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Camuldonum - a few of the best bits

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This is an offshoot of the Bill/City1st thread which attracted quite a lot of interest. Getting to grips with Camuldonum's footprint in cyberspace isn't too difficult if you know where to start looking.

It helps to know what his interests were - Colchester United, Lincoln City, Norwich City, politics, highbrow classical music, buses coaches and trains from the post-war period, hedgehogs, English folk dance and songs, ancient English history, and who knows what else? That's enough to be going on with.

It also helps to know that Camulodunum was the Roman name for Colchester, and Cam's user names tend to derive from the word.

There are thousands and thousands of Cam's posts out there. On the Pink 'Un and Colchester message boards alone I have found well over 13000. I have picked out maybe half a dozen as a bit of a tribute to him and I will post them on this thread. I don't pretend to have read more than a small percentage of his overall output!
Cam tended to be very serious on the Pink 'Un message board, but there was also a very funny side to him which appears elsewhere. He knew what buttons to press to get the classical music buffs into an absolute frenzy. I think they deserved it. His writing style was unfailingly easy and elegant. We can all be envious of that.

The post below is my all-time favourite. I played a lot of football in the old South Norfolk Sunday League, and it reminded me of games out in the wilds at places like Withersdale, Eye, Homersfield and Ditchingham.


Edited by Pugin
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Cam#1 - the curious case of the pitch being eaten
Cam posted: I've seen three to one side in local soccer but it was many many years ago - all I remember is that involved Finchingfield Rovers being on the receiving end in the long gone and probably forgotten "North Essex League".

Oh, and the incredible Cup Final in same between Hempstead and Finchingfield Rovers which Rovers won 7-5 in normal time but in which a penalty area was entirely eaten away.

But that's another story of a football age long gone...................
It was played at Steeple Bumpstead (where else) - after two days of torrential rain, leaving the pitch with lakes outside both penalty areas and where several shots and free kicks towards either keeper floated to them.

At half time teams and spectators fled to the Village Hall (no changing accommodation on the field). Because the ground was too wet for the line machine to "take" they had marked everything out at one end with what looked like sawdust.

It wasn't sawdust. It was animal feed and at half time one pig and about 40 chickens escaped from the nearby allotment and ate most of it..........

There was a penalty to Hempstead in the second half and as the "spot" had disappeared the referee had to pace it out.

About 1965 it was - it made page one of Monday's Daily Express and I got £300 which was more than I earned in a week for the long gone Essex Weekly News.
edit - date 25th Sept 2009
Edited by Pugin
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Cam#2 (sorry it's a bit crude, but still funny)

2nd Sept 2009

Cam said: 

When the first edition of last Saturday's Daily Express arrived on the News Desk, the Editor (Peter "Mentally" Hill) went beserk because there were no less than five headlines containing the word "finally."

One of them was on a two page spread on pages 40/41 which read: "Can Dec finally match Ant?"

The Editor insisted that it be changed to: "Can Dec at last match Ant?"

Owing to a technical glitch only Page 40 got changed to read "Can Dec a"

Thus it was that the final edition carried the headline:

"Can Dec anally match Ant?"


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Cam#3 - lovely tribute to Keith Alexander 

17th March 2010

Cam wrote:

Just to round this thread off, Keith's family asked for his funeral to be a celebration of his life rather than an example of doleful mourning. Whatever anyone says it is always hard to describe a funeral as an occasion of rejoicing but everyone tried their best at Lincoln Cathedral and it came closer than most events of their kind that I have experienced

The great Cathedral was filled to capacity with well over 2000 people in attendance with many ordinary fans in the colours of clubs Keith had been associated with and not a few wearing his trademark yellow socks which was a nice touch. Among them were the professionals, players past and present from all over (they more formally adorned), managers, assistants, coaches from the Premier League through to non League and local, Paul Ince, Trevor Brooking, Mick McCarthy, David Moyes, Chris Hughton were among some familiar faces who sat among some unfamiliar faces from the world of non league.

The streets leading to Uphill were lined by crowds on both sides of the road as the cortege made its way to the Cathedral and many applauded as he was "walked" to the Cathedral itself.

There were moving eulogies from his son, a poem from his brother and the Bishop of Lincoln, an Imps fan, broke with normal Church of England convention in his remembrances by describing Keith as "one HELL of a Manager."

At his family's request his two favourite songs - Mr Bojangles and No Woman No Cry - were movingly performed by a choir of senior pupils from Lincoln's Minster School.

As he was carried from the Cathedral to his last rest those present broke into spontaneous applause which duly echoed back off the stone and made it sound like many thousands more.

In a private ceremony for the family he was laid to rest in the village cemetery at St Chad's, Dunholme.

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Cam#4 - perhaps these words should be his epitaph

23rd Jan 2100

Cam wrote:

That's the great thing about being a journalist. Everybody hates you unless, of course, they actually agree with you in which case they send you herograms sometimes.

Such is life
And life is such
And after all it isn't much
First a cradle, then a hearse
It might have been better
But it could have been worse

Like the majority of football message boards it's just words..................

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Cam#5 - David McNally

5th June 2010

There is something deliciously funny about this which appears to have eluded the Norwich Evening News.

Either Mr Cowling is remarkably prescient or someone tipped him off.

McNally's nickname at Fulham started off as Him but then became Himmler which caught on.

Perhaps they could do a follow up along these lines? Or not, as the case may be.

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Cam#6 - I like this nickname for Gary Karsa haha

30th December 2009

Cam wrote:

That can be manipulated if it suits both - national newspapers and football clubs are glaring examples of same.  At executive level at  Mr Murdoch''s lot the notice is normally either six or twelve months but if they want to get shot of you they simply pay up the rest of the notice period.  Alternatively if you want to go they will let you do so to avoid a disaffected member of staff hanging about or put you on "gardening leave" to annoy the buyer.

But there has to be an agreement of sorts either way.  And there wasn''t when PL departed nor was there for Mr Culverhouse or Who Knows What This Bloke Actually Does both walked out on a match day apparently to complete unemployment - unless they knew something of course.[:D]


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