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Bill

Limerick time

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There once was a young keeper who was dutch

who had to walk with a crutch

he injured his thigh

I can't remember why

but now he is far better by much

 

readers may be interested to know that my fourth book of prose, Verse and Worse, is now out priced £17.99 at Jarrolds (now South Stand books)

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2 minutes ago, Rich T The Biscuit said:

Am I the biscuit or am I the wink

All these logins do make you think

Rock the boat is much more me

Mainly because it contains RTB

😉

 

Run out of likey things 😀

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There once was a lady called Lawson

Who had a long t*t and a short ‘un

To make up for the loss

She had a c*** like a hoss 

And a fart like a 650 Norton!

Edited by Crafty Canary
  • Haha 2

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6 minutes ago, Crafty Canary said:

There once was a lady called Lawson

Who had a long t*t and a short ‘un

To make up for the loss

She had a c*** like a hoss 

And a fart like a 650 Norton!

you can always rely on some of the lower others to introduce vulgarity into things ☹️

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5 minutes ago, Bill said:

you can always rely on some of the lower others to introduce vulgarity into things ☹️

'twas fine for KG earlier though! 

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There was a young player called Giannoulis

Who was coached by the great Tony Pulis

You could never out jump him when it came in to the box

Cos he would pull  you down by the goulies

 

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There was a young Finn called Pukki

Whose finishing some might call flukey

Along came Buendia

Who changed his career

Now Goreham just says "Holy Fookey!"

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A Spurs player called Ollie Skipp

Over centre-mid he got a grip

With the Mayor by his side

Every midfield they fried

Back to the Prem, we took a trip

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An AM who went by Todd C

Gave 2 fingers to all and sundry

He grew out his hair

His chest he laid bare

And signed terms with Leicester City

 

(alternative to controversial closing line - Please stay here forever Toddy!)

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Now emboldened to put this in verse
I say that I think they got worse
Totally demented
And never lamented
We should pack this thread off in a hearse! 😉
 

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A battering ram called Jordan

Was all the club was affordin'

He'd just made his mark

Got put off the park

Like Drmic he's now off recordin'

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Did you just hear the latest on Twitter
'Bout that lot who keep getting s-h-i-tter?
They've just launched an ale
About Lambert's pure fail
It's either a stout or a bitter!

Edited by TheGunnShow
Forgot the *bleep* censors
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A new coach who came here called Farke,

Just tore up the league in a parka

But then was not backed

Heard talk of being sacked

His mood became gradually darker

 

But then came a bright new season

Was Gibson the primary reason?

Or perhaps Ollie Skipp

Who just let it rip

And climbed back to the top of the tree, son!

 

(I think I'll leave it there,

My posting is generally rare

I enjoy a good rhyme

From time to time

but the meter on this thread was quare!)

 

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There was a remoaner called Bill

Whose abuse of others was shrill

When he was proven to be wrong

He ****ed off for so long

To be sedated by a plethora of pills

  • Haha 1

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There was a remoaner called Bill

Who was no friend of our Till

They met in a bar

And had a good spar

As usual Bill lost - Five Nil

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There once was a player called Rupp

Who played for a team going up

They were trying so hard

to keep playing their League card

They couldn't be arsed with the cup

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2 hours ago, Rich T The Biscuit said:

Lower others, hark at you king of the forum.

Please do share where we all sit in the position of hierarchy beneath you Oh Mighty Bill 🤷🏻

Fishing Cartoons HD Stock Images | Shutterstock

ps it is lower orders 😏

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There was once a player called Tettey

who really could do with a new knee

he played for years

without showing any tears

as his face showed permanent glee

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There once was a player called Onel

who on the wing wanted to unleash merry hell

he had a favourite shop

whilst the team sits at the top

when will he next play, time will tell

 

 

 

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The Tractor boys boss is a clown,

A bottle of Bells he'd down

No land of honey

Came from all of Evans money

The red nosed clown took town down

Edited by First Wazzock

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There once was a chap with tourettes syndrome

Who was quite polite and pleasant at home

It was only when out on the street

by chance others to meet

F**k you c**t, ar se, bollox s**t, his mouth did foam

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11 minutes ago, TheGunnShow said:

There once was a guy from Sri Lanka.... 😉

that's enough of that, thank you 😠

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14 minutes ago, Bill said:

that's enough of that, thank you 😠

There once was a bloke from Nantucket...

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There once was a bloke from Nantucket...

On whose head was worn a bucket

Being partial to his ale

He drilled a hole through the pail

And so through it, he could suck it

  • Haha 1

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There once was a poster called Bill

Who needed to learn how to chill

"Limericks!" he did said

When he started the thread

Well of course with swear words it'd fill

 

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44 minutes ago, NFN FC said:

There once was a poster called Bill

Who needed to learn how to chill

"Limericks!" he did said

When he started the thread

Well of course with swear words it'd fill

 

Careful now, you may be one of those lower others he was referring to earlier.

So bow to the forum King and take back what you said 😬

 

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