Player Ratings for the Palace game

[Citizen Journalist Foghorn 0]

from Poirot:

All in all a pretty dreadful performance. Palace are no world beaters, and rely on a backline of giants (even their right back was about 6 foot 6), and quick pacy strikers with good dribbling skills. We on the other hand looked like we''d never played football before. Passing and control was atrocious. Technically our players are woeful with the exception of McVeigh, who looked good in the second half. Right:

Green : 5 - made some decent saves, beaten by some good finishes.

Fleming : 7 - my MOM for us today, if only for his personal duel with Wade Andrews in the second half which he won.

Drury: 4 - was dreadful. Not the reliable player we used to remember. In decline - and rapid decline at that.

Reshman: 3 - dreadful. Holes all over the back today. Not convinced by him.

Doherty: 5 - tried hard, but lack of pace exposed him to AJ.

Johansson: 5 - hardly in it and was subbed at half time. No idea why though.

Safri: 5 - wayward passing, and wasn''t really at his best.

Robinson: 2 (for 60 mins of the game), 5 (for the other 30). Looked atrocious for long periods of the game, and then late in the second half seemed to be in it a lot more, presumably when he realised Etuhu was completely useless and not in the game.

Huckerby: 5 - tried hard, but the massive right back had him in his pocket. And the pitch didn''t help him.

Earnshaw: 4 - looked like he had lead weights attached to him. Did nothing.

Thorne: 1 - abysmal. Is this guy a professional footballer?

Subs:

Etuhu; (6 first half) (2 second half) and he was on the pitch in the first half for 2 mins - when he actually looked good. Sadly in the second half he demonstrated an inability to control the ball, pass it, and went missing for long periods.

McVeigh; 6 - the only player in our team capable of a) controlling it, and b) passing it intelligently. Did well considering he was surrounded by conference standard players.

McKenzie: 5 - worked hard. No quality.

Posted By: Poirot on February 25th 2006 at 18:55:42

[FilletTheFishWife . 0]

Robinson and Etuhu were awful. Time for Jarrett to have a another turn in Worthy''s competition for the worst midfield purchase of 2005/06.

My ratings from yet another pathetic, abysmal, dreadful, inept, shocking performance (can''t be bothered to justify them with comments):-

 

Green 5

Fleming 6

Doherty 5

Rehman 4

Drury 4

Johannsen 5

Safri 5

Robinson 3

Huckerby 6

Thorne 3

Earnshaw 5

Subs

Etuhu 4

McVeigh 7

McKenzie 6

 

Worthington PLEASE GO SOON

[Making Plans 936]

Listening to the commentary, I''d have thought they were all lucky to get a rating of 0

[Yellow Rages 0]

Green - Couldn''t do much with any of the goals but kicking was poor. 6

Flemming - Had a good battle with the left midfield player and came out on top but was seriously under pressure for the entire game. 7

Doherty - Some good ariel play at times but gave away silly free kicks  - 6

Reham - Mugged off by Johnson and couldn''t cope with players running at him. Also looked unsure about position. 5

Drury - Seen him play better but he didn''t really have much option in front of him.When he had the ball with time, there was no available option. Also some silly basic control mistakes. 5

Johansen - Tried to drive through the right side but made no impact whatsoever. I expect more from one of our better talents. 5

Safri - Hot and cold. Good in spells but gave away the ball cheaply at times. 6 just

Robinson -  Our only performer of the day. He tackled well, looked composed on the ball and played it simply to feet. A couple of stray passes but over the ninety minutes he did well. I followed him for the game and have to say I thought he did well.

Huckerby - Like johansen wasn''t even at the races. Simple things like "back to payer recieves ball/ gives ball back to drury/ then stops!" He should then spin off his man and want the return. but he didn''t look interested.He had our only real shot of the game though so just gets a 6.

Thorne -  Never sure what his role really is. Is he a target? because he doesn''t win much in the air. Or is he a goal scorer? because I never see him in the box. He doesn''t shoot. He''s not fast. He''s not skillfull. What are his atributes?. A no show. 4

Earnshaw - Difficult to tell as he still didn''t get any sevice. Ran around a bit and could have won a penalty. 5.5

 

 

 

 

[Citizen Journalist Foghorn 0]

My thoughts on Palace game from Mr Kant

A capital bound canary, this was my first Norwich game in ooooh a long time....

Anyway, I think the word that sums up our performance was "shambolic". Although we conceded four goals I think that problem was less with the defence and more with our central midfield, which was so lightweight it left the defenders open and exposed and our attack without any service what so ever.

Etuhu and Robinson absolutely shocking and Johansson who is not a winger was invisible. Safri showed some flair before he went off (I was in the Palace end by the way, they really hate Safri don''t they!)

Huckerby was our most dangerous player in the first half (They really hate Huckerby too!) and there was some nice link up play with Drury. Talking of Drury did anyone else notice his blooper - under no pressure at all he tripped over his own feet and contrived to the knock the ball out for a Palace corner. I laughed but I was crying on the inside.

Thorne invisible the whole match save for one nice link up move in midfield. Blink and you would have missed it.

As for Earnshaw, got into some good positions and put in some good crosses but too lightweight got bundled off the ball easily by the 8 foot tall palace defenders.

As for the defence - Docherty seemed to be our only defender at times and did make some telling blocks, tackles headers etc. Oddly fleming seemed to be out most creative player in the second half which is rather worrying. Rehman - where was he?

Finally, honorable mentions for Paul McVeigh and McKenzie, at least when they came on they played like they gave a s**t.

So in summary Palace fully deserved the win playing incisive, passing football vs shambolic, hoofball tactics. The own goal at the end kind of summed up our day it was as if Palace were saying "this is where the goal is"

WORTHY OUT!

Posted By: Mr Kant on February 25th 2006 at 23:04:46

[yellow bird 0]

Yep, this is the team that is apparently not a ''million miles away'' from success. Thorne is not remotely threatening. Is he really a striker? Robinson looks busy but is ineffectual. Dickson can''t pass, shoot, head or tackle.I could go on.

I had hoped that yesterday I might have seen some small signs that would had hinted at some optimism for next season. Unfortunately, next season will again be about re-building. I saw nothing that suggested we had a potential top six team.

It looks like we are at least 5 players short of a useful team. None of the new buys demonstrated any potential and these are supposed to be seasoned pros who know what they are doing.

Was there a game plan? Was there any leadership on the pitch? The only time we looked organised and new what we were doing was in the pre-match huddle! And I only think we did this because Palace were doing it.

[Citizen Journalist Foghorn 0]

To be fair to Ottoson his last match was the 4 nil defeat at reading

*** The Foxtrot Report *** (Warning: Very long, and should not be read by anyone). - By Ottoson Foxtrot

CRYSTAL PALACE 4 NORWICH CITY 1

My first trip to an away game v Crystal Palace since the 1998-1999 season, when a Norwich team containing Darren Eadie, Craig Bellamy, Iwan Roberts and Ged Brannan were thoroughly outclassed by a brilliant Palace side featuring Attilio Lombardo, Matt Jansen, Fan Zhiyi and a man who was to become one of my all-time favourite NCFC players, Mathias Svensson.

I got the train to Selhurst, arriving to buy my ticket for this second-tier football league match, which cost THIRTY POUNDS. I looked at the ticket. As part of Crystal Palace’s centenary celebrations, the ticket featured a number of chairmen from the club’s history, with messages for the away fans.

There was a picture of Lord Cuthbert Cuthbert Pilkington-Symthe, head of the East India Co. and Crystal Palace chairman in 1905, saying, “You, squire, appear to be a gentleman of questionable judgement”. Their Fifties chairman, A. H. Chequer, was pictured saying, “I believe you to be educationally sub-normal.” Ron Noades was featured from the early nineties, saying “You see that Nick Leeson? That’s you, that is”. Mark Goldberg declared, “You’re even worse with your money than I am”, whilst Simon Jordan was pictured simply pointing and laughing.

Anyway, for my THIRTY POUNDS, I got a seat in the Arthur Wait stand, with the sun in my eyes throughout, in a crappy chair with a pillar obstructing much of the pitch.

Last season’s game at Palace was an intense affair, with passions running high amongst both players and supporters. I didn’t go because I was broke and tickets cost THIRTY-FIVE POUNDS, but I have had a year to reflect on that afternoon, and thinking back to it, it was always going to be a desperate, high-octane battle, and looking at it objectively, Palace structured their game in such a way as to get their star striker into the penalty area, and in the cold light of day, perhaps it was a penalty.

