Nuff Said 5,092 Posted April 8, 2019 Just read this: https://www.fansnetwork.co.uk/football/queensparkrangers/news/50073 and thought it was very funny. There but for the grace of god and all that. Very complimentary about us but absolutely damning about the Rs. My favourite passage: “...my absolute favourite bit of Saturday, the absolute classic of the QPR away from home collapse genre, was in the 21st minute. Jake Bidwell, absolutely all over the ****ing shop, tried to deliberately commit a foul after being skinned yet again and ended up injuring himself. While prostrate on the ground clutching his leg, his friend and colleague Joel Lynch approached the resulting loose ball and in attempting to clear it downfield completely miscued it and sent it fizzing along the ground at two million miles an hour straight into the side of Bidwell’s head. With the full back now both injured and concussed, and the ball back with Norwich who had an extra man, and Lynch out of position, the Canaries set about us again. Panicked, Lynch vacated his position altogether and came charging out to the man with the ball, committing himself with a big lunge which Buendia was able to calmly sidestep and move onwards with the ball towards a penalty area that now contained half the population of Norwich, two QPR defenders and one goalkeeper. The QPR defenders who were left then, for reasons I daren’t even begin to imagine, decided to creak that ****ing offside trap into life again. Now the penalty box contained half the population of Norwich, all of them onside, and one goalkeeper. Hernandez, almost too easy for him, tried an outlandish chip and missed.” 1 7 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bill 1,788 Posted April 8, 2019 An excellent and well written piece. The humour shines through the despair, anger and frustration that is all too often the lot of the football supporter. Read it, if only for the delightful similes and almost gallows humour Well done Mr Ranger Man. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Willmeister 35 Posted April 8, 2019 (edited) Fantastic work. Really had me chuckling here. Takes me back to the dark times of the late noughties. Edited April 9, 2019 by Willmeister Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Making Plans 936 Posted April 9, 2019 "Norwich are the best team in this league this season. From the quiet beginnings of a death-defyingly dull 1-0 win at Loftus Road in the autumn they have blossomed into the team that plays the best football in this league, scores the most goals in this league, wins the most games in this league and will certainly be crowned champions of this league sooner rather than later". Wonder what LDC will make of that? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dj11 377 Posted April 9, 2019 I cried with laughter. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Van wink 2,994 Posted April 9, 2019 "And even if you don’t care about any of that, even if you hate all of those people in that away end because they’ve dared to have a moan when you’ve punted the ball into touch under no pressure again, even if you never liked QPR in the first place and don’t give a stuff about all the great and not so great players that came before you, even if you think they’re all twats and it’s a tin pot club and you can’t wait to be out of here, aren’t you supposed to be a professional athlete? You’ve presumably toiled long and hard all the way through your childhood and teenage years to get to this point where you’re paid ridiculous sums of money to play football for a living. While all your mates were out drinking and shagging, you were in your parents’ house sleeping. When your peers went home from their day at school, you got in the car every night and drove miles and miles to some poxy training ground for some wannabee Jose Mourinho in an initialled tracksuit to yell and scream at you about pattern of play and moving through the thirds and all sorts of **** like that. You did your maths homework by the flicker of motorway lights on the backseat of your mum’s Volvo. You ate nothing but chicken and pasta when everybody else your age was eating McDonalds and Kimberley from second set Geography. You sacrificed loads to get to this point. Did you really do all that so you could amble about and ****ing embarrass yourself, your club and its supporters like this? Was that what it was all for? Did 14-year-old you always dream of being a professional footballer so you could phone in ****ing non-efforts like this and pick your money up regardless? If so, then you probably should have just gone and hung around outside the chicken shop with all the other pencil-dicked, pimple-faced, useless little **** that will never amount to anything either. If not, then what in the name of absolute **** are you playing at?" Love it 😂 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ron obvious 1,501 Posted April 9, 2019 ... I suspect the temptations of Kimberley might have ended my footballing ambitions ... 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
keelansgrandad 6,679 Posted April 9, 2019 Great stuff. As Bill said, Gallows humour, funnier than pathos, which many times can help you get through despair. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GenerationA47 750 Posted April 9, 2019 “QPR Star Man N/A” “Bummed in the gob by Josh Magennis” This astute & foulmouthed comedy totally made up for looking like TWTD, after I’d retched a bit upon the page loading. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GenerationA47 750 Posted April 9, 2019 Interesting you can say bummed in the gob but not, say, Alan Titchmarsh Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GenerationA47 750 Posted April 9, 2019 So you can say Alan Titchmarsh, so what yeah? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rivvo 257 Posted April 9, 2019 Ah but can you say Alan ****? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Feedthewolf 4,844 Posted April 9, 2019 Bookings: Lynch (42, being a díck) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GenerationA47 750 Posted April 9, 2019 2 hours ago, Rivvo said: Ah but can you say Alan ****? How do you spell ****? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites