Cluck 0 Posted December 12, 2006 This year we will be having a special Christmas Nativity play...featuring players and staff of Norwich City Football Club....supported by members of this forum. Auditions have taken place and the following have been selected to take part......MARY. Delia Smith.( On the grounds of her Immaculate Deception).......JOSEPH. Michael Wynn Jones.( On the grounds that his part is largely irrelevant).....SPIN DOCTOR. Neil Doncaster. (On the grounds that he can make thousands of people believe in miracles).BABY JESUS. Youssef Safri ( On the grounds that he spends so much time asleep in the hay).GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST. Nigel Worthington (Accompanied by The Loyal Band of KTFs)SMELLY INN KEEPER. Peter Grant. (On the grounds that he has a shed full of donkeys to look after). 1st. WISE MAN. Wizard.2nd. WISE MAN. Mello.3rd. WISE MAN. Cluck. (On the grounds that I am so good looking and ''realistic'').WISE WOMAN IN BALACLAVA. Mystic Megson (On the grounds of sex equality)SEXY BARMAID. Marty''s Partner (On the grounds that I want one)DONKEY No.1. Doug Livermore. (On the grounds that he carries most of the bags).DONKEYS Nos.2 (through to infinity). The squad.BOAR No.1. Yankee Canary.BOAR No.2. Evil Monkey.ANGEL. City Angel (On the grounds that she is so nice to us all)CAMEL KEEPER. Yellow Fever (On the grounds that he gave everyone the hump).SHEEP No.1. . Herb.SHEEP No.2. Princess Juanita of Somewhereorother..SHEEP No.3. Cambridge Canary.OXEN IN COWSHED. Nutty Nigel...Marty...Alex..FatBarman...nbnbfc...smudger...jas...john B...shyster...etcHEADLESS CHICKEN. Chicken.Advance tickets are available from the box office but are restricted to season ticket holders in order to cause maximum panic and raise yet more money for kitchen equipment.....(24000 mugs already in store)....... THIS PRODUCTION HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO YOU BY POSITIVE POSTERS LIMITED Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Huddy 0 Posted December 12, 2006 1500 Posts and i don''t even get a part! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mbncfc 1 Posted December 12, 2006 [:D] Top work! If only I had the time to post such creative things too...Much fun indeed. Good job I''m not easily offended by the mispelling of my user name though...[:@][;)] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cluck 0 Posted December 12, 2006 One of the joys of being self employed mbncfk.......[:)]Apologies Matt...but auditions start for the Christmas Pantomime shortly. I have you and Hardhouse down for Ugly Sisters already......[;)] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AJ 1,358 Posted December 12, 2006 [quote user="Matt Hudson"]1500 Posts and i don''t even get a part![/quote]a mighty 4,000 posts and i dont get a single mention [:O] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
YankeeCanary 0 Posted December 12, 2006 Cluck, I agree that you and Wizard are fully qualified in being cast as "Wise Men" but only to the extent that you are carriers of incense ( and I don''t mean the sweet smelling stuff ). Mello is also a Wise Man but he is much better at using humour as his carrier. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Herb 0 Posted December 12, 2006 [quote user="Cluck in Boots"]SHEEP No.1. . Herb.[/quote]Oh cheers. [:|]Not like I needed another reason to avoid Suffolk, but I''ll add it to the list. [;)] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fat Barman 0 Posted December 12, 2006 [quote user="AJ"][quote user="Matt Hudson"]1500 Posts and i don''t even get a part![/quote]a mighty 4,000 posts and i dont get a single mention [:O][/quote]I think you''ll find you were listed under ''etc.'' [:P] [;)]Do I get to discipline the Sexy Barmaid? Eh? Eh? [:P] (panting barman is hosed down by long-suffering Marty and given a guinea pig to stroke...) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cluck 0 Posted December 12, 2006 [quote user="AJ"][quote user="Matt Hudson"]1500 Posts and i don''t even get a part![/quote]a mighty 4,000 posts and i dont get a single mention [:O][/quote]Don''t be so theatrical AJ!.......(get it?....theatrical?)....................[:)] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cluck 0 Posted December 12, 2006 [quote user="YankeeCanary"] Cluck, I agree that you and Wizard are fully qualified in being cast as "Wise Men" but only to the extent that you are carriers of incense ( and I don''t mean the sweet smelling stuff ). Mello is also a Wise Man but he is much better at using humour as his carrier.[/quote]You know how to hurt someone don''t you Yankee?........so best you start trying a bit harder then eh?........[:)]Good on ya Herb.....I knew you would take it ok.........[Y]......and sorry FatBarman....only Wise Men are allowed to fondle.....being Wise about such matters you understand.........[;)] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
7rew 0 Posted December 12, 2006 I pick up just the four points1) you admit to being significantly less wise than 1st wizard, while that is true its nice that you know it too.2) City Angel should be gravely insulted - the main angel in the nativity is the Arcangel Gabrial, who is a guy.3) It is also kind of appropriate to cast yourself, and the others, against type as the wise men. They were probably following a comet. This is appropriate since comets were generally considered harbingers of impending doom. see haley''s comet in 1066.4) "MARY. Delia Smith.( On the grounds of her Immaculate Deception)......." The Immaculate Conception of Mary (by holy annie, god''s granny) is only part of the Roman Catholic version of the nativity and is not included in protestantism - once again amazingly precient due to the disputed nature of this claim. (before you argue over point 4 cluck, it is disputed as me and you are on opposited over it.) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Master J-Do Pur 0 Posted December 12, 2006 If 1500 posts doesnt get you in then i''m f***** Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shyster 0 Posted December 12, 2006 That is TOO good.And for me to get a mention is even better. [:D] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ZLF 334 Posted December 12, 2006 [quote user="Master J-Do Pur"]If 1500 posts doesnt get you in then i''m f*****[/quote] Thats seems preferable to me MJDP [;)] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Marty 0 Posted December 12, 2006 [quote user="Fat Barman"][quote user="AJ"][quote user="Matt Hudson"]1500 Posts and i don''t even get a part![/quote]a mighty 4,000 posts and i dont get a single mention [:O][/quote]I think you''ll find you were listed under ''etc.'' [:P] [;)]Do I get to discipline the Sexy Barmaid? Eh? Eh? [:P] (panting barman is hosed down by long-suffering Marty and given a guinea pig to stroke...)[/quote]not sure what type of nativity play that is but sound like one you''d see on late night tv! OK, she can be the barmaid but it''s only the beer she going to be pulling I hope! oh, and if she is the barmaid i''d recomend a change of skirt (as in avatar) or you''ll be requesting crisps from the lowest shelf possible! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cluck 0 Posted December 13, 2006 [quote user="7rew"]I pick up just the four points1) you admit to being significantly less wise than 1st wizard, while that is true its nice that you know it too.2) City Angel should be gravely insulted - the main angel in the nativity is the Arcangel Gabrial, who is a guy.3) It is also kind of appropriate to cast yourself, and the others, against type as the wise men. They were probably following a comet. This is appropriate since comets were generally considered harbingers of impending doom. see haley''s comet in 1066.4) "MARY. Delia Smith.( On the grounds of her Immaculate Deception)......." The Immaculate Conception of Mary (by holy annie, god''s granny) is only part of the Roman Catholic version of the nativity and is not included in protestantism - once again amazingly precient due to the disputed nature of this claim. (before you argue over point 4 cluck, it is disputed as me and you are on opposited over it.)[/quote]Blimey!.......that''s me told I think...........but it is only pretend you know 7rew.......[:)]......(apart from Yankee being a boar that is.........[;)].......but I''m sure he loves me really.....don''t you, you little Yankee Doodle you?)...... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Herb 0 Posted December 13, 2006 [quote user="Marty"]oh, and if she is the barmaid i''d recomend a change of skirt (as in avatar) or you''ll be requesting crisps from the lowest shelf possible![/quote]Thats a skirt?I assumed it was some sort of pleated belt [:)]Fair play to you missus Marty, though I''m pretty sure you don''t deserve her... [;)] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gingerpele 0 Posted December 13, 2006 the headless chicken should be andy huges because he runs around like one Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hayden 0 Posted December 13, 2006 didn''t want to be in it anyway (sniff)..........and I was a great shephered back in ''82.......I totally owned the stage apparently, so good in fact I landed the role of jesus the following year in ''Return of the Nativity, the Wise man Strikes back'' Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Karl Pilkington 0 Posted December 13, 2006 It seems an accurate description of the Evil Monkey boy. (Only joking) I hope all is well in Manchestershire. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Syteanric 1 Posted December 13, 2006 [quote user="Matt Hudson"]1500 Posts and i don''t even get a part![/quote]bloke who gets killed at the start ;)jas :) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
First Wizard 0 Posted December 13, 2006 Bloody Hilarious!, oh great Cluck one. Your casting of me as a wise man, could be questioned by many on here though, wizzen yes, wise?...........................On now to the sex of Gabriel, has anyone seen the superb movie ''Constantine''?, well, Gabriel in that was defo all female (my type too!) so I''ll hold that vision (and believe me it was!) as my feeling that she/he looks like that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
canary cherub 1 Posted December 13, 2006 [quote user="7rew"]I pick up just the four points1) you admit to being significantly less wise than 1st wizard, while that is true its nice that you know it too.2) City Angel should be gravely insulted - the main angel in the nativity is the Arcangel Gabrial, who is a guy.3) It is also kind of appropriate to cast yourself, and the others, against type as the wise men. They were probably following a comet. This is appropriate since comets were generally considered harbingers of impending doom. see haley''s comet in 1066.4) "MARY. Delia Smith.( On the grounds of her Immaculate Deception)......." The Immaculate Conception of Mary (by holy annie, god''s granny) is only part of the Roman Catholic version of the nativity and is not included in protestantism - once again amazingly precient due to the disputed nature of this claim. (before you argue over point 4 cluck, it is disputed as me and you are on opposited over it.)[/quote] Cluck you have hidden talents . . . wonderful stuff. "Wise Woman in Balaclava" (a Yellow and Green one I assume). . . makes a change from Santa hats, if I start knitting now it''ll be ready for Boxing Day . . .I notice that the Vicar is conspicuous by his absence lol7rew, for your information Gabriel is not a bloke, angels are neither male nor female (bet that makes City Angel feel a whole lot better . . .)Ah, the Immaculate Conception. Don''t get me started. I''m a Catholic and I have to say it bothers me for a number of reasons. It''s entirely unbiblical, and at the very least it is superfluous. At its worst it fuels an unhealthy attitude to both women and sex, but more importantly it diverts attention away from the worship of God and onto Mary, which is the last thing she would have wanted imho. It has been the subject of dispute throughout the history of the Church and has kept theologians in business for hundreds of years. It was only declared a doctrine by the Church in the 19th century, coincidentally (or not) at a time when scientific theories were being regarded as a threat to religion. It gives non-Catholics a stick to beat us with, and it keeps ordinary Catholics in their place by making them feel stupid for not understanding or wicked for not believing a doctrine that doesn''t actually make much sense in the first place. It''s the worst possible example of the "Keep the Faith" mentality. Even writing this makes cynical old Mystic faintly scared in case it proves I''m the worthless little piece of shite that deep down I fear myself to be . . .Point of clarification, if any is needed: the Immaculate Conception refers to the conception of Mary, not of Jesus. It is based on the idea that in order to be worthy to give birth to God in human form, Mary had to be fundamentally different from and better than the rest of the human race (and specifically the female half) by being free from sin. It was believed that the tendency to "sinfulness" (ie. human weakness, selfishness and sometimes deliberate wickedness) starts at the moment of conception, so the Church claims that in Mary''s case the act of conception by her parents Joachim and Anne was somehow preserved from this "original sin". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sheded 0 Posted December 13, 2006 Don`t give a rats arse .... cluck on another ego trip [:|] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathy 823 Posted December 13, 2006 Sadly you have missed the opportunity to cast a Shakespearian actor. At school I played the part of a tree in Midsummer Nights Dream. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
First Wizard 0 Posted December 13, 2006 [quote user="sheded"]Don`t give a rats arse .... cluck on another ego trip [:|][/quote]Top candidate for most childsh reply of the year me thinks!. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Marty 0 Posted December 13, 2006 [quote user="Herb"][quote user="Marty"]oh, and if she is the barmaid i''d recomend a change of skirt (as in avatar) or you''ll be requesting crisps from the lowest shelf possible![/quote]Thats a skirt?I assumed it was some sort of pleated belt [:)]Fair play to you missus Marty, though I''m pretty sure you don''t deserve her... [;)][/quote]Pleated belts are all the fashion in my household, well not with me of course, now there''s a frightening thought! of course I deserve her! well I couldn''t possibly answer than anyway. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Pete 2,353 Posted December 13, 2006 We are well used to the annual Christmas Naivety being played out in press conferences at Carrow Rd at this time of year: "If we string a few wins together, we can easily reach the automatic promotion places, and be back in the Premiership where we belong..." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
canary cherub 1 Posted December 13, 2006 [quote user="sheded"]Don`t give a rats arse .... cluck on another ego trip [:|][/quote]aw cluck, give him a part . . .sheded, you can be the one who opens and shuts the stable door . . .bless . . . Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
7rew 0 Posted December 13, 2006 Ah sorry for mistaking the asexual nature of angels, was confused by the carol:The angel Gabriel from heaven came,His wings as drifted snow, his eyes as flame;''All hail,'' said he, ''thou lowly maiden Mary,Most highly favoured lady, Gloria! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