Much has changed since then, though, both in terms of the League situation and the playing personnel, and the teams lined up completely differently here:

CRYSTAL PALACE
Gábor Király; Gary Borrowdale, Emmerson Boyce, Fitz Hall, Darren “I didn’t want to play for Norwich anyway” Ward; Ben Watson, Jobi McAnuff, Tom Soares, Michael Hughes; Andrew “cheating diving f**king cheating **** who’d sell his own mother to win a penalty” Johnson, Clinton “I didn’t want to play for Norwich anyway” Morrison.
Subs: Julian Speroni, Mikele Leigertwood, Tony Popovic, Wayne Andrews, Dougie Freedman.

NORWICH CITY
Robert Green; Zeshan Rehman, Adam Drury, Gary Doherty, Craig Fleming; Youssef Safri, Jonatan Johansson, Carl Robinson, Darren Huckerby; Robert Earnshaw, Peter Thorne.
Subs: Paul Gallacher, Jürgen Colin, Dickson Etuhu, Paul McVeigh, Leon McKenzie.

The game kicked off and I thought, “We’ve lost this.” Robert Earnshaw – whose resemblance to the aliens that you see on tacky Sky One “documentaries” about abductions is genuinely disturbing – looked lively, and might have had a penalty early on if he had played for Palace and his name was Andrew Johnson.

Apart from that, though, Norwich offered absolutely nothing in the entire match. Palace went ahead in the seventh minute, when Comedy Clown Johnson managed not to fall over his big floppy clown feet, instead using them to rifle the ball past the thoroughly pissed-off Robert Green into the far corner, meaning that Nigel Worthington was now unquestionably the biggest clown in the stadium.

Norwich hoofed the ball around for a bit, requiring Green to make a few good saves before Ben Watson smashed home a brilliant second goal on thirty-four minutes. I’d travelled up with a few Palace fans, and they told me Borrowdale, Soares and Watson were their “Youth Team Players.”

Apparently, this is a process whereby instead of spending extortionate sums of money for lazy, mercenary cast-offs or hard-working but talentless grafters, they find their own players – sometimes from the local area! – and try playing them in the team! Apparently they cost nothing – not even THIRTY POUNDS! It still sounds preposterous to me, though. I’m glad Norwich don’t do that any more, we’re much better off with our intelligent, ambitious and not-at-all parochial or lazy transfer policy.

Youssef Safri – our one-man midfield – went off injured just before half-time, leaving us with a no-man midfield, with Worthington clearly distraught at being unable to pick his beloved Andy Hughes. In Hughes’ absence, Carl Robinson and Dickson “work ethic” Etuhu wandering around aimlessly near the centre circle, and the Palace fans laughing heartily at our expense.

I tried to imagine the half-time team talk, where Worthy would make one last desperate attempt to save his job:

WORTHINGTON: Flem! Doc! Hoof it harder! HARDER! And you – Earnshaw – you need to work a damn sight harder, notmean? It’s not good being 5’5” and not jumping! Jump! Jump higher! And you, Drury, hoof it at the big one! (Points) THE BIG ONE! THE F***ING BIG ONE! See him?
THORNE: I’m ninety-two years old!

FLEMING: Time to retire, Peter.
THORNE: Pipe down, you young rapscallion!
HUCKERBY: Couldn’t we try “passing” the ball?
WORTHINGTON: Sit down! Shut up! I’m blaming the pitch for that one, that’s the sit-u-ay-shun. Now get out there and kick that ball as hard as you can!
JOHANSSON: Screw this, I’m going back to Charlton.
WORTHINGTON: Right, THAT’S IT! Get off! GET OFF! McVeigh, you’re on. Right - everyone hoof it at this guy! Paul, get your head out of your hands and get out there!

Worthington’s team talk clearly worked, if his aim was to somehow top an apparently unbeatably crap first-half performance with an even more crap second-half performance, especially if he’d ordered his players to search for hitherto undiscovered areas of ineptitude in a desperate final bid to write himself into the annals of football history.

Clinton Morrison scored somehow, sending the imaginative Palace fans into humour overdrive, launching a volley of brilliant comic Exocets at us, such as “Worse than the Brighton” and “Easy” and “You paid THIRTY POUNDS, you retards.”* Worthington, meanwhile, decided to remove Old Mr. Thorne, much to the relief of absolutely everyone, not least Thorne who, if he runs his fastest, might get to the Post Office to collect his pension by Tuesday morning. On came Leon McKenzie, who was probably distinctly less excited about facing Palace now than he said he was in the match programme.

