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cliffoa

More great quotes from the maestro

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Managers usually fall into well-known categories - ''professors'' like Wenger and Mourhino, or ''hair-dryers'' like Barry Fry and Mike Basset. Then there''s the ''professorial hair-dryer'' combo of Fergie.  But most Premier and Championship managers have one thing in common, they all seem quite eloquent and intelligent when interviewed. You can see them put their brain into gear and think about the question before they answer.

I was wondering if we should invent a whole new sub-genre of manager, called the ''walking cliche'', for someone who can''t talk in real sentences, only in a strange coded vocabulary of pure football cliches. You know the kind of thing. "Football is a game where you have to concentrate for 90 minutes." Or, "If you give the ball away you''re going to get punished."  And, "We have to walk tall, stick together, stand up and be counted." The sort of utterance where you don''t actually have to think before you speak, which is a great way of hiding the fact that you''re really really thick, and shouldn''t be employed as a farm-hand.

Here are some of the highlights from this weekend''s post match interview. 

"You can take a horse to water, but you can''t force it to drink."

"If you haven''t got the ball you can''t play football."

"We now  have to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and get back to work."

I only wish I''d started archiving these earlier in the season. There''s probably enough for a small book. Anyone remember any belters from previous games?

Also posted on NCFC boards.

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 Cliffoa !!! I was not much pleased by you''re reference to the really really thick and shouldn''t be employed as a farm hand piece, by implication it seems you feel that the farm-hand is likely to be of a lower intellect than yourself. 

Having been in business in this rural area for many years, I have been fortunate enough to have dealt with many of the farming community that you might be likely to include in that remark, I would say that, without exception, that particular group of our community have been the most inventive and industrious and productive in our country.  They have to by nature of their work, to have such a wide range of technical and constructive skills, that they would be an asset to any potential employer, certainly in the industrial, forestry and veterinary fields. You also will find that many are pretty good at electronics and IT.  I do hope that you will not be offended by my bringing this to your attention.

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He''s great at making very obvious statements but seems helpless when it comes to addressing those statements and the underlying problems. Any idiot can make observations like ''if you haven''t got the ball you can''t play football.''

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My ''favourite'' (i.e. the one that got me grinding my teeth...) was something like

"Well, Roy, we''re going to sit down in the dressing room and discuss this..." [latest abysmal display and thrashing by a fourth-rate team], "...find out where we are at, and take it from there". 

So far, there''s been no feedback from Worthless on this one, so I guess they''re still wondering where they are at ..... To [mis]quote Barmy Kipper, "the team are not a million miles from where we want them to be..."  He''s right - more like two million...

Variations on the above quote have been endless, and have been rolled out with monotonous regularity by Worthless over the course of this awful season.  [:@]

I wouldn''t be surprised if he dishes up something similar in the pre-match pep talk:  "Right, chaps. I want you to go out, find out where you are at, and take it from there".  No wonder they all look so clueless..... It normally takes them until about 4.30 to work it out, even with more clues (presumably) being given at half-time.... I can hear the half time update now:
" Right chaps. I''ll give you a clue. You''re at a football match.  And it''s Carrer Rud this week.  I know it''s quiet, Hoooozie, but the supporters said they want to see where the team''s at before they''re willing to sing OTBC again....   So - good luck! - and, for those of you who think you''ve worked out where you''re at, remember that we have to change ends for the second half, so you may have to work it out again..."

!!! GIVE ME STRENGTH !!!

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perhaps Worthy needs the old chestnut "if it moves, kick it, if it doesnt move kick it until it does"!

he might grasp the basics of football himself then!

jas :)

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