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The 1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1 formation.

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This is derived from the chaos theory

It enables all your outfield players to run around like headless chickens without even being able to raise a cluck - cluck, cluck, cluck.

The goalkeeper stays  in a fixed position enabling him to flap on demand. And by dint of still having his head he is able to cluck and relay instructions by morse code via a woodpecker atop each croosbar  - this being the preferred communication mode of the players since it is easier to understand than either celtic flavoured verbals or even semaphore from the dug-out.

As I understand it, the chaos theory is the theory of the unpredictable behaviour that can arise in systems obeying deterministic laws as a result of (a) their sensitivity to variations in the initial conditions or (b) to an excessive number of variables.

I hope that I have accurately summarised the rather smudged copy of the leaked tactics document that a mole disguised as a patriotic canary smuggled out from the highly guarded spin office at the ground formerly known as Fortress Carrow Road.


Interestingly, the mole also got hold of a rather smudged copy of the draft menu for Delia''s Restaurant & Bar for March. Major highlights of the table d''hote include include Norfolk turkeys a la Doncaster with Chairman''s stuffing and grilled slices of freshly speared haggis a la Peter, followed by mothers apple pie, custard and cream - all washed down with Michaels vintage plonk. Strangely enough the menu designer whose rather smudged initials appeared to be RC had also started listing some key ingredients for the August menu including  Dublin Bay mussels, Stringer''s tender yellow chicks, Championship pepper and flagons of coca cola (to put on ice for May 2007).

Ah well. Time to start a witch-hunt for that mole.

One love.




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