Fitz Hall scored a farcically easy goal from a corner, with Norwich rectifying their constant Premiership of defending corners with all eleven men by defending the corner without any men at all. Norwich huffed and puffed a bit more, devoid of structure, communication, tactical awareness, passing, tackling, shooting or running.

Pitying us, Iain Dowie – vying with Earnshaw for Best Star Trek Extra of the afternoon – brought on Wayne Andrews, hoping to provide us with a bit of comic relief. Conference player Andrews nearly out-clowned Worthington, not least because of his shiny white boots, which – as all good football fans know – make a comically bad, would-be showboat player that much funnier. Andrews squared up to one of our defenders and proceeded to make a complete arse of himself by continually trying to skin our slow, inept defensive line, only to fail to beat the first man every single time. Sign him up Nigel, he plays right midfield!

Palace further helped us when Darren Ward – not our Darren Ward, the good one – turned an innocuous cross into his own net, the only shot on target towards Kiraly’s goal all afternoon. I received a text from a friend saying “You’re like a man with no dick at an orgy, you need someone else to score for you.” If it wasn’t for this ‘friend’ I’d probably have left by that point.

The final whistle finally went, and I thought how lucky we were to have only lost 4-1. 7-0 would have been a much fairer score-line. I have resolved never, EVER to go to Selhurst Park again.*

For what it’s worth, the player ratings:

ROBERT GREEN: 6. Made a few very good saves, and didn’t have much chance with the goals. Did well not to start crouching in one corner of the goal, crying his eyes out and screaming epithets such as “I used to be an England contender!” or “You call that bunch of clowns a defence?” or “You call that a ‘wealth of midfielders’?”

DARREN WARD: 9. Otto’s star man. We tried to sign him over the summer, and he generously showed our team how to score. You may not have signed for us Darren, but you’ll always have a special place in our hearts.

ZESHAN REHMAN: Oh, I don’t know, 2 or something. Does it matter?

The Palace fans were a witless bunch, even at 4-0 up: the only mildly amusing they could come up with “Why don’t you all sit together?” seeing the seats left empty by those Norwich fans who, bizarrely, didn’t fancy paying THIRTY POUNDS for a match ticket. Otherwise, they recycled Cardiff’s “magic hat” chant about Peter Thorne in favour of Andrew “cheat” Johnson – they can have it, we’re not going to use it.

But there are serious questions, too. Lots of them. How long can the club keep performing like this as soon as they come up against any team that might finish in the top half (particularly away from home)? Why don’t the players look motivated, interested or even fit? Why does Worthington attempt to play 4-2-4 away from home against a top-six side, and then try to play defensive football? How long is it going to take Robert Earnshaw – who displayed occasional flashes to quality – to get thoroughly dispirited with the total lack of service? Why don’t the Board act on this? Why don’t we have a specialist right midfielder? What’s a “midfield”? What are “youth players”? Why did I pay so much money for this when I knew exactly what was going to happen?

* Not really.

Posted By: Ottosson Foxtrot on February 26th 2006 at 14:29:09

[Citizen Journalist Foghorn 0]

***Match Report*** Norwich somehow lose at Selhurst Park... by Brandonia

On Friday 24th February I saw the best gig I''ve ever been to and it cost me - £25 - I sat down in a beautiful theatre in a big nice comfy seat and watched the finest solo singer songwriter of his generation play a 2hr 45min set.

On Saturday 25th February I saw, not the first time this season, one of the worst football matches i''ve been to and paid £30 for it. People commented my trainers were s**t and taped up, I promise you I wasn''t doing it for effect I actually can''t afford a new pair, too busy paying for s**t like Palace away.

Well the day started well, I was sat at home enjoying myself making a CD and then I had a time check and realised I was gonna struggle to make kick off, so I got a move on...hopeful of missing the palace first goal. I had a few beers on the journey and suddenly I thought we might win and then I saw Selhurst Park.

Anyway having resigned myself to a defeat I thought I might as well have a laugh about it. My mate Simon got very angry about the first goal and I tried to work out why Andy Johnson didn''t dive. He said at this point if either they score again or it gets to 35mins we''ll go and have some food and beers. Palace scored on the 35th minute so we went down into the Selhurst dungeons to be greeted by some very angry men in Norwich shirts and the Stewards didn''t like it very much, I was hoping it might kick off so we could win at Selhurst for once.

