Soccerbot

[yellow_belly 226]

It is pleasing to see that  Soccerbot has significantly improved our players. Well done Soccerbot. A brilliant £750,000 investment. 😂

[Mello Yello 2,289]

If the club gave me £500.00 I could pop down to Colney with 90+ tubes of water-tight sealant and fill the joints and gaps of all the internal walls of Soccerbot....Give it 24 hours sealant curing time then fill the bot with water....'Hey Presto' there's your training ground swimming pool....

Sorted!....(Lateral thinking is my Forte).....

[Google Bot 3,275]

Apparently there's an app on there which simulates different crowd scenarios to help build the players mental strength, and learn to deal with high pressure situations.

Zoe and Stu have been known take a few bottles of wine in, change the settings to 'Elated disciples' and proceed to make-out in the centre of the floor.... Allegedly, of course.  

It's possible they've not been changing it back, hence why the players are freaking out in a real stadium.

Edited April 25, 2023 by Google Bot

[Sooty57 403]

23 hours ago, yellow_belly said:

It is pleasing to see that  Soccerbot has significantly improved our players. Well done Soccerbot. A brilliant £750,000 investment. 😂

Aaah yes, but how cr@p would we have been without it?

[yellow_belly 226]

2 hours ago, Sooty57 said:

Aaah yes, but how cr@p would we have been without it?

Scary. I didn’t think about that!

[alex_ncfc 662]

Personally I see things like the Soccerbot as a bullsh*t investment and a huge waste of money.

Other clubs do just fine without this kind of nonsense, and it clearly hasn't given us any edge whatsoever.

[cambridgeshire canary 6,713]

Get the feeling it's covered in cobwebs.. 

[rock bus 851]

33 minutes ago, alex_ncfc said:

Personally I see things like the Soccerbot as a bullsh*t investment and a huge waste of money.

Some people might make the same assessment of player acquisitions over last couple of years!

[TeemuVanBasten 3,327]

36 minutes ago, alex_ncfc said:

Personally I see things like the Soccerbot as a bullsh*t investment and a huge waste of money.

Other clubs do just fine without this kind of nonsense, and it clearly hasn't given us any edge whatsoever.

Gilmour was the best at it. Cantwell second best. 

We've literally paid £750k to find out the complete obvious, that slight players who carry less bulk and weight are typically more nimble and agile.

I'd have told Webber that for £7.50

Edited April 26, 2023 by TeemuVanBasten

[norfolkngood 1,086]

22 minutes ago, TeemuVanBasten said:

Gilmour was the best at it. Cantwell second best. 

We've literally paid £750k to find out the complete obvious, that slight players who carry less bulk and weight are typically more nimble and agile.

I'd have told Webber that for £7.50

Soccerbot should be on one of those shopping channels looks good but when you get it home it is useless 

[Number9 272]

1 hour ago, alex_ncfc said:

Personally I see things like the Soccerbot as a bullsh*t investment and a huge waste of money.

Other clubs do just fine without this kind of nonsense, and it clearly hasn't given us any edge whatsoever.

Colin Wa**ker is a big fan apparently. 

😉

[YoungRon 1]

1 hour ago, alex_ncfc said:

Personally I see things like the Soccerbot as a bullsh*t investment and a huge waste of money.

Other clubs do just fine without this kind of nonsense, and it clearly hasn't given us any edge whatsoever.

Right. The money could have been spent on something useful. Apparently, the marketer had some crazy ideas that he was able to convince management of.

[Google Bot 3,275]

56 minutes ago, TeemuVanBasten said:

We've literally paid £750k to find out the complete obvious, that slight players who carry less bulk and weight are typically more nimble and agile.

It seems like something you'd buy if you had limited training facilities. 

But when you consider we've got the full playing squad, plus U21, and all the facilities and training pitches for REAL football... I can't see the advantage in playing what's a glorified computer game - The stats collected, as you say, will always make the smaller agile players sit top of the list.

I'd quite like to have a play in it though, they should just open it up for season tickets to book a free session after the **** we've watched this year!

[wcorkcanary 4,334]

Well , one thing is for sure. If we got our Soccerbot on the cheap as it could be used as a ' showbot' ...and other clubs would be queuing up to get one, wouldn't soccerbot inc have been much better off just giving one to Man City? .....their results in the last few years would have sold one to many many Clubs. 

[YoungRon 1]

21 minutes ago, wcorkcanary said:

Well , one thing is for sure. If we got our Soccerbot on the cheap as it could be used as a ' showbot' ...and other clubs would be queuing up to get one, wouldn't soccerbot inc have been much better off just giving one to Man City? .....their results in the last few years would have sold one to many many Clubs. 

