Rudolph Hucker 0 Posted January 20, 2006 Norwich City called a press conference this afternoon to announce the sighting of a rare Grey Bottle Nosed Humpback Minky Porpoise seen passing under Carrow Bridge. The leviathan, weighing approximately 12 tonnes is a native of the Taiwanese coast and has never before been recorded west of Madagascar. Scientists at Hewett School suggest the mammal, which can grow up to the length of 12 Sanders Coaches, was attracted by scraps thrown overboard from the floating chinese restaurant afer losing it''s bearings and being carried by trade wind assisted currents around the Horn of Africa. It is also believed to be female, lacking in spatial awareness and driven into the Yare by disturbance from the Scroby Sands wind farm.Nigel Worthington, however was quick to play down the speculation. ''The er whale situation hasn''t changed here and until someone comes up with a sighting which satisfies Norwich City Football Club there will be no change in that (pause) er (breathy pause) situation.''Interest has apparently been shown in the animal by The Natural History Museum, Hunstanton Sea Life Centre and a Norwich based Japanese restaurant but according to Worthy again ''At this moment in time the whale is here, it is staying here, it is a Norwich City Grey Bottle Nosed Humpback Minky Porpoise and we have received no firm offer for it which interests...click...which interests....click...which interests....click...which interrrrrrrrrr..........clunk!Barney Scrotum from South Lopham was fishing from Wetherspoons beer garden at the time, he said..''I saw this thing in the water and I knew straight away that wuz a Minky Porpoise, I said to my mate Billy, go yew on and get the big landin'' net boy.''The mammal has now beached outside the Bridge Tavern, Lenwade and is reported to be injured following a training session by NCFC coaching staff intended to improve it''s fitness and energy levels and enable it to find it''s way back to the open sea. The creature apparently swam around the Mill pool in circles through making no use of it''s right side, found itself badly out of position, lost form, momentum, direction, confidence and eventually the will to live. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Web Team - Vince 0 Posted January 20, 2006 Minky Porpoise... back of the net. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mello Yello 2,280 Posted January 21, 2006 Minky Pinky skin so slinky - faces a late fitness test tomorrow. It hasn''t trained all week due to a dorsal fin strain.A ''Seal'' has been brought in as a possible replacement for Minky, but ''Seal'' refuses to play - unless his musical chum ''Adamski'' is allowed entrance into the match and is allowed a whale of a time plus a galleon of brine - and one of Delia''s ''No stars comin'' here gazy pies!''..... ;~) Something very fishy about this post........... ;~) Neil (lobster) Doncaster, was asked if funds out of ''Davy Jones''s locker'' were to be made available for further ''haddockitions'' to the ''Squid'' He refused to ''cormorant'' because he''s a ''shellfish barsteward!''........ OTBC Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alex Harvey-Jones 0 Posted January 21, 2006 Love the bit about being female and lacking spatial awareness - very amusing!! :-) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
breaker 0 Posted January 21, 2006 I think it is unacceptable to talk about Robert Chase having a morning dip in our fine river in this derogatory fashion. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rudolph Hucker 0 Posted January 21, 2006 NEWS UPDATE.In an interview just before it died the Minky Porpoise admitted it had intended swimming up the Waveney but decided to avoid Lowestoft because of a whinging old git with a bad reputation amoungst the marine environment. The identity of this individual is currently being sought. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mello Yello 2,280 Posted January 21, 2006 That old defensive stalwart "Minky Mackay" is to play against his former club ''No-Rich Sleazy''..............In attendance, will be the "Whore-nests" former ''Poptastic Chairperson'' Mr Elton (puffer fish) John..........Asked if he was looking forward to the game the tubster replied: "Nah not really......but I''m quite excited about goin'' on the lash down Prince of Whales Road after the match though - because ''Saturday night''s alright for fightin!''......although I''m not a violent bloke really, but if you say I am, I''ll punch yer in the bleedin'' froat!" ;~) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fat Barman 0 Posted January 21, 2006 Mello Yello wrote...He refused to ''cormorant'' because he''s a ''shellfish barsteward!''........I think it''s unnecessary to refer to Bar Stewards in this derogatory fashion!He shoots.....he scores! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lucky green trainers 0 Posted January 21, 2006 distinct lack of porpoise at carra rd! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rudolph Hucker 0 Posted January 21, 2006 Getting really worried about you Mello. Was it you today talking to the curtains and putting biscuits up your nose?By the way the biscuit scoffers, you know those who get in 3 minutes before half time and take half a packet, at least got some come uppance today by missing our opening goal. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