Anyways I enjoyed the beers so much they I missed the first 10mins of the 2nd half so have no idea how Clinton Morrisson scored and I suspect he felt the same way.

The 4th goal was a simple corner and a simple header trick, it didn''t look like a real goal! Well I had decided when it reached 16:50 on my watch I was gonna be off...I left and Norwich scored...well Palace scored for us.

Match Ratings:

Green: 4
Fleming: 4

I don''t care anymore.

Posted By: Brandonio on February 26th 2006 at 16:11:55

[Chunky Norwich 0]

I can safely say that the Foxtrot report is, without a doubt, the funniest thing I''ve ever read on these boards. Was almost worth getting soundly beaten just to read that!

[Citizen Journalist Foghorn 0]

[quote user="Forbes17"]I can safely say that the Foxtrot report is, without a doubt, the funniest thing I''ve ever read on these boards. Was almost worth getting soundly beaten just to read that![/quote]

if you look halfway down this page you can see his match report for the reading game!!

http://new.pinkun.com/cs/forums/1/620038/ShowPost.aspx#620038

equally quality

[Citizen Journalist Foghorn 0]

Back from London - I absolutely despair for the state of NCFC! by Jim

I have seen virtually all of our away "performances" over the last few years but barely have I witnessed such a pathetic, shambolic load of crap as I had to sit through yesterday.

I knew the day was going to go badly when I found myself sitting in traffic on the M11 for 4 hours, had to ditch the car at Epping and arrived at the ground just in time to see AJ score a ridiculously easy first goal. It did not improve from that point until I was safely away from Selhurst Park and was able to file yet another dimal away showing deep in the recesses of my mind.

How anyone can possibly still sanction this man being in charge of our team is beyond me. There is absolutely no evidence of any tactics, coaching, spirit or will to win in that squad whatsoever and the buck stops with him. i am fed up with him getting away with the constant "they are not doing what we tell them to on the training ground" crap. That is the excuse of a manager who has no answer.

I feel this is a very important week for the future of our club. NCISA''s meeting, which i had previosuly thought may be a damp squib, has assumed vast importance in my eyes because everything coming out of Skipper, Delia at all suggests they are still not prepared to listen. Well if they won''t then somebody has to make them listen. 150 people outside the ground demonstrating is too easily dismissed. The views of the fans needs to be heard and to be coordinated by someone and that is what NCISA was formed to do and needs to do now!

That was no minority shouting Worthy out on saturday. That was the whole away end (apart from the chump who shouted at me "you''ve got short memories haven''t you, you weren''t shouting that when he got us promoted" only to make a fool of himself when I said "ok then lets keep hil forever shall we" and he shouted back "no!" then realised he''d contradicted himself). On thursday and saturday a clear message needs to be sent from the fans.

I also face the prospect of having to renew my season ticket this week. I will do, but right now i''m really not sure I want to!

Posted By: Jim on February 26th 2006 at 18:13:26

[breaker 0]

I spoke to a friend who works and lives in Norwich but is a lifelong Palace supporter today. He was not scathing, did not laugh or poke fun, none of which is like him. When I asked him if City played as bad as the commentary suggested he made just one comment,

''You don''t have a team mate''

Sadly I think he''s right.

[Oso Butch 0]

Is there any chance of Foxtrot being signed up to write for the Pink''Un????   PLEASE????  [:D]

!!!! Utterly brilliant !!!

[Citizen Journalist Foghorn 0]

I find this hard to beleive but apparantly rob earnshaw scored a 2  in the news of the world match ratings!!!  huckerby''s scored highest with a 5.....

i barely remember seeing a 4 in thses sorts of things.  apart from the odd zero for idiocy sometimes

[Citizen Journalist Foghorn 0]

The Edp Ratings:

green 6
fleming 6 mtm
Doc 5
Rehman 4 (after a series of good games, this was a stinker)
Drury 5
JJ4 (simply anonymous)
Saf 5
Hucks 5
Earnie 5
geri 4 (made little contribution apart from regularly tugging an opponent''s shirt and then denying it)

Desmond 4 (hardly featured)
McVeigh 6
Leon 5 (only surprise was this change took so long to make)