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A Load of Squit

Smith's Drive to Carrow Rd

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I bet he sits in the outside lane going exactly 69 mph, refusing to pull into the empty land to his left. Completely unaware of the queue behind him as he's got Duran Duran on his in car entertainment system playing so loud that poor old Shakey (who he insists on picking up) has to put his fingers in his ears to try and remain sane.

If the lights change when he approaches a junction he then spends the entire time criticising the bulbs and Shakey for not putting in the effort.

When he finally arrives at the ground he then holds a press conference to explain that he's never had to stop at a red light as the traffic management people head hunted him to have a special device that stops the light changing to red.

On the way home they stop at the chippy but he makes Shakey go in and get the food whilst he keeps the engine running as he doesn't want to get cold.

 

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2 minutes ago, TIL 1010 said:

To sum up he is a bland, dour, boring Brummie with no charisma.

I have good reason to believe that he is as interesting as that.

 

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I reckon it's a relationship similar to Alan partridge and Gill.

Where Dean sings certain parts of songs and tells shakey to listen.

 something like "deano, Kenny really is not a left...... Shakey listen to this it will knock your socks off..."

Obviously Deano has driving gloves as well.

Before he gets out of the car at carrow he pleads with shakey "they love me don't they, the villa fans" "but Deano we are at Norwich " "but they do don't they shakey they still love me...."

After a few tears they head in for the presser 

Edited by Nexus_Canary

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13 hours ago, Creedence Clearwater Couto said:

He’s here for the season, may as well get used to it.

Oh don't, life is depressing enough already

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15 hours ago, Nexus_Canary said:

I reckon it's a relationship similar to Alan partridge and Gill.

Where Dean sings certain parts of songs and tells shakey to listen.

 something like "deano, Kenny really is not a left...... Shakey listen to this it will knock your socks off..."

Obviously Deano has driving gloves as well.

Before he gets out of the car at carrow he pleads with shakey "they love me don't they, the villa fans" "but Deano we are at Norwich " "but they do don't they shakey they still love me...."

After a few tears they head in for the presser 

Who is Gill?

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On 04/11/2022 at 11:19, Nexus_Canary said:

Sorry fat thumbed Jill , his secretary 

She's called Lynn. Are you even from Norfolk?!?!

  • Sad 1

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On 03/11/2022 at 19:44, cambridgeshire canary said:

You forgot that he puts his hands in his pockets and drinks tea.

Great . If he does while driving that’s another six points . Top two !😉

  • Haha 1

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On 03/11/2022 at 20:23, Creedence Clearwater Couto said:

He’s here for the season, may as well get used to it.

You are probably right, I do not think it matters how long he is at Norwich I do not think I will ever connect to him, whatever happens on the pitch, do not dislike him, just don't connect with him...........

  • Thanks 1

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5 minutes ago, Wings of a Sparrow said:

He means Lynn.

You people.

This Country.

Etc.

 

Lol wtf.... Of course Lynn.

Apologies for the massive brain fart and insult to our cultural hero.

Yes Lynn 😱😬

Finally got it right.

Back of the net.

Just need some liquid football now at carrow road.

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I know my parodies are so well crafted and you all appreciate them but I'd like to share a genuine conversation I heard this weekend.

Person 1. What are they doing during the World Cup?

Person 2. They're having a week off then going warm weather training.

P1. Warm weather? It'll be December when they start again, it'll be freezing, what's the point of warm weather training?

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On 04/11/2022 at 18:39, Mello Yello said:

Stream SONAR feat. Alan Partridge (OLD SKOOL MIX) by Dan J | Listen online  for free on SoundCloud

"Dean!..Dean!..Dean!..DEAN!..DEAN!..DEAN!..DEAN!..DEAN!"....

Prefer Dean to that idiot

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2 hours ago, If wed kept Howie.. said:

Stop getting Partridge wrong!

 

Lynn is his PA..

Jill was the secretary at (the now defunct) Peartree Productions

I know I know brain fart moment which we have already addressed.

 

Although arguing about partridge would be an all time pinkun low.

Akin to a dirty protest or hiding a big plate 

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