dylanisabaddog 4,754 Posted March 14, 2020 I've run out and I'm currently doing handstands in the shower. If anyone sees any please report back Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Capt. Pants 4,092 Posted March 14, 2020 The East Anglian Daily Times back page is a good substitute. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bill 1,788 Posted March 14, 2020 Loo Rolls - the musical Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
keelansgrandad 6,679 Posted March 14, 2020 I just sent a Labrador puppy off to you with one. Hope there's enough left when it reaches you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bill 1,788 Posted March 14, 2020 4 minutes ago, keelansgrandad said: I just sent a Labrador puppy off to you with one. Hope there's enough left when it reaches you. if not Labrador puppies fur is quite absorbant Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ricardo 7,239 Posted March 14, 2020 I'm growing dock leaves in the back garden. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sonyc 5,447 Posted March 14, 2020 14 minutes ago, Capt. Pants said: The East Anglian Daily Times back page is a good substitute. The Green 'Un Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Canary1 91 Posted March 14, 2020 I'm using a hose pipe in the bathroom Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
keelansgrandad 6,679 Posted March 14, 2020 Latest image from Dylans Back Garden 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KiwiScot 1,418 Posted March 14, 2020 (edited) The streets are filled with crazed people suffering from toilet paper withdrawal and the well off lording it in their paper machete Instagramable poses. Fights are breaking out and I've been propositioned by several street creatures should I have a roll of andrex for them Edited March 14, 2020 by KiwiScot Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ron obvious 1,473 Posted March 14, 2020 What's with this bog roll nonsense? I use about 4 a year. It's one of the reason's I'm so green ... the mould you understand ... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dylanisabaddog 4,754 Posted March 14, 2020 34 minutes ago, keelansgrandad said: I just sent a Labrador puppy off to you with one. Hope there's enough left when it reaches you. Oh God. Another Labrador 🙁 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
keelansgrandad 6,679 Posted March 14, 2020 One up, one down and one shiner from now on Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BroadstairsR 2,096 Posted March 14, 2020 Use a sponge. eg Tesco car wash sponge cut in half. Wash out each wipe. Washes out totally. Wash your hands afterwards as usual. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FenwayFrank 2,427 Posted March 14, 2020 I think I might be ok Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
keelansgrandad 6,679 Posted March 14, 2020 Found a solution Dylan 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Van wink 2,994 Posted March 14, 2020 Newspapers were commonly used, there are many around now that would be improved by the use. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wcorkcanary 4,316 Posted March 14, 2020 (edited) 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Edited March 14, 2020 by wcorkcanary Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mello Yello 2,265 Posted March 15, 2020 Ssh.....I'm using my good lady's favourite flannel..... 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cornish sam 923 Posted March 16, 2020 On 15/03/2020 at 09:32, Mello Yello said: Ssh.....I'm using my good lady's favourite flannel..... That's a good point actually, why don't we have reusable loo rolls? We have reusable nappies, in the past people just used to wash the Terry cloth for babies but never for the adults on the bog... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Apples 1,314 Posted March 16, 2020 Who is bog roll king of this message board, (from the Daily Mash)? 🤣 I am the bog roll king by Nathan Muir of Hitchin, Hertfordshire I AM king of the bog roll. I sit on a throne built from 24-packs of only the softest, most absorbant loo paper. None may challenge my reign. You panic-bought this weekend? Oh, my child. I have been buying up stocks for weeks. I have more toilet roll than anyone in a 15-mile radius, including small shops. It will never run out. You’ve filled your garage with it? Ah, your naivety makes me chuckle. You remind me of myself, six weeks ago. I have filled my whole house. I no longer have a bed. I sleep on bog roll. I eat at a bog roll table. I lounge on a supremely comfortable bog roll sofa. Every room in my house is piled to the ceiling with sweet, wonderful bog roll. Soon, society will collapse. Banknotes won’t be worth, if you’ll pardon my joke, wiping your bum on. There will be only one source of wealth, only one currency. And I have cornered the market. They will come to me, the former great and good, laid low by their own foulage. They will give me diamonds, titles, positions of great power in return for a single roll of Andrex Skin Kind with aloe vera and chamomile. I will take all as my due. I am the bog roll king. I am the emperor of the sh*thouse. All hail me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Crabbycanary3 994 Posted March 16, 2020 I have a Bidet for hire Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yellow and Green 334 Posted March 16, 2020 On 15/03/2020 at 04:13, keelansgrandad said: One up, one down and one shiner from now on Red Dwarf? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Uncle Fred 526 Posted March 16, 2020 Things are getting serious Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mello Yello 2,265 Posted March 16, 2020 3 hours ago, Uncle Fred said: Things are getting serious Andrexia Nervousa. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wcorkcanary 4,316 Posted March 16, 2020 8 hours ago, Uncle Fred said: Things are getting serious Why did your dungarees thread disappear Fredo? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Buendia Than Barnby 50 Posted March 16, 2020 On 14/03/2020 at 19:30, Capt. Pants said: The East Anglian Daily Times back page is a good substitute. On 14/03/2020 at 19:45, sonyc said: The Green 'Un Or The Brown 'Un, as the case may be! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pugin 601 Posted March 17, 2020 We can all learn from history. Surely, there is enough choice here to keep everyone happy and healthy down below? After experimenting with seashells, stone and sand, good old scratchy Izal toilet paper would seem like luxury. Trust Henry VIII to take things to the extreme. Medieval toilet paper (from Wiki) Before the advent of modern toilet paper many different materials were used for the same purposes. Different materials were used depending upon the country, weather conditions, social customs and status. People used leaves, grass, ferns, corn cobs, maize, fruit skins, seashells, stone, sand, moss, snow and water. Surely one of the most repulsive jobs in history, the ‘Groom of the King’s Close Stool’ (or just Groom of the Stool for short) was a role created during the reign of Henry VIII to monitor and assist in the King’s bowel motions. The word ‘Stool’ was in reference to a portable commode which would have been carried around at all times, along with water, towels and a wash bowl. To ensure he was carrying out his job at peak efficiency, the Groom of the Stool would also have closely monitored the king’s diet and mealtimes, and would have organised his day around the king’s predicted motions. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites