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Ulf Ottosson

Norwich City - Room 101

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Bit of a break from the Worthy In or Out saga. You''ve all seen the show who or what would you put in. Here mine :

The River End Stand - no noise and full of whingers end of

On a more general football note - wasting time by keeping the ball in the corner how on earth is this not obstruction!!

P.S Try and stay away from the obvious e.g. Worthy, Jason Jarrett etc...

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People yelling ''SHOOT'' whenever Safri is in possession regardless of whereabouts on the pitch he is it was funny for about 5 mins but is a bit old hat now.

Also singing ''on the ball city'' whenever we have just conceded a goal. Sometimes it seems as though this is the only time we sing it. It is our anthem and just feels funereal when this happens. I should add the bit just before kick off with the p.a  guy getting everyone to sing it - for god''s sake we''re not all 12 years old. Rant over.

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The thing that really gets my goat is ''Alan Hansen'' who sits directly behind me talking a running commentary throughout the whole game, constantly putting the lads down (''absolutely diabolical'') and wishing he''d never come this afternoon.  Well so do bloody I!!!  Zip it!!  Feel better now - thank you! 

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Shirts with strange bits cut out of the collar and assorted different greens - can we have a plain yellow shirt & green shorts as it used to be (very fashionable as well right now).

Seats with restricted views - WHAT IS THE POINT?!

Closet Man Utd/Arsenal/Chelsea fans who sit in home stands laughing at City - GO AWAY!!!

Nurse, my medication....................

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1 - The PA before the game, "Leading us with kick if off"... Are we all 5 years old? Are we incapable of leading a chant without the aid of a local DJ whos name I cant remember?

2 - Fans screaming HANDBALL!! When it clearly isnt, dont football fans realize that if they only shouted handball when it genuinely is then its more likely to sway the refs decision rather than everytime its near a players body?

3 - Fans screaming FOUL REF! YOU NEED GLASSES YOU ******* ******!   Do I need to say more? Some of the fans round me need help I swear...

4 - Huckerby diving..

5 - Any fans in a shirt representing a team other than Norwich, or the team we happen to be playing on that day.

6 - Travelling home from an away game after a defeat... (Especially when you have just been beaten 6-0 to be relegated, your getting heiressed by some Idiot Spurs fans on the train home, and you have 3 hours worth of exams the next day!)

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Breaker,

So glad you seem to hate the current shirt. I wish we HAD worn it at Fulham and then it''s place as the unluckiest piece of attire could have been well and truly confirmed. ''Players like the loose collar.'' Oh Yeah! So why does Deano wear a virtual polo necked tee shirt underneath his? I seem to remember he was the original model as he sat polishing the bonnet of a Proton with the shorts and probably thinking the top could do a similar job. Still not as bad as the all yellow, heavy when wet, flannel job but I still can''t wait to see a new strip, with a sensibly placed badge and a neckline which doesn''t look like it has been ripped by a dangling groupie. We will struggle to win anything in this shirt.

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Ah but what about the shirt that looked as if a seagull with a bad case of gastric diarrhea had flown overhead...THAT was a horror if ever there was one.   Me I kind of liked that purple tartan thing we had as an away shirt some years ago...

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Thing is Stu the men in that shirt kicked ass at the Olympic Stadium, Munich. Plus, I remember speaking to Crooky about it pre-season and he quite liked it. Then again, when we spoke we were wearing our shell suits.

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Rudolf,                                                                                                                          

Im pretty sure we did wear that shirt at Fulham.

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Some of these are copied from others but have always annoyed me?

1, singing on cue before the game...we''re not in middle school for christs sake!

2, half time entertainment...its not good at any ground

3, Robert Greens hair cut

4, Fans of other clubs in the home fans (Middlesborough at home was particularly good when we scored the equaliser and the smile disappeared from that smug gits face though )

5, People calling for ridiculous decisions when its obviously not a foul,a penalty,an offside,or our ball when it''s clearly not

6, People eating during the game

7, People physically fighting with each other over games of football

8, AND FINALLY...any fan of Ips***!

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(1) Any match which kicks off before 2pm

(2) Fabian Wilnis

(3) Queue for pint at half-time (they have 45 minutes to get ready for chrissake, then still look surprised when people turn up looking  for a beer...why not a temporary beer table or 12???? it works at school fetes)

nb Mr. R. Munby, if you''re reading this ( a servant has logged on for you etc...) - action on point 3 might go some way towards compensating for our current chronic lack of a right midfielder...

 

 

 

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Green away Shirt

1. we never seem to win wearing them and play abismaly, why the change at Fulham to yellow then? dint work though!

2 even when we won league at Sunderland we lost!

3 Should only be worn when colour clash with opponents.

I only support two teams.........Norwich and anyone playing ip£$%ch

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Ball boys…….. great day out for them very traditional but get rid of them and replace them with……………………………………..models yes young fit female models who wheneva things aren’t looking to good for city take off an item of clothing therefore distracting the opposition its just genius. (any1 who shouts get ur tits out for the lads will be ejected btw its just down right sexist)

Next in seats, please some kind of designated standing area

If above is not allowed the slightly balding steward who tells us 2 sit dwn evry 2minutes

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Teams who are 1-0 up with 20 mins to go and decide to waste time by trying to hold the ball by the corner flag - city v cardiff.   Should be punished by a free kick for time wasting and has no place in the modern game

along with players waving imaginary cards at refs, and any chatback - the sooner we follow rugby on this sort of dissent the better - a couple of weeks with tems down to 9 players should ram the message home to these overpaid over protected prima donnas.

 

OTBC  

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