Man City will think 100 times whether they need such an "invention". Those guys know how to invest money. Their game speaks for itself.

[Justin time 182]

On 25/04/2023 at 08:39, Mello Yello said:

If the club gave me £500.00 I could pop down to Colney with 90+ tubes of water-tight sealant and fill the joints and gaps of all the internal walls of Soccerbot....Give it 24 hours sealant curing time then fill the bot with water....'Hey Presto' there's your training ground swimming pool....

Sorted!....(Lateral thinking is my Forte).....

Easier than that, I can just pop down and actually turn it on.

[wcorkcanary 4,334]

1 minute ago, YoungRon said:

Man City will think 100 times whether they need such an "invention". Those guys know how to invest money. Their game speaks for itself.

Whoosh.

[Nexus_Canary 1,016]

32 minutes ago, Google Bot said:

 

I'd quite like to have a play in it though, they should just open it up for season tickets to book a free session after the **** we've watched this year!

Club should refund at least 50 percent of all season tickets taken from playing staff and coaching teams wages 

[wcorkcanary 4,334]

1 minute ago, Nexus_Canary said:

Club should refund at least 50 percent of all season tickets taken from playing staff and coaching teams wages 

How about a sliding scale direct debit on exit after a game. You pay €40 for a win £20 for a draw and sweet fa if we lose.... gate receipts reflected in players/coaches wages that week. 

[Nexus_Canary 1,016]

Just now, wcorkcanary said:

How about a sliding scale direct debit on exit after a game. You pay €40 for a win £20 for a draw and sweet fa if we lose.... gate receipts reflected in players/coaches wages that week. 

That might make a few of them break a sweat.

No win no fee.

 

[wcorkcanary 4,334]

3 minutes ago, Nexus_Canary said:

That might make a few of them break a sweat.

No win no fee.

 

Im starting to adopt the Ethics school of thought regarding ridiculous suggestions as to how to improve things.  

[Canary Wundaboy 1,359]

14 hours ago, Google Bot said:

Apparently there's an app on there which simulates different crowd scenarios to help build the players mental strength, and learn to deal with high pressure situations.

Zoe and Stu have been known take a few bottles of wine in, change the settings to 'Elated disciples' and proceed to make-out in the centre of the floor.... Allegedly, of course.  

It's possible they've not been changing it back, hence why the players are freaking out in a real stadium.

Thanks for that, spat diet coke all over my keyboard.

[yellow_belly 226]

I find it interesting that the club is motivated by ….

soccerbot, the veg patch, the new badge and the club font.

What a complete waste of money and effort. 
 

Surely, the most important element is player recruitment and results/ effort on the pitch.

But obviously 90% Stu and Delia (hic) know what is REALLY important!

[shefcanary 2,397]

1 hour ago, YoungRon said:

Man City will think 100 times whether they need such an "invention". Those guys know how to invest money. Their game speaks for itself.

Haven't you seen their training ground at the Etihad Campus. The first team is based in this massive circular walled space, rather like a large Soccerbot. They probably spent £7,500,000 on it.

Edited April 26, 2023 by shefcanary

[Mello Yello 2,289]

1 hour ago, Justin time said:

Easier than that, I can just pop down and actually turn it on.

In your Speedos?.....(Canary smugglers)....

[Mello Yello 2,289]

27 minutes ago, shefcanary said:

Haven't you seen their training ground at the Etihad Campus. The first team is based in this massive circular walled space, rather like a large Soccerbot. They probably spent £7,500,000 on it.

Pretty impressive set up....is there a Greggs nearby?.....

[Unhinged Canary 375]

7 hours ago, shefcanary said:

Haven't you seen their training ground at the Etihad Campus. The first team is based in this massive circular walled space, rather like a large Soccerbot. They probably spent £7,500,000 on it.

That place is insane.

They're currently building an indoor arena/ground there that's twice the capacity of Bournemouths ground and bigger than half the grounds in the Championship.

It's just a different world.

[Google Bot 3,275]

Colney ain't all that bad..

[Gibbo 131]

We're the only club in the champs that has Soccerbot and we're the team who has given up twice as many scoring opportunities from mistakes than any other team in the league.  I may be completely missing the mark, but it makes you wonder if there is any correlation...

[Sooty57 403]

Looking on the Soccerbot 360 website it would appear that we are one of just a handful of sides who have bought it (the only UK one I can see). I wonder why that is.

I was also surprised to learn that it isn't actually a Ronco or JML product.