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I just can't wait to renew my season tickets.....

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They only cost me just over £1200 last season so although I''ve yet to calculate the new pricing following the highly reasonable 2.7% hike in the prices, I''m more than happy to sign up again.

With Fleming, Colin, Hughes, Robinson, Thorne already guaranteed to be in the squad next year as well as the possibility of Jason Jarrett staying and the occasional risk of a Jarvis or Henderson appearing for 20 minutes near the end of a game, admittedly but understandably out of position, unless we are unfortunately down to the ''bare bones'' when they may get a whole game at full back, who wouldn''t be happy, indeed grateful  to pay to watch such talent.

As I live in the Midlands it''s only a 5 hour round trip for home games at a cost of around £60 with food, usually resulting in a 10 hour excursion including the game so no real inconvenience to get to the games either.

Now I find, thank you Delia and the whole board, that we''ve managed to secure the services, admittedly only on loan, but fingers crossed, of a crack striker and a defensive midfielder and all we''ve lost is an out of form striker who could rarely reach Greeno''s long kicks anyway, so no great loss.

Does life get any better than this? On the ball city.




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That''s nothing shortfatb! I''ve got to fork out £478.00 sterling for my season ticket! (that''s including the price hike!). I''m a bit annoyed, as I can purchase a decent 3 piece suite to sit on for that money; instead of a "yellow pile pressing (''Ooh me Rockfords!'') piece of plastic!" (Steward''s refused to let me bring my easy chair into the ground!)

I pay good money to see quality, and I''m really over the moon - that I''ll get to witness the Eaton College 2nd eleven represent us in the Chumpionship next season!

I live about 50 mins walking distance to Norwich City FC, and have the uncomfortable scenario and inconvenience, of having to pass 6 public houses on my way down to the "Stadium of Serene!"..... I''ve probably spent 18 quid before I make Riverside! Then, a burger and a hot dog, cos'' I get the munchies when I''ve had a beer...... Into the ground, tactically avoiding a programme purchase (waste of dosh!) a quick sneer and snarl plus a flippant comment directed at the ruddy faced rural''s in the Cathedral Lounge.....and then I make my way to my seat!

90 plus minutes of grunt, snort, fart, wheeze and belch. Followed by whinge, moan, gripe, swear, bleat and the occasional lash out at the senior citizens who dare to stare at me! including Delia, hubby & Chairman Mumbles etc!......... PEEP! Fulltime! (I don''t do nowt at halftime, as I like watchin'' the Pink''Un corner takin'' farce!) Hilarious!

Post draw/defeat narrow victory whatever.........I make my way to ''Scores'' and the meeting place of the true fan, for a quick Guinness and packet of overpriced Salt and cholestrol monosodium glutomate potato things. Watch the replay of the draw/defeat narrow victory whatever on the ageing passive smoke particle stained screens. Out into the cool evening air......for a quick burger ''burp!'' and down to riverside and the cheapy booze heaven which is Lloyds!

Me and my fellow chums pouring ale and vodka red bulls down our throats without a care in the world! Had enough in there, as the soles of me feet are sticking to the beer sodden tiles in front of the bar! Off outside we go! Straight past ''Norwegian Blue Bore'' YAWNnnnnn! Scarey Squares is also avoided...... Boring Brannigans? ''no ta very much!''....and onward to Prince of Wailing Road! Sidestep the Compleat Wrangler and push on......Screeching to a halt for a: "KFC bargain bucket for me please - I''m somewhat peckish!" "Dribble, munch slobber - itz gud is luvverly, mmph chomp!" Deposit bucket and KFC calcified remains in the lap of  poor, fallen on hard times street beggar. Then, plough on to The Prince of Whales boozer! Lovely drunken middle aged ladies - fawning all over ''my body is a  temple (I''m not fat-just big boned!) majestic frame''.....Whispering sweet FA into my aural sensing organs, with their curry and stale aled furred tongued breath.....More drinkin'' and flirtin'' and then the mist descends.........Into the dreaded bowels of hell we venture....."Brain to nether regions/reproductive organs...you have control.....welcome to "CHICAGO''S!"......Aaahhhhhhhhh Saaaaavvvve Meeeeeee!!!!

And that''s a day in the life of Mello''s Match Day! I can''t tell you the remainder of what goes on, as the moderator''s and censorship won''t allow it! Plus, as I''m so lashed up! I can''t remember what I get up to! So shortfatb, you think you spend a few bob supporting NCFC?  Pah! Peanuts chum! But, I just can''t wait to renew my season ticket either! OTBC ;~)

It''s just not the football that makes Saturday''s Special........Does life get better than this? NOPE! ;~)

"Please don''t tell me missus!"........... ;~(        


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