Pakistan v England

[horsefly 4,273]

Blimey!

[king canary 7,562]

A pitch so flat even Crawley is making 80 something ball centuries.

Unless it crumbles over the next day or two this has the makings of one of the most boring tests in recent memories.

[keelansgrandad 6,679]

I can never remember four centuries in one days play, assuming Brook gets there. And it looks like he will have to stand on his stumps to do that.

[PurpleCanary 5,553]

Root letting the side down again, I see.

[horsefly 4,273]

6 minutes ago, PurpleCanary said:

Root letting the side down again, I see.

ep! He's just lost us the Ashes.

[A Load of Squit 5,112]

1 hour ago, PurpleCanary said:

Root letting the side down again, I see.

Obviously needs some extra nets. 😀

[How I Wrote Elastic Man 1,180]

Ducketts place must be under threat if he can't even manage a run a ball

😊

[Daz Sparks 1,140]

I'm definitely liking the sh!t or bust approach!

[keelansgrandad 6,679]

NZ coach. NZ skipper. 

[horsefly 4,273]

54 minutes ago, keelansgrandad said:

NZ coach. NZ skipper. 

Braverman will put them on a plane to Rwanda when they get back to the UK.

[Aggy 747]

13 hours ago, king canary said:

A pitch so flat even Crawley is making 80 something ball centuries.

Unless it crumbles over the next day or two this has the makings of one of the most boring tests in recent memories.

Pointless pitch. Did I hear there hadn’t been a test match wicket at this ground in 110 overs of play before our fist fell today? 

May as well try and see if we can beat Sri Lanka’s 952 and when we can’t, shake hands, call it a draw and have a few extra day’s rest.

 

[Herman 9,700]

I wake up to an England collapse. It was going so well too.😀

[king canary 7,562]

Pakistan finish the day 181-0. Absolutely nothing to be learned from a match like this unfortunately. 

[Herman 9,700]

Aye, I turned off before tea. There's zero threat. 

[horsefly 4,273]

This is a job for the "Free George Davis" gang. If there are any of them still alive, I'll pay their airfare.

[How I Wrote Elastic Man 1,180]

3 hours ago, horsefly said:

This is a job for the "Free George Davis" gang. If there are any of them still alive, I'll pay their airfare.

Instead  of abandoning the match, I'd let it continue after they had poured oil on it and dug holes in it

[Aggy 747]

Surely even England can’t collapse in the second innings to end up with a result in this one. Pakistan 100 ahead at lunch on day 4 and England all out for 60 by close of play?

Not a bad pitch if you want to go and watch two t20 sides smash humongous sixes all night long. Pointless for test cricket though.

[Herman 9,700]

Wahey, a wicket.👏

[How I Wrote Elastic Man 1,180]

Brave declaration 

Pakistan set 340 odd to win in 4 sessions 

England have 1 wicket already 

[horsefly 4,273]

44 minutes ago, How I Wrote Elastic Man said:

Brave declaration 

Pakistan set 340 odd to win in 4 sessions 

England have 1 wicket already 

Indeed! Unthinkable before the current leadership. I'm sure the journos have two stories already written up for tomorrow: one titled, "Heroic declaration secures unlikely England win", the other, "Crazy declaration secures inevitable defeat".

Edited December 4, 2022 by horsefly

[keelansgrandad 6,679]

Great declaration. Draws are meaningless. If we can't bowl them out on the last day its our own fault. We know we have done brilliantly away from home even if we lose.

[How I Wrote Elastic Man 1,180]

Tea time. Pakistan 80 odd to win, England 5 wickets 

What's the chance that it boils down to Pakistan needing 3 to win, 9 wickets down and the umpires bringing the players off for bad light?

[horsefly 4,273]

As I said in the first post, blimey!!!

[keelansgrandad 6,679]

Unbelievable really. That many runs and still a result. No fear is certainly the new way in cricket. Can we persuade some football managers.

[Aggy 747]

Fair play! Got to risk losing to win. Didn’t have a problem with the declaration (easier to say that now admittedly!) but touch and go! Poor from Pakistan really but you need a bit of that if you’re going to win on a pitch like that. Not just the declaration but also interesting decision not to go and get the new ball straight away - bit of swing later on with the older ball.

 

[How I Wrote Elastic Man 1,180]

Amazing win, full credit to Stokes 

I'm looking forward to the next 2 tests now 😀

[Daz Sparks 1,140]

Absolutely unbelievable!

Viva cricket nouveau!

[horsefly 4,273]

A result that would simply have been impossible prior to the current regime of Stokes and McCullum. The England stats are absolutely astonishing. They won with about 8 minutes to spare, so had they not scored their runs at a remarkable record-breaking rate the chance of getting a victory on such a benign pitch would have been beyond miniscule. I don't think it hyperbole to suggest that this performance has shattered just about every conventional principle upon which over a century of test cricket has been founded. 

Edited December 5, 2022 by horsefly

[king canary 7,562]

Well, a thrilling end to a test that looked nailed on to be a draw at the end of day 2. Well played England!

[king canary 7,562]

An English batting collapse is oddly comforting at times.