reaching your brain at the appropriate speed but about the loss not having anything to do with the predictions.The reason they lost yesterday was simple they didnt turn up for the first half,couple of bad defensive errors and they missed about 3 chances to score in the second half so just weren''t good enough on the day.Simple as that Wizard but your post made me smile and I needed that today!
P.S.I quite like posts by that nice man DD too!

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A slightly unsettling post 1st Wizard.

At Cardiff why didn''t Green just sidestep to catch the ball, or palm it away for the first goal?
Just why did Edworthy make that very uncharacteristic slip-up for the second? I doesn''t make sense.

Hmm. Yes. Why indeed? Now I see there was more to these events than meet the eye. But it''s all our own doing you say? After all,
"The devil''s agents may be of flesh and blood, may they not?" (Conan Doyle).

Have we become our own downfall?
"Oftentimes to win us to our harm, the instruments of darkness tell us truths; win us with honest trifles, to betray''s in deepest consequence." (Shakespeare).

Quite frankly this voodoo, wicca, paganism and witchcraft stuff scares the bejesus out of me. Nearly as much as spending another season in Division One with Ipswich.

Get unravelling that helix 1st Wizard, for the sake of us all, I beg you. But is it too late?
"A resolution to avoid an evil is seldom framed till the evil is so far advanced as to make avoidance impossible." (Hardy).

It''s all too much.
"What can we know? What are we all? Poor silly half-brained things peering out at the infinite, with the aspirations of angels and the instincts of beasts." (Conan Doyle)

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

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Sorry Wiz chap but mumbo jumbo is mumbo jumbo however it is dressed up. For every City fan talking up events there was a Cardiff fan doing the same - so why no hex for them ?

If there is such a thing as fate then how can speculating about it change something that is already pre-ordained ?

What we need to do is put yesterday''s defeat into perspective. As mentioned above we are still 9 points ahead of the 3rd place. Four of the five clubs below us play each other over the next two games. Ideally two draws would suit but either way points will have to be lost.

There are more games coming up like this. For us six wins or five wins and a couple of draws will see us up.

So let''s have all the speculation we can. Let''s enjoy the next few months cos that''s what''s being a fan is about.

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YC, firstly I glad you''re back and in fine form as usual. I really have missed you. I''m also pleased that you live in a comfi, safe and blinkered little world. If you knew or had seen what I have, your views might just change, I promise you.

To suggest that I the wizard, would even say I had removed the Hex, when in fact I had''nt, would only achieve a curse of the double helix Hex, right back on my self!. Shame on you for even suggesting it my friend.

No, my blood has not been cut off to my head, I''m not on medication, or should be either, I do''nt drink, I do''nt like the taste, in fact I''m as sane as you YC??.

And remember this little quote: There are more things in Heaven and Earth.........

Just remember this, I love this club, Delia, NW and the team, the moderators and all the lovely posters on here, and yes even you YC, still as I said, I''m glad you''re back.

And before anyone ask NO, I can''nt Hex, curse, or put any spells on people, this would simply violate the wizards 7th rule. I cannot even wish harm on the Binners, mind you they seem to be doing alright by themselves anyway, bless their little cotton socks!.

City Angel: I''m so pleased you are back safe and well from Cardiff, I was somewhat concerned about you and Gazza''s safty all Saturday night. I hope you yelled alot but have kept something back for Tuesday night.

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All utter tosh. I''m pessimistic and supersticious about every aspect of a City performance but I''m confident that the weather and the current trend of only playing one half were the reasons we lost 2-1 to a team who beat Sunderland 4-0 recently, and that normal service will be resumed on Tuesday. I do wish we could play for two halves in a game soon, however.

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If you think it will work 1st Wiz - Thinks "Norwich 0 Gills 4 Norwich 0 Gills 4
Norwich 0 Gills 4 Norwich 0 Gills 4..." Whoops I''ve just thought Hucks and MacKenzie
both get hat-tricks on Tuesday. Norwich 6 Gills 0.

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Ive worked it out its a double Hux youre preminating,and youve got your bowels,sorry vowels
in a tangle .Worthy will sign another player of similar stature soon on loan and you will be releived

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My god, a lot of this is way too deep for me on a Monday morning.

I agree with Wizard, just because whenever I have though we have done it, good ole NCFC surprise us and put us in the wringer.

Relegation season: 7th in the league and we don''t win in our last 13 or so matches. Thinking of safety and experiencing relegation

Cardiff 02: First minute score from super Robbo. Thinking of Liverpool at Carrow Road again but experience Crewe.

FA Cup Semi final 92: Playting Sunderland who are struggling badly. Thinking of walking up Wmbley way and l;ooking out on a sea of yellow and green banners in the season showpiece. Experience a shocking defeat and a long trip home after a game we should have won.

Even Nov 1995: Martin Oneill in cahrge and we think our banishment into the wilderness will be short. He goes and we go into a 7 year decline.

Too many disappointments to take anything for granted. I have given my predictions to Peter as I do think its a bit of harmless fun, but we do still have to win another 6 games and if the team gets remotely complacent we have 8 or so other seriously committed teams who would just loev to nip in ahead of us.

But a thought for 1st Wizard: what do you make of collective willpower summoning Huckerby here against all odds? It worked in December and it might pull us to promotion?

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Dear Tumbleweed: You may have hit on something here my friend, collective thought, I believe caused the Hex, so I suppose logic dictates collective thought could remove the Hex. On Tuesday night if things are going bad for City, everyone should concentrate and say, aloud if you like, ''Chime''s be gone'' ''Chime''s be gone'' 6 times whilst placing left hand on your head.. If you''re not at game, it does''nt matter, still do it, even you YC, who knows, it might just work.

Mind you if City win 6 nil, I''m going to look a right old twit!.

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1st Wizard - i''m gonna be lookin round for people doing that mid-way thru the first half when, as usual, we''re playing poorly.

If we do go up, and it is far from certain that we will - taking into account how we''ve played all season and ups and downs of form, will you review your beliefs in this stuff?

The best thing we can do as fans is cheer our boys on at the game. Beyond that much of it is out of our hands.

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I do''nt think I could ever change my beliefs Mister Sparkle, and I have now found out that the sprinklening of salt by everyone, using the free hand, just a pinch mind, whilst saying the counter spell and hand movements adds more punch so to speak.

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I''m going tomorrow night, so lets see collective thought at work and your magic chant might just work- even if only to confuse the poor visisting players!! Mind you I do hop eit isn''t necessary. If we can''t beat Gillingham at home then...............well you know the rest.

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1st Wizard - " .................. and I have now found out that the sprinklening of salt by everyone, using the free hand, just a pinch mind, whilst saying the counter spell and hand movements adds more punch so to speak "

Think you should get a grip wizard old chap, though on second thoughts...... !

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Those men in white coats would be Watson & Crick who first described the structure of DNA as a right handed double helix. Or maybe it was Alan Turing, founder of computer science, who counted in Hexadecimal.

The story goes that they had a meeting in 1954 at Cambridge University and got talking about football in 50 years time, and Norwich cropped up. I can only assume that when 1st Wizard was casting his runes and gazing through the mysts of time in his crystal ball, he misread the signs.

So the double Helix boys and Mr Hex were just predicting good times for Norwich City and so theres no need to panic 1st Wiz, it will all be alright come May.

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I''m with 1st Wiz on this one in that I''m sure if I predict a win we''ll lose.

However such is the feeling of excitement & anticipation before a game I usually end up going for a positive prediction anyway relying on my superstitions to counter any negative "hex" effects.

Over the last 3 seasons I always have to buy my programme from the same lady using 2 pound coins & a fifty pence. In the main this has served us well with our excellent home form.
Unfortunately I tried to overcome the superstition at the Brighton cup game & look what happened (not that I control the weater but superstitions aren''t rational anyway). Thinking it was an one off I broke with tradition & we lost 2-0 to Top of the league at Portman Road, Thankyou very much for the 6 points Ips**t.

Does anyone know if there''s a curse on the Barclay based on the fact we very rarely score in that end?

Also remember the Cardiff curse & that up until some interfering old witch removed it the home dressing room there was the key to victory (unless you''re Wales of course).

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I have a piece of seaweed hanging outside my backdoor that predicts the weather for me.

If it''s wet it''s raining and if it''s dry it''s not raining

If it flaps about a bit it''s windy

and if I can''t see it all all

.......... it means I''m p*ssed and I''ve come home to the wrong house

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lol @ maddan - top one

hey i predicted that we would be playing cr*p in the first half - oh hang on a minute, isn''t that just like every other game we''ve played in the last few years?

we must have all done the magic dance?

sorry to take the mick Wiz but you did lay yourself open to it.

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I must write this very quickly, as I understand I''m due a visit this afternoon from some men wearing white coats!. This was just the responce I had hoped and expected after our stunning victory last night.

So who removed the Hex?, I would love to claim that I did, but that would be untrue and very dishonest of me. It was in fact defeated by all the thousends of city fans at the game, listening on radio, and indeed anywhere in the world, who all desired this victory, collective thoughts energy see.

Load of old tosh, I hear you cry, especially Mad Dan, why does''nt every team solve their defeats this way? would be a typical reply from the septic''s out there, and yes, I have spelt that correctly!. The answear is very simple:

Who else would sing straight away when the opposiition scores at their ground?. Who else takes 8000 supporters to away league games?. Who else are the nicest, good looking, wise and just all round nice guys?, and who else channel their collective thoughts into raw physic energy, why its us!.

So I suppose I did have a hand in halting the Hex after all, now for all you doubter''s out there, PROVE I''m wrong!. The answear lives in solving the wizards first rule, or for those of you who still do''nt understand, Read: Terry Goodkinds : ''Sword Of Truth'' 1st Novel, the answear in there may shock and surprise you, especially Mad Dan and dear old YC.

The book is avalible in all good UK book shops, and I strongly recomend that you read it.

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Mistersparkle: my dear friend, as my original thread has now gone to two pages it proves the wizards 1st rule works!. Check it out, sorry. but you''re not going to like it, but I assure you, it was only meant in friendly jest!.

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Oops!, sorry I meant to include this in my last post, I could''nt resist a wry smile when I noticed you micky taker''s out there did''nt post till AFTER last night''s game, why?. Where you hedgeing your bets just in case you incured the wrath of some strange demonic being?!. I do''nt mind as I''m sure it was meant in the most friendly way.

But remember, the wizard has many strange powers, including a weid sense of humour, I trust you have the same kind of humour when the rule is revealed.

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