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Changing Room Chatter - top 5 excuses!

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I was chuckling to my self after my weekly 5-a-side runabout this week.

There''s a group that has started playing on the court alongside us who

obviously get roundly beaten every week and they come in to the

changing room after with some great excuses. They talk like they''re pro

footballers rather than the motley bunch that they are of assorted

office workers in various states of unfitness, flaling around for an

hour a week like the rest of us.

It''s like they''re saying if only it wasn''t for this than and the other,

they''d all be these incredible, slightly overweight and ruddy faced,

part-time footballing geniuses!

These are some of the things i''ve really heard (followed by what it really means):

"There''s no point doing zonal marking if you''re the only one doing it." 

(you were largely responsible for 8 of the 11 goals the team has just conceded)

"That was so frustrating - i kept going on the overlap for a cross but never got the opportunity"

(you spent the whole game goal hanging but no-one wanted to pass to you anyway)

"I don''t know what was wrong with me this week. I couldn''t stop scoring last week!"

(you shinned one in last week and scuffed another but this week missed an open goal from 6 inches. twice.)

"I''m really better playing in midfield where i''ve got the energy to run around and break the play up."

(you have two left feet and couldn''t score in a barrel of f****s, but hey, you can at least run around a lot)

"They were so lucky the way they just kept scoring"

(genius! this guy should be retired immediately and made manager!)

Anyone heard any more like that when they play?

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Not quite the same, but along similar lines.  I used to play a casual 6-a-side kickabout game once a week with mates, but there was always one who usually played very well (if that involves trying to score from 40 yards on astroturf rather than passing).  Whenever he had a bad game, or things weren''t going well.  He once shouted at the wind (yes, the wind) after losing control of the ball, and more famously blamed their going behind on a chap who wasn''t even there!Nice chap though (in case he''s reading this).